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martian witch

@bixbythemartian / bixbythemartian.tumblr.com

He/Him, Queer NB Pizza Delivery Witch who also writes sometimes, old enough to run for president, every original fiction story I write is under a creative commons sharealike license unless otherwise stated

Tumblr Fic Masterpost

As a note, all of my ficlets are to be considered written under the creative commons sharealike license, which is viewable here, but the answer to your question is: yes, so long as you credit me and license that work under the same terms.

Fic based on this prompt:  It’s 3 AM and you are heading to the kitchen to consume the shredded cheese as usual. Unusually, a wizard in full robes is there, already eating the cheese. (Published January 24 2019)

Fic based on this prompt:  The strongest warlock in all the land uses his power to constantly kidnap the princess. Most people believe it’s because he’s in love with her, but they have it all wrong. He’s in love with the knight who always comes to save her. (Published March 18 2019)

Fic based on this prompt:  You drop a small piece of food on the floor, and decide to kick it under the oven/couch/whatever because you can’t be bothered to pick it up. As you’re walking away, you hear a very quiet “Thank you!” from under it. (Published April 3 2019)

Fic based on this prompt: You’re a witch who makes a living selling potions, breaking hexes, etc. You seem like a regular shopkeep, but, if someone can give you the correct code-word, they can buy illegal love potions from your store, instantly making the recipiant fall madly in love with the customer…Or at least that’s what would happen if you hadn’t started partnering with the FBI soon after you opened the store. Write about your first sting. [Please note that this fic starts with a trigger warning about the topics of consent, more detailed at the link. I’ll happily answer questions about it if you need to know more before reading.] (Published April 11 2019)

Fic based on this prompt:  Explain how you try to calm down a newly turned vampire who was beyond pissed and ready to throw down at the vampire who turned them into a vampire because now they can’t eat their precious garlic bread anymore. (Published April 22 2019)

Fic based on this prompt:  After beating the hero near death, the villain is finally told that the hero isn’t even 18 yet. Now the villain is taking the hero to go fight the gods who had sent him, looking to stop them from endangering kids for their own benefit. (Published April 30 2019)

Fic based on this prompt:  You are back in your hometown for the weekend, and run into your long lost love. You are both happily in a relationship now but while you sit for a coffee and laugh about the old times, he suddenly gets very serious and says “it’s still you, you know? The person I see by my side, at the end of the day”. And your heart stops. (Published May 23 2019)

Fic based on this prompt:  You live with a Vampire. Every Saturday, you give them a cup of your blood, and they cook you a nice meal. (Published September 9 2019)

Fic based on this prompt: “Would you die for me?”“Again?” (Published October 7 2019)

Fic based on this prompt:  You’d known, intellectually, that your heroic nemesis was a teenager, but it didn’t really sink in until the day their school called because your number was the only one on their emergency contact list. (Published March 20 2020)

Fic based on this prompt: You are a human in world were all of the cryptic creatures you’ve ever known are real, every year there is a reunion where all of the local cryptics reunite and have a chance to talk with the humans.This year for some reason you received an invitation to be the host of the ceremony, however, this is a position that only cryptids can have. Your neighbors all have the same invitations, that’s were you notice, you are the only human in a neighborhood of shape-shifters. (Published April 15, 2020)

Fic based on this prompt: You are the completely ordinary secretary to a team of superheroes, and the only person who knows their secret identities, hideouts, etc. What happens when the supervillains find out about you? (Published August 24, 2020)

Fic based on this prompt: You’re a daycare worker, watching over toddlers, when the imminent end of the world is announced. It becomes increasingly clear none of the kids’ parents are going to show up as the end inches nearer. (Published October 27, 2020)

Fic based on this prompt: You’re a mimic. You were disguised as a chair in a dungeon when an adventurer decided to take you as loot. You’ve actually enjoyed your life ever since as furniture in a jolly tavern. So when some ruffians try to rob the now-elderly adventurer’s business, you finally reveal yourself. (Published October 20, 2021)

Fic based on this prompt: After a bad crash you’ve found yourself drifting through space, but your suit says you ran out of oxygen an hour ago. (Published June 30, 2022.)

Unprompted fic: Time Travel and YOU -This fic is a short, informative pamphlet from Tempus, Inc regarding your selection to their lucrative and fascinating and only somewhat dangerous time travel program. There are some mentions of horrific injuries, but nothing described in detail. (Published July 12, 2022)

Fic based on this prompt: You’ve just joined an adventuring party. The rogue wordlessly gives you a handkerchief and slinks away. “Ah, it’s his way of handling his kleptomania. Instead of stealing things at random, he’ll be going specifically for that.” (Published February 13, 2023) (I accidentally genderswapped the rogue.)

related stuff:

@jeannesreading did a wonderful audio rendition of The Strongest Warlock (for real y’all should check it out)

also of course @phinnsyreads​ put together an amazing audio rendition of The Thing Under the Fridge

Wanna Support Me?

If you want to help a guy out, you can head over to my ko-fi (also big thanks to everybody who’s helped out, you guys are amazing)

I still have a Patreon, I plan on refitting it for longer form pieces that are less suited to tumblr. Not doing much with it at the moment, because in these pandemic times I don’t wanna put anything behind a paywall, but if you want to support me a little bit on a recurring basis, that’d be the place to do it.

I’m eventually going to finish the novel I started on it, but in all honesty I wrote myself into a corner on that one and need to figure out what I’m going to do next. It’s all still up and it’s public and free, and if anybody wants to give me some feedback, it’s there. 

If you can’t help me out financially, I totally understand, the other way to support me is to reblog it so that others can see it.

ETA: @phinnsyreads also did the Society for Cryptids in the Earthly Plane if you missed that when it happened, give it a listen. 

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

An actual World Heritage Post

how does this post not have a million notes but anyone online can quote it

one week until ten years of Spiders Georg

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I made this post the other day on impulse, it's mostly just me banging the old "reverse the nsfw ban" drum that I'm sure staff has already heard a million times. It wasn't meant to be like a researched thing, but I do want to say like, I know staff can't just flip a switch and magically turn the porn back on. I know FOSTA-SESTA is a thing, I know credit card companies are getting stricter, I know tumblr doesn't want to get pulled from the app store. I get all that. I'm sympathetic even. That doesn't mean I think it's impossible, or that it wouldn't be worth the effort both from a cultural and a financial perspective, but I get it. But folks

Folks it has been such a shit year to be an artist.

Between AI art, Imgur banning nsfw content, reddit's impending implosion, and twitter asphyxiating... it's fucking rough out there right now. And I'm lucky. I stayed on tumblr, and my content all falls comfortably within the (poorly defined, arbitrarily implemented) nsfw guidelines. There are thousands of artists way more talented than me, way bigger than me, who are starting from essentially scratch. Who are now picking up the pieces and figuring out where they can even go from here. You know how we always joke about how if you wanted to make money as an artist, draw furry porn? That... can't really happen anymore. You can open a patreon, get lucky, get some commissions, but the platforms for building a robust audience just aren't there like they used to be. It sucks.

Look, fact is tumblr doesn't have to do anything. They can do what they like, keep the nsfw policy in this nebulous grey area where they don't have to commit to repealing it or enforcing it. And that's probably fine enough for them. But if it's not going to be tumblr? I don't think it's going to be... anything. Not for a while. Not until we get something new.

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I feel so... down whenever I want to watch queer or trans videos because I know in the back of my mind that none of the current large queer content creators' content or community is safe for people like me, intersex people.

I love their work otherwise, but it hurts badly to hear them toss around casual intersexism in their videos constantly when discussing queer and trans issues and nobody ever mentions it.

And because these are large, popular creators, nobody has ever listened when I've tried to ask they adjust their language. My dms go ignored or unseen and my public comments get drowned out by fans defending their intersexist comments. It's emotionally draining and exhausting, I just want to be included in my own community.

Genuinely asking if you are comfortable sharing, but what are some examples of "casual intersexism"? I'm honestly less read up on it than I should as someone who is intersex. Feel free to ignore this though should you not feel like it or anything.

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  • Stripping our intersex status when it fits an argument, ex. "Cis kids get put on hormones no problem while trans kids are denied them" (While they ignore that these are intersex children forced onto hormones)
  • Using us when it does fit an argument, but ignoring us entirely outside of that context, ex. Using intersex people existing to validate trans people existing, but never doing any sort of intersex advocacy unless it directly benefits/includes trans people as well
  • Erasing intersex issues while attempting to argue trans rights, ex. "No child is getting forced sex changes, that's not a thing that happens" (It doesn't happen to trans people, but happens all the time to intersex people)
  • Saying that sex is binary but gender isn't (Neither of them are binary)
  • Reducing intersex people down to cis people with disorders, ex. "Cis people without uteruses" or "Cis people with gynecomastia"
  • In addition to the above point, generally acting as if intersex people are not oppressed or as though we have it better than trans people do, often by calling us cis and disordered rather than intersex, ex. "Cis women with high testosterone levels are allowed in sports but trans people aren't" (Which is not even really a true statement) or by wishing that they were intersex or openly admitting to calling themselves intersex in their personal life in an attempt to avoid discrimination
  • Casual use of the word "Hermaphrodite"
  • Calling intersex animals trans/nonbinary
  • Ignoring blatant intersexism, never calling it out
  • Calling bills/laws or other issues which directly impact intersex people "trans bills" instead of "trans and intersex bills", such as the recent Kansas bill directly targeting intersex people being called a "trans bill" - making these bills aiming to exterminate intersex people solely about trans people and ignoring the bills' direct attack on intersex people
  • When these issues are brought up, saying that intersex people are "just caught in the crossfire/unfortunately affected by mistake but not intentionally, it's about trans people not intersex people"
  • Saying that intersex people are not LGBT/queer (Not all intersex people identify as queer, but we have always been part of queer community and should not be pushed out)
  • Reducing intersex people down to a statistic
  • Common misinformation, such as saying that being intersex means "being born with both parts"
  • Using afab and amab as equal to "perisex female" and "perisex male", ex. Talking as if all afabs are born with the same hormonal, genetic, or reproductive profiles

Hey there. I'm a queer and disabled writer who can't work, and I need some help putting money together for July bills and groceries and pet food and, you know, life. I got a bit ahead last month and so I've managed to get a little ahead on July, which is cool. If you want to help, my ko-fi is here:

You can tip me via my posts and I have a venmo under the same username as my tumblr, if you prefer venmo. Every dollar helps, if you've got a buck to spare it really makes a huge difference for me.

Because I got a little ahead last month, I'm at:

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Hey there. I'm a queer and disabled writer who can't work, and I need some help putting money together for July bills and groceries and pet food and, you know, life. I got a bit ahead last month and so I've managed to get a little ahead on July, which is cool. If you want to help, my ko-fi is here:

You can tip me via my posts and I have a venmo under the same username as my tumblr, if you prefer venmo. Every dollar helps, if you've got a buck to spare it really makes a huge difference for me.

Because I got a little ahead last month, I'm at:

200/700

205/700

217/700

227/700

237/700

250/700

255/700

262/700

272/700

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

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Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

I am in love with you /p

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

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The Supervillain Wrangler definitely needs to be on this list.

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Every time I see a post or an article or a YouTube video or what have you that's like "this game was announced all the way back in 2021, and now it's 2023 and it's not out yet – What Went Wrong?" I have to wonder how the author thinks game development works.

hey now that it’s disability pride month can you please remember to include people with Down syndrome and other chromosomal defects into your activism. they’re so often left behind. I literally never see anyone spreading Down syndrome awareness that isn’t close family of someone with Down syndrome. They exist and they’re living breathing humans who deserve just as much activism as every other disabled person