misery personified

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hi im spencer I'm poor as fuck and I got kicked out of my moms house a year ago. I moved into a cheap apartment w a roommate when I had a job and then I lost my job and my roommate. Its not been good.

I've been trying to get hired or get unemployment for quite a while now. Im running on empty. Im at an all time low and if I dont figure something out I'll just keep sinking

I have a negative balance of $155 right now. Im running out of food and utilities, I need to buy gas for my car, I have two months of backrent due ($1000 worth...) and I have my ~$200 car insurance payment on the 13th. if you wanna help me unfuck myself its much appreciated

Cashapp: https://cash.app/$ghostcrows

Venmo: @Skee-Vantas

paypal: skeevantas@gmail.com

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I've gotten a lot of help and a few consistent donors in the past and i really do appreciate it. If I wasn't always fucked I wouldn't have to keep doing this lol but I'd be a lot worse off without that help for sure

Any amount/any boosting helps. Thanks again

Current as of 10/09/2020

Ok my car insurance payment is officially overdue and I still have this fucking negative balance please help 💔 i cannot lose my car insurance again its happened before already

My car insurance is $193.57

My negative balance is $-151.25

I should be getting money for groceries soon from a family member and I might finally have qualified for unemployment but until those are sorted out im still in the void here and I really need help

Current as of 10/14/20

Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace

Practice! The more you do it, the easier it gets! If it helps, start small and work your way up

Reads: Andy Ngo is a threat to our community and provides kill lists for Atomwaffen.

FYI: Andy is a provocateur for the Proud Boys and neonazis/the alt right posing as a journalist. He’s best known for getting a milkshaked in Portland, crying about having brain damage, and scamming thousands of dollars of donations from said milkshake incident.

Atomwaffen is a neonazi group

i dont disagree with any of this but that picture was put thru faceapp 

this is the real picture. He’s still scum and a liar but come on yall 

It’s amazing how people who support antifa ignore shedloads of evidence they’re terrorists who attack innocent, but believe a single unsourced photo.

Also, smiling after being milkshaked wouldn’t actually prove it was fake, since even antifa doesn’t deny they milkshake people (or assaulted Ngo), and people can still smile after being assaulted. And it doesn’t mean the milkshaking didn’t happen before the brain damage.

Oh, and Ngo never claimed he was hit with concrete. The Portland cops said they had reports of concrete in milkshakes, which would be quite in line with antifa’s history of using concealed and chemical weapons.

I haven’t seen anyone who’s been attacked by Anti Facists that weren’t facists, white supremacists or an enabler as yet. From Sriracha Man from Berkeley to Based Stickman to Based Spartan to Andy Ngo to the hammer incident from the summer all I’ve seen is Antifa setting out what’s in their namesake to do which is to provide pushback against creeping facism. And it’s really rich coming from anti-sj about believing unsourced photos, kinda funny in a projection sort of way.

In any case, I did reblog the real picture when the previous poster and anons pointed out my error but if he was smiling after being hit with a concrete milkshake, which according to anti-sjs in the notes, would’ve been a chemical agent and caused chemical burns then yes that smile would’ve been suspect. Being that he’s not showing any signs of getting a chemical burn with the amount of time the milkshake was left on him, it’s clear to show it was a regular vegan coconut milkshake. One cop saying he smelled concrete mix with no proof and the police getting claims is speculation not evidence. But then again the cops backing facists such as the Proud Boys is very typical.

And while I haven’t seen Ngo claiming there was a chemical agent in the mix, his lawyer, the person he hired to represent and speak for for him was certainly trying to go with this angle until she was called out

> I haven’t seen anyone who’s been attacked by Anti Facists that weren’t facists, white supremacists or an enabler as yet.

You know it’s a bad idea to start off claiming Antifa isn’t just attacking fascists, right?

https://www.oregonlive.com/portland/2018/08/he_brought_an_american_flag_to.html

This guy is a progressive Bernie voter and registered Democrat who carried an American flag. He wanted to reclaim that symbol from the far-right.

And frankly, the implication that angry mobs of people have never made a mistake is a bit...improbable. 

Especially when I know about the riots in Boston in 2017. Indian Republican with no known fascist ties or leanings tries to hold a pro-free speech rally, and lots of people try to attack it. In fact, they attacked the cops for obstructing them. Now, I don’t know how much, if any were antifa, but I’m guessing more than a few.

> From Sriracha Man from Berkeley to Based Stickman to Based Spartan to Andy Ngo to the hammer incident from the summer all I’ve seen is Antifa setting out what’s in their namesake to do which is to provide pushback against creeping facism.

Didn’t you say Ngo helped fascists by recording antifa and allowing them to be doxxed? If that would make him an ‘enabler’, wouldn’t anyone who recorded them and distributed the video to the public be an “enabler”?

Also, what exactly did Sricacha Man - the guy who was hit with the bike lock, for the benefit of the audience - say or do that makes you think he’s some kind of fascist or fascist-adjacent?

Or for that matter, this lady in a “MAKE BITCOIN GREAT AGAIN” hat?

Sorry, I wasn’t finished with this post, but it’s saying I can’t edit it from the draft because it was created in the Tumblr app. 

I was going to say that you’re the first person I’ve heard of who said the bikelock victim was a bad guy. Most pro-antifa folks just pretend it didn’t happen.

> In any case, I did reblog the real picture when the previous poster and anons pointed out my error but if he was smiling after being hit with a concrete milkshake, which according to anti-sjs in the notes, would’ve been a chemical agent and caused chemical burns then yes that smile would’ve been suspect. Being that he’s not showing any signs of getting a chemical burn with the amount of time the milkshake was left on him, it’s clear to show it was a regular vegan coconut milkshake. One cop saying he smelled concrete mix with no proof and the police getting claims is speculation not evidence. But then again the cops backing facists such as the Proud Boys is very typical.

How is reporting claims of chemical weaponry and advising caution siding with the far-right guys? That seems like binary thinking.

And, yes, the police reported rumors and reports. And identified them as such. Not Ngo, despite the assertions and implications of many people in the notes.

>And while I haven’t seen Ngo claiming there was a chemical agent in the mix, his lawyer, the person he hired to represent and speak for for him was certainly trying to go with this angle until she was called out

Then the lawyer was confused, and was corrected. There’s no evidence Ngo instructed Dillion to make the claim, and I suspect most of the people claiming he made the claim never saw that tweet.

I specifically said I haven’t seen it. And I know not seeing it doesn’t mean it exists so if those were truly Antifacists, that’s unfortunate.

As for the Indian Republican and Boston Free Speech rally, all bullshit. For starters, the permit is under the name John Medlar, one of the organizers for the rally who is a member of the far right, white nationalist loving Proud Boys. The rally speakers included “American Nationalist” Kyle Chapman, Based Stickman, leader of the Alt-Knights. Proud Boy and former Info Wars staffer Joe Biggs and Dr. Shiva Ayyadurai, the far right anti vaccine inventor of email.

And the Indian Republican? You remember the story but couldn’t remember the name? Didn’t want your followers looking him up? You mean this Indian Republican with no far right leanings?

You mean this dude over here with Matt Colligan aka Millenial Matt who’s hobby is holding up tiki torches in a small town named Charlottesville? You mean him?

You’re saying he had no leanings? Yeah okay, you right, anti facists were probably in that crowd too. I mean it’s not like the Indian Republican had any far right connections or leanings or that one of the original speakers at this event was Holocaust denier, Augustus Sol Invictus, or anything right?

As for the Trump supporter in the Bitcoin hat that got sprayed...I don’t give a fuck. Plenty of right leaning libertarians tend to go openly facist anyway so time will only tell for her.

Nope, I said that Ngo helped facists by editing and and okaying an article for a magazine he worked for at the time. The article, written by a troll, was published on the craniology, racial realist loving magazine, The Quilette.

Idk with Sriracha man. All he was doing was standing there when he was hit with a bike lock. Definitly wasn’t attacking Antifacists using a dumpster as a battering ram. Definitely not acting as a side flank for the Neo Nazi group, Rise Above Movement and acted with them in antagonizing protestors as seen below behind Based Spartan.

Oh look at the Based Spartan right in front of him. Remember when Andy Ngo claimed Antifa was attacking a man who was trying protect his small daughter? Yeah...anyway, why is the bike lock victim with Neo Nazis?

I mean you can simplify it as a binary if the Portland Police lieutenant wasn’t still claiming this a month later with no proof to offer other than such claims and word of mouth.

The lawyer was still pushing that bullshit days later. So no evidence Ngo corrected Dillon either or instructed her to stop in the days after he was milkshaked.

I don’t think we’re going to reconcile our views on this, so I’m going to stop debating now, before I start obsessing.

And by ‘obsessing’ I mean ‘hitting Queue on the post, then thinking of one more thing I want to add three hours later, then scrolling through a few hundred posts in my queue until I find the right one so I can edit it, then Tumblr glitches out and I have to refresh the Queue page and scroll all over again.”

sunsets

@iys

— 1Q84, Haruki Murakami

the older i get the more unnecessary it seems to tell people my business

straight people should have to wear “VISITOR” badges when they go to gay bars