Biblical…..

Gregor Samsa from The Metamorphosis - Aluminum Foil Sculpture

Who will fuck with me tonight besides my Gregor Samsa from The Metamorphosis - Aluminum Foil Sculpture

that was a classic that was a classic

walgreens spoilers //

holy shit 2 monsters for $5?

John Green and his brother were created as part of a secret government program that aimed to create the world's first youth pastor for atheists

none of u are real ur like tamogatchis to me

can you pick up my poopies

they want me to pay for tumblr premium experience when i get tumblr vip for free

if you want to find love stop using dating apps and go and get brainwashed or possessed so someone has to fight you and tearfully beg you to recognize them and fight against the control you're under because they know this isn't the real you or something

wife is a highway

im gonna ride it all night long

Boobs are something of a stim toy when you really think about it.

fresh asf like a million dollars justfine and dandy

Sips the last of my tea and crushes the ceramic mug against my forehead

TUMBLR PLEASE I WAS TRYING TO SHOW THIS

Two things: 1.) I'm actually crying. 2.) this is what it feels like getting hash browns at McDonald's

Weed strains are like "smells of banana with a slightly nutty note" my brother in christ it smells like weed

dost thou require cocksucking, sire?

Never to be seen again…..