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An Imperfect Perfection

@bitter-ly-sweet

Manny. 23. Scorpio. Taken. Love. Sex. Travel. Country.  Music. Sims. Recovery.
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miadiary
“isn’t it shocking how teasing and some comments in middleschool can lead to a life of battleing an eating disorder?”

- @miadiary

It’s crazy when you stop to think about how many times you’ve thought to yourself, “This is it. I just can’t bear to do it anymore. I’m done.” And yet here you are. You’re still breathing, still living, still fighting for joy, for life, for light, for love. And you are loved. For as much as you may be struggling right now, you’re here. You’re strong as hell. Don’t forget it, kid. 

I really love touching. It doesn’t always have to be in a sexual way, it could be like you sitting next to me and our knees touching a little or you putting your hand on my mine, little things like that mean so much to me and I crave it, all the fucking time, it drives me insane.

I’ve been shy. I’ve been quiet, I’ve kept to myself. Because in a lot of ways, that’s who I am. I can talk about anything as long as I feel like I’m comfortable. If I’m nervous in any way, shape or form, I’m very careful. That’s something that has actually hurt me more than helped me. Because the less I talk, the less people know who I am, the more I sort of hide. I’ve just been afraid of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing or leaving the wrong impression. But what I’ve realized is not leaving an impression at all is worse. It’s even less productive.

Hunter Hayes (via aconacho)

What I’ve learned in 2016 1. Friendship is a matter of convenience. It can be true and beautiful and fun and full of love until she moves to another city for college and finds 10 more people she can ‘connect’ with. 2. You don’t have to pursue a boring degree for a boring job. Yes, your passion is for things that make it harder to fetch money but you have one life. Do you really want to spend it doing something you don’t absolutely love? If you’re passionate about something, no matter what, you will excel, you will thrive. That’s the key to real success. Not some statistics stating the most lucrative jobs and industries. 3. You will exercise. You will drink more water. You will eat healthier. Not because you’re not beautiful the way you are but because your body deserves to be treated better. It literally has carries you around, has your back and actually has your heart from that first moment to your very last. 4. If they are a bitch to others what makes you think they won’t be one to you when the time comes? How people treat others is always a tell tale of how they will treat you. Pay attention. It’s better than feeling like a fool 6 years later. 5. Cook your own meals sometimes. You know just the amount of oil, salt and ingredients you want. You may not be a masterchef but you know what your stomach wants. 6. Surround yourself with happiness, inspiration and positivity and a very major part of that is social media. Who you follow is so important. Social media is supposed to be a happy and safe place for you. Choose the right people and the right works to fill your feeds because eventually those fill your mind and heart. 7. Nature is all healing. It’s the one thing in the beautiful presence of which even the most talkative person like you feels the need to shut up. Nature requires no words. It’s completeness is something to learn from. 8. Your parents live a life apart from being your parents. They have moments you’re not a part of, moments you don’t even know. They have not only had a life before you but also a life with you being there that you don’t know about. That’s okay and that’s not something to be mad about. 9. People will leave you. Always. Some in days, some in months. There are those who take decades and then there are those who never leave in physical form but withdraw all meaning and that’s when you must leave. But just because people leave their stay doesn’t become any less wonderful or important. 10. Sometimes the only person you need at 3 am is yourself. Give yourself mode credit. You can always help yourself. It may just take a little longer and be a little harder but you don’t need another person to help you. You are enough. You are strong. You will never disappoint. 11. Music of all type is necessary. Songs that make you cry and the ones that make you think and then those that make you only want to dance. 12. Draw. Everyone is an artist. And your drawings may look like those of a middle school kid but isn’t your joy just like hers? 13. Read more books. Yes, you’re older now and busier too but ‘busy ’ is an excuse and you know it. Find time for something that saved you. Find time for something that you love. 14. Lipstick is life. People may stare at you and they may get intimidated by certain shades but that’s okay, one smile and they will be at peace. 15. Click more selfies and click them without any shame. If you’re happy, if you look at yourself and feel like capturing that one moment where you feel good about yourself - go fucking ahead. Capture all your happiness, beauty and goofy-ness. But remember, they are for you and not your social media. 16. There’s literally no way you can help someone without helping yourself. And they may give you nothing in return and they may be ungrateful but who cares? They aren’t half the person you are and you can shrug it off and move on but remember unlike you, Karma never forgets. Also, karma is only a bitch if you are. The darkest moment is the very moment before sunrise. It’s a fact. So 2016 may have been your darkest time but that only means the sunlight of happiness and inspiration and love awaits you in 2017.
I need a break, I think, from all the feeling. I need a break from the overwhelmingness that my heart likes to hold whenever I think of what could be, what could have been if I had only made up my mind sooner. I need a break from my own mind, to be completely honest with myself, a break from the overthinking, overworking my tired thoughts. I need a break from the back and forth and the reminding myself that this is good, this is best. I don’t need anything more. At least not right now.

The Final Wave, day 22- I need a break; Crying is Just the Result of too Much of Any Emotion (via candidcoffeestains)

some days i’m linda belcher’s “alriiight”, other days i’m bob’s “oh my god” but most days i’m just tina’s “uhhhhh”

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bepeu-deactivated20171202

sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful