Tumblr Code.

This is an absolute tumblr relic. I feel like an archaeologist right now. This is incredible that this is on my dash.

date of origin: 2nd of july, 2012.

Is it bad that every time I see your rock band fic update I am reminded of this?

I put this napkin on Bean as a joke but he hasn’t moved out from under it and it’s been about 20 minutes, so….

mother has given me a blanket it is a most joyous day

It's Always Been A Horse

Player: “Is it a ox? Is an ox still pulling the wagon?”

DM: [leans toward camera] “Now that you’ve turned around, you see a large, strong Clydesdale horse pulling the fortune teller’s wagon.”

Player: "It wasn’t a horse! It was an ox!“

DM: "It was always a horse. It always has been a horse.”

Player: “Can I cast speak with animals?”

DM: “You cannot cast speak with animals on something that’s not an animal.”

Horse: “I’ve always been a horse, child. Call me Mephistopheles.”

[collective screams from party]

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

We’ll find you Amanda.

this has almost 11 million notes what is this

I’ve never seen this post once in 10 years on this site

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

I’ve never even heard of this before tho??? Wtf??????????

oh my god, I didn’t think there were any surviving versions of this post left

For those who weren’t around in the Deep Lore times, this is one of the relics of the editable post era. This post has THE SINGLE HIGHEST NOTES of ANY post on this site, bar none, but with more than a dozen variations. Every single post you’ve ever seen with more than 3 million notes has been a different version of this one.

This is the “Dean’s Gym Shorts” post. This is the Flubber post. This is the original “Reblog if you support gay people” post. it was ALL of them. before half the site got nuked, it had even more notes than it has now - at one point, well over 15 million, and that was years ago.

This, with no exaggeration, is the ONE TRUE heritage post

Chapter 2:

average marvel movies fan

Average American Liberal

"is this worker strike going to cause me unrest and discomfort as the labor i take for granted and do not respect is not being performed?"

update: 

Omg yall, it’s April, which means that one month from today

#do u ever see shit like this and realize#that in the real world#this has literally no meaning#but seven thousand people on this website saw it#understood it#and then shared it with others#sometimes it just hits me (via literallyfuckeveryone)

Transcript:

I’m about to expose the men. Whenever you ask a man’s height, he’ll add an inch. So if he’s 6 foot, he’ll say he’s 6’1 and if he’s 6’2, he’ll say he’s 6’3.

Not me though. I subtract 4. I say I’m 5’9. Especially when there’s other men in the room. And then I just watch them panic. Not only have you exposed his lie, but now he thinks he’s 5’3.

What I do is not a crime, but it should be.

romanticizing your life is such a powerful tool and it’s a shame that it’s mostly used by people on tiktok to justify the purchase of expensive breakfast smoothies when there are few better ways to force oneself through unpleasant shit than imagining a cinematic backstory for your extremely quotidian suffering

finding the strength to walk home from the library at 3am in the freezing rain by imagining yourself as a Napoleonic soldier hightailing it from Moscow in 1813