Using tumblr is like living in a low class apartment building. You just get used to the landlord not fixing things, and then someone new moves in and you’re helpfully like “oh yeah don’t drink the tap water, it’s got stuff in it that makes you sick” and then your neighbor you’ve had forever goes “oh they took the stuff out actually” and you’re like “what? when was this?”
“like two years ago”
“you mean i could’ve been drinking the tap water all this time?”
“yeah. they gave us individual mailboxes too finally, you don’t have to dig through the communal bin anymore”
“are you for real right now?? i just redirected my mail, i didnt know”
and the new tennant is like “why did you guys even live here if it was so bad”
“we like it.”
“I kinda miss the communal mail bin tho”
“the perpetually naked guy got evicted though”
“i know, so sad. he was really gross”
“i mean, his cousin streaks through the commons sometimes and knocks on all the doors”
“oh yeah, hate that guy”
New Person: I just saw this weird guy in the lobby in a really creepy anthropomorphic Pikachu costume??????
Old Resident: yeah we have no idea where that guy came from. We’ve left messages with maintenance ‘bout ‘im but-
Other Old Resident: just don’t make eye contact and you should be fine.
“what are these strange markings in the paint?”
“Oh! Thats from the crab infestation!”
“The crab infestation?! Wow, glad they got that under control before I moved in.”
“Oh, no no, it was an intentional infestation.”
“Uh….”
“Yeah, we’re hoping they bring the crabs back next year. A lot of us made friends with those crabs.”
yourpaperpal
No, I’m not joking, he doesnt just look like him, I swear to God neil gaiman lives across the hall.
The apartment building throws holiday parties but not typical parties like for Christmas or Valentine’s day
Knives are decorating the walls for the Ides Of March.
There’s a community movie night held on October 3rd where tenants choose to watch either Mean Girls or binge watch all of Fullmetal Alchemist.
Every single apartment opens their windows and blasts Earth, Wind, and Fire on the 21st of September
November 5th rolls around and the entire building just erupts into inexplicable chaos
“What’s with the floor?”
“Color theory. Don’t worry about it.”
“Why is the cemetery across the street partially dug up?”
“Ah, yeah, there was a problem with grave robbing witches a while back.”
“Why do you do [totally normal thing] this way?” “Oh, [totally confusing and illogical system] is how we’ve always done it. “You think we call it a Hellsite for fun?”
Elmo says five bucks, Zoey says a nickle. Careful who you swear in front of, it may cost ya!
Steph: how did you figure out I was a vigilante?
random kid: well I noticed the similarities between spoiler, the forth robin and one of the batgirls so I found all the photographic evidence I could
random kid: and since they all have different masks I just combined the ‘maskless’ parts of the pictures to create a full face and it was you
Steph:…come with me
…
Steph, kicking open the door: Tim train this one thanks bye-
Tim: what?
random kid: did I just get recruited?
Tim: Steph come back!
Steph, in the distance: just trust me
Tim turned back to the kid: Okay so any idea why she dumped you on me?
Random kid: I figured out that she was Spoiler.
Tim: How?
Same explanation as above.
Tim takes in a deep breath and breathes out: I see.
Random kid: You seem to be about the same built with Red Robin-
Tim: Kid, stop, you're already hired.
Darcy: does this mean I get a promotion? And am I allowed to be a bad influence on them?
Tim: do not-
(Now a sidekick) random kid: Tim there’s a new teenage vigilante, they’re a child of low level villain-
Tim:
Tim: you don’t say
Tim knocks on Steph's door.
Steph open door to see Tim with a shit eating grin
Tim pushes Villain's Kid at Steph: Your turn :)
Meanwhile in bludhaven….
Street kid steals the wheels of Nightwing’s bike
Dick tracks kid down: ……..did you really steal the wheels off of my bike when I was only 2 blocks away
Street kid: yeah what about it asshole
Dick: …….this is karma for me making fun of B isn’t it
…
At one of Jason’s safehouses
Dick: have fun :)
Jason: what
RH Jr(Street kid) holding a kid down as Red Hood comes back from finding a good rooftop to stake out a rival crime lord.
Jason: Watcha got there.
RH jr: I found them lurking around and then they just attacked me
Jason turns to other kid, "What did you do that for?"
Kid execute a move that requires lot of flexibility and a complicated flip to get out of RH jr's hold.
Jason catches them and they can't escape his hold.
Kid starts ranting abt revenge on crime boss who kills his parents by faking an accident and no one is going to stop him from his quest for vengeance.
At the end of rant, Jason knocks kid out and rub his hands together.
Jason: Revenge is sweet.
------
Nightwing comes home to Kid duct taped to the ceiling with a note.
"To: Dickwing
One orphan kid with anger issues and great at flips.
Good luck
- RH :) "
Damian: *comes across a new teen meta vigilante in Gotham*
Damian, delivering the kid to Duke
Duke: uhhhh hi??? What’s going on Damian? Who’s this?
Damian: -tt- I have brought you this meta to train Thomas
Duke: thanks???
YEARS LATER IN GOTHAM,
Duke sitting across a kid riding a ginormous dog, armed with a sword and tried to kill him a few minutes ago.
"So you are telling me that your dad is Damian Al Ghul and you were raised by your assassin mother. You are here now to meet your father and thought that killing one of us would gain his approval."
Kid continues to scowl at him.
Duke: I see it.
-----
Damian opens the door to see Duke.
"What is it, Thomas?"
Duke: Remember how you got me a meta teen to train as my prodigy?
Damian, having a bad feeling: Oh no.
Duke: Congrats, you are a dad!
Pushes the kid and the dog towards Damian.
Duke: Here's your murder slash assassin kid, with a bonus dog :)
Duke:
Cass in the vents, meeting a kid who is the child of the New Commissioner after Gordon retired. They have a homemade costume and currently hacking into building the two are in.
Cass: ....
Kid: Wait. I just want to help.
Cass: Follow
Kid: huh?
-----
Babs, looking at the kid baffled.
Babs: Cass? What?
Cass: Next Oracle :)
Cass exits
Babs, meeting a kid doing everything in their power and with incredible skill to save peoples lives: okay I want a turn, hey kid how do you feel about scary costumes?
The longer I live the more I realize I just wanna be well fed and bottom nude all the time
Ok and???? Was he or was he not our Cunt King
This is my new favorite compliment
Things the Fellowship has argued about
- What name to call Aragorn
- What name to call Gandalf
- What to call their meals. Boromir thinks, if it is eaten at dinnertime, regardless of whether it is the first meal of the day or not, then it is dinner. Sam thinks it isn't proper to call the first meal of the day dinner. Aragorn suggests they combine the two words but now everyone is fighting over whether it should be called breakfast-dinnner or dinner-breakfast. The fight nearly becomes physical
- Whether Legolas or Gimli is winning their daily argument with eachother
- If hobbits are regular sized and everyone else is really big, or if everyone else is regular sized and hobbits are small
- The same as above except with horses and ponies
- If Gimli's beard is real or not. This one started as a joke between Merry and Pippin but then Legolas saw how mad it made Gimli and so continues to bring it up
- Inter-hobbit fighting about whether it is called pot-ae-toes, pot-ah-toes, or taters
- "Can Legolas really talk to trees, or is he just fucking with us?" Aragorn and Gandalf refuse to weigh in on this
- Whether the Ent-draught caused Merry and Pippin to grow or if they just did that on their own. This fight is Pippin vs. Everyone Else
- Whether the non-hobbits of the Fellowship would be Tooks, Brandybucks, or Bagginses. This argument is unintelligible to most of them, although Gandalf has the knowledge to be offended when Pippin suggests he would be a Took.
- "What would happen if someone ate the ring?"
- Fights over whether the elves, the dwarves, or the hobbits tell the story of the reclaiming of Erebor most accurately. Even though Gandalf was there, he just shrugs when anyone asks him
- Which variety of pipeweed is the best kind. Merry threatened Gimli to a duel over this one
- Who gets next watch
I would like your thoughts on magical stimming
Been having thoughts about stimming in the Isles (since everyone is some form of neuro divergent) and how magic would change stimming there are some thoughts
Dopp it's us, it's the stim behaviors @dopp-likes-yanderes
Bard
- Touching an instrument's plastic, wood, or strings, stimming with touch as well as sound
- Playing different songs to change your mood. Different genres being associated with causing different emotions
- Pulling strings on various instruments to do simple spells like levitation using sound manipulation
- Plucking strings and focusing that energy to shatter or blast objects. Controlling the intensity of the magic with your emotions or letting it go wild
- Humming or tapping to create strong vibrations or colorful sound waves.
Beast Keeping
- Stimming on the fur, scales, or skin of various beasts. Having them cuddled around you or sitting near you as you touch them to calm down or when your excited
- Various sizes of beasts so some of the animals are the size of your hand while others are twice or more your size. Being surrounded in a fur hug or having a bracelet of scales. Large or small amounts of stimulation
- Stimming by taking care of beasts. Trimming nails, helping shed scales, filing horns, and brushing teeth. Brushing out tangled fur, braiding hair, and washing scales
Potions
- Cutting, smashing, and stirring ingredients to create and make potions and exlisirs
- Making potion creations that bubble, fizz, sparkle, swirl, or steam with no real purpose.
- Swirling cyclones of colors, bubbling concoctions, steam or fog escaping long funnels. Fun aesthetic potions but useless.
- Various temperatures to feel through glass, and weird textures. Semi liquids/solids to stir and pour
- Clicking empty potion bottles together and feeling the glass, holding potion ingredients in your hands before you chop or smash them
Plants
- The various smells as you walk into the greenhouse. Being able to chose what flower you smell if any
- Feeling petals and leaves Inbetween your fingers, wearing heavy leather gloves and listening to the crunch of leaves as you shift plant matter
- Pulling, plucking, and weeding the plants. Sharp or gentle motions as you go slow or in a frenzy depending on your mood
- Dipping your hands into the dry dirt or getting them muddy. Sitting back and slowing down to hear the plants talk. The wind rustles the leaves, the branches creak, the trees and bushes whisper if you close your eyes to listen
- Poking thorns and scratchy branches. Good and bad feelings that you can pick from
Illusions
- Creating realistic or dream like scenarios with small illusions, having the tiny beings dance and move around. Using this technique to bring book characters and t.v shows to life
- Manipulating light and sound to make little fireworks or a fun light show. Pops of light and color that are controlled by a flick of the wrist or a swirl of the arm
- Creating clothes or special outfits for fun, making elaborate costumes and makeup for show. Shimmery clothing and costumes along with creative makeup.
- Projecting memories like a movie, deciding to change something to make it more fun or bearable. Projecting or taking away light to have a shadow puppet show.
Healing
- Practicing Stitches/Sleep Spells on rubber dummies. Feeling the fake skin and experimenting with hypothetical medical procedures
- Smelling different medicines and elixirs. Rubbing essential oils into your skin before a shift
- Drumming your fingers against medical trays, snapping rubber gloves, feeling cotton balls, stirring tongue compressors, squeezing rubber bands, and listening to your own heart with the doctors stethoscope
- Scrubbing medical equipment and sterilizing medical tools. Feeling the warm steam, touching the hot glass, and smelling the clean air
- The buzz of an energy spell going through you, the light tingling of a healing spell fixing what's wrong
Oracle
- Picking words to see small glimpses into the future, said words being a trigger of sorts
- Rubbing your fingers against tarot cards, listening and feeling the cards shuffle as you move the deck around
- Smelling incense smoke and lighting candles. Feeling candle wax drip on your fingers, cracking and uncracking wax. Making the flames and smoke change colors with your magic
- Intense shivering from a nearby ghost or stepping into cold or warm spots
- Levitating or moving things telekinetically or having telepathic conversations with friends. Reading other people's thoughts and moving objects when you're bored
Abominations
- Abomination goop is basically slime.
- Using abomination goop as an almost sentient squish ball. The ball reacting to your emotions/the motions you use
- Similar to Oobleck it's a non-newtonian fluid which means it can become solid or liquid. You can let it settle as a solid or squeeze it into a liquid
- Stirring, patting, pressing, chopping, and tapping Abomination goop to squish and move it in different ways. Twirling your finger to change it's shape or size
Construction
- Creating small houses and buildings with spare materials. Making machines or other things to pass the time
- Racing with friends to build something faster, magic helping you come up with creative solutions as you try and win with unorthodox building methods and material
- Tapping wood, playing with parts, marking and cutting items, messing with tools, and experimenting with various building styles as your Inbetween projects
- Dipping your fingers into mud, concrete, or sand. Feeling various textures and building things with your bare hands. Swinging your tool belt around your waist and feeling the weight of the tools inside as they clank against each other
- Sketching structures and listening to the pencil move across the paper. Blowing eraser and wood shavings away
i really wonder what Julius Caesar would think of a bunch of neurodivergent rats huddled in a circle chanting ides of march ides of march ides of march and then cheering loudly on the 2067th anniversary of his assassination?
like would he cry?
was in london a week ago and i saw a globe theatre production company of macbeth doing their vocal warmups and they were standing on stage and rhythmically shouting FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! at the top of their lungs in perfect unison for thirty seconds. so thats whats going on in the globe theatre these days. just thought yall should know
Shakespeare would be proud tbh
dc literally has better villains than marvel because marvel antagonists are always like “i wear ALL BLACK and THREE PIECE SUITS and i kill people because i’m SAD inside” meanwhile everyone in gotham just be off the shits and have an actual aesthetic and presentation
The villain’s in Gotham are better because no one can out do Bruce Wayne in “i wear ALL BLACK and THREE PIECE SUITS and i beat up people because i’m SAD inside” so they had to come up with something else.
daredevilmutual
this is the only response anyone is allowed to put on this post actually
may i present you
d-hizzle
oh my god two words in that just UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE
gryzio
All hope is lost so quickly I can’t stop laughing.
priscillapricey
danish tv is the best thing ever
unidentified-anon
“Okay :(”
He went straight to Acceptance. He didn’t even go through the five stages of grief. He just started at Acceptance.
eldrake
I can translate for anyone wondering what he’s saying. The dialogue roughly goes something like
“Hopefully the owner of the car behind me will next time consider if-oh shit. Okay.”
thanks for the context omg
Source: youtube.com
its unreal how all of my favorite characters have exactly the same traits and hobbies and diagnoses as me
oh, have you been tricked into loving yourself?
oh my fucking god is that what just happened
stonerscully
ive talked about being too high for things before but this is like. next level
opened the reblog editor to say the mom is obviously Carmen Sandiego but then realized I have zero justification for that whatsoever I’m just going off of vibes
I mean I always shipped Waldo of Where’s Waldo with Carmen Sandiego, and if you combine the respective outfits of both and whatever deranged bullshit Waldo was on, I can see them producing twin Clown Princes of Crime and Corporations.
AND THATS HOW YOU DO A FINALE FOLKS!!
