Ladies, a women’s trench coat with EIGHTEEN pockets. Designed specifically so it lies smooth, and looks nice while loaded down with all of your worldly possessions.
Now if only they’d get into making skirts and dresses.
(Via: ThinkGeek)
OOC: I may need to get this for my wife.
They make sweaters (like, cardigans) and hoodies too. All with hella pockets.
SHUT THE FUCK UP
I NEED ONE.
My baby blue
I believe I can fly!!! For more Beagle cuteness visit MJ on his instagram page!
SLAYAGE OF THE CENTURY DAMNNNNNNNNNNNN….
do you guys watch porn and jerk off together?
there ya go
"Please don’t tell Melissa"
i wonder if melissa saw this post
Sometimes I wonder how big my dick would be if I had been born with one
so, here’s something. i found a calculator online to help you figure that out
my penis would have been tiny omg
That is the best thing I've ever seen on tumblr.... 7 inches baby ;)
found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom
i just love the sassy ones
'it doesn't feel good' 'neither does sleeping alone bitch' 'maybe u should try the next size down lol'
'it spoils the mood' 'so does your attitude'
omg lololol
ordering pizza
this is what i do everytime and then last time i did it i got a call from an old chinese man saying “i’m the only one working is it ok if i come”
he got a $20 tip
I wonder if the young girls playing on the trampoline next door know that
gUYS I PUT ON MY COUSINS HOCKEY MASK AND STOOD AT THE WINDOW AND YELLED “STOP YOUR INFERNAL SINGSONG I’M TRYING TO MURDER HERE” AND THEY SCREAMED AND TRIED TO RUN AWAY AND ONE FELL OVER AND STARTED CRYING
#DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME IM NOT OVER THIs
friendly reminder that when the actor who played khal drogo met the actress who plays daenerys he shouted “WIFEY!” and tackled her
Also reminder that during one of the sex scenes they were supposed to film, he came on with a sock puppet on his dick and Emilia Clarke was laughing so hard they had to take a ten minute break.
My life is
INFINITELY better knowing those tidbits of information
at the Q&A panel I went to with him he said before every sex scene with her he would go “I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY” before getting into character and going at it
these two are everything
Reblogging again because oh my fucking god why
“If a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know?”
lol yes, so then i can shave.
One minute, 37 seconds. My legs are shaking. Holy cow, there is no way I can do this. None. One minute, 29 secods. I glance around at the faces surrounding the room. Of course my Meeting would take place in the gross, overcrowded cafeteria. One minute, six seconds. Somewhere within these four walls, someone has the exact same countdown on their wrist. They’re going through the exact same pressure as me. 54 seconds. Mom said I should be excited, not nervous. Yet I still find myself wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. I can’t believe she talked me into wearing a dress. I mean, shouldn’t my Soul Mate meet me as I normally am? All plain jeans, blah shirts, and wild brown curls? 30 seconds. Something deep within me tells me to stand up. I do, drawing the attention of my tablemates. They all know too. They smile encouragingly up at me. I chew my lip nervously. 25 seconds. That same feeling pulls me towards the center of the room. My stomach drops away from me as I take a step in that direction. 20 seconds. I continue in that direction. With each step the tempo of my heart picks up. 19. Faster. 18. Quicker. 17. More rapid. 16. It’s racing. Oh my god this is it. The moment my life changes forever. My eyes search frantically around the cafeteria, searching for someone who looks as nervous as me. For someone who’s heading towards their future with no sense of direction like me. 10 seconds. The feeling directs me slightly to the left. I turn to accomodate. 5. My heart has given up entirely. 4. I stop walking. 3. Just waiting left. 2. Everything is about to change. 1. Deep breath.
0000 d 00 h 00 m 00 s
Someone bumps my shoulder. I twirl around and my gray eyes meet blue, blue ones. “Hello there, love. It appears as though we’re Soul Mates then, eh?” As my words fail me, the only thing I can think is “I’m so glad I shaved this morning.”
“Thats weird…” I checked my wrist, the clock had just hit the 30 second mark but I looked around and there was no one there. I was a worrisome guy overall but I felt justified, I mean today was the day I was meeting my soul mate. Not that I expected my dream girl to be in the storage closet at work but still I was nervous.
Walking out with a box the boss had requested I walked back to my cash register setting it on the shelf. My wrist hit the 20 second mark
19 seconds
18 seconds
Where was she? I could not help but get worried that an error would pop up or that she was gone and my timer would run out with no response. I panicked, I’d change my own fate if I had to. Running out of time I hurried through the back door. There was a park outside and maybe I was supposed to be there to find my soul mate.
10 seconds
9 seconds
A faint ding of the doorbell hit my ear. Wait was that it?? She was here! I turned around running back to the counter. “Don’t worry I’m just in the back!”
I ran out looking at my wrist as it hit zero. Out of breath “Hi I’m Matt!” Sticking out my hand for a handshake it was met by a firm hand. Meeting my soulmate’s eyes for the first time they spoke.
“I’m Steven.” The man gave a smile “It’s nice to meet you.”
I watch my friend carefully. Her excitement is glowing all over her pretty face. Exactly 2 minutes left, she tells me. We’re waiting at the bus stop and the bus is coming in two minutes. I think she hoped she’d meet them on a beach at sunset or something. ”I mean that’s ok - these things can’t always be romantic I mean my mum met dad when he was working at the book store and it’s not like you can plan it to be romantic I just hoped, I mean everyone hopes don’t they-” she breaks off, looking at me awkwardly. “Sorry. It’s just a big day for me you know.” Yes I do know. You’ve been going on about it for the past year. I smile at her. ”Don’t worry. You nervous? You’ll be ok, you always are,” I grin, determined not to ruin this for her. It’s selfish of me to be moody. This is her future being determined. Right here. In now, precisely 1 minute 30 seconds. She smiles at me, but it isn’t quite reaching her eyes. She’s restless and keeps tapping her foot. Her eyes are wide with.. fear? Excitement? Nerves? Probably all of them and a thousand more things I can’t imagine. She keeps checking her wrist. So do I. The bus comes around the corner. 1 minute 10 seconds. ”Hey. I’ll leave you alone now ok? The bus is here. I’ll sit a couple of seats away, and be there if you need me,” I say, squeezing her arm reassuringly. “Good luck.” I hope it sounded sincere. The bus pulls up and I climb on first, taking a quick glance at her while I give the driver my ticket. She’s shaking and looks a little green. I want to give her a hug but know I shouldn’t interrupt now. I look at the passengers and it’s full of pensioners. My heart starts beating frantically. What? I can’t see anyone else at the bus stop. But she’s only 18, she can’t end up with a 80 year old. I turn around and look at her - she’s breathing hard. The bus driver asks if she’s ok but she ignores him. Her eyebrows are creased and her face is flushed. Oh. Oh no. Stay calm. Someone is probably late. I give her a thumbs up and try to smile reassuringly. I think it’s more of a grimace. I take a seat near the back. Look at my watch. 25 seconds. She sits down a few seats away.
Suddenly a dark shape runs past my window and a boy jumps on the bus. He has that same frantic look in his eyes. I breathe out with relief. ”Yeah get on, we’re running late,” the driver says, taking his ticket. The boy looks around, carefully stepping towards the seats. He’s tall and handsome, holding a sketchbook. I smile slightly; my friend hates art. 4 seconds He spots her. 3 seconds His eyes widen as he walks closer, as if being pulled by an invisible rope. 2 seconds My friend stands up too, that same rope tying her to him. 1 second - ”I was worried the bus would leave. No way could I miss meeting my soul mate!” he jokes, though he looks just as nervous as she. They smile at each other as they both sit down together. I can’t hear what they’re talking about.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Suddenly I’m crying. Hot tears dropping down my cheeks.
I look at my wrist, scratching at it. Trying to get rid of it.
The numbers have never changed.
They’ve always been at 0.
Oh my god that last one…. My heart… The feels….
AGH ALL OF YOU WRITE A BOOK THIS VERY INSTANT. PLEASE.
this is beautiful and everyone needs to read it
i hate you tumblr, fucking breaking my goddamn heart
Then, one day, you’re having dinner with a friend you’ve known for as long as you can remember (or perhaps a friend of the family), and you finally talk to them about your counter. You’re crying, explaining that it’s always been at 0, and so you must not have a soul-mate.
Their eyes widen. Tears begin to form, and they throw their arms around you.
"Mine has always been at 0 too."
And that’s when you know…
10 seconds: the doorbell rings, i get out of my chair 5 seconds: i give the man my money 0 seconds: i open the box. it is the most glorious pizza i have ever seen in my life.
This post always has different stories on it and I always have to read it and reblog it
Too funny not to reblog
this is almost every single possible reaction omf
EVERY SINGLE FUCKING YEAR
but can we talk about the lady in the fourth gif whose startle response is to drop into a fighting stance
I wanna know her backstory.
Painted my graduation cap, ready for commencement tomorrow! Cheers MIT class of 2014 :)
I don’t even like Peter Pan and this is pretty legit
who the fuck doesn’t like peter pan
Captain Hook
10 Dads Winning at Fatherhood… LMAO!!!
This is fucking adorable.
Me as a dad
END OF THE SEMESTER BE LIKE “you have to write 6 papers, work on 5 projects with 5 different groups, draw yourself with coal using your feet, sculpt david bowie’s naked body on a marble stone with a fork, learn how to time travel, bring elvis back to life, give birth to jesus christ, and another extra paper because why not!”
THIS IS THE CUTEST MOTHER FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN
IT’S A TEENY TINY BOY IN A TEENY TINY TRUCK EEEEEEEEE!!!
