Reblogged cinematech
stupid leftists and their belief in *checks notes* the intrinsic value of human life
Reblogged kimpossibooty
I lost it at “sustenance time” and “fair” 😂
Reblogged weareinquisitor
Half of Soulsborne NPCs: thank the gods you’re here. it’s so good to have met someone trustworthy! You’re a good friend and I’ll help you however I can. Be careful out there! *laughs nervously between sentences*
The Other Half: Fuck you. I hate you. You’re going to die, ok? Everyone’s doomed. You’re hopeless and you’re going to fail. You fuckin suck, ok? Get away from me. What are you gonna do? Gonna cry?? Piss your pants maybe??? *laughs ominously between sentences*
Reblogged favoredsouls
being married to an elf would suck bc they’d just be like “i wrote a short ballad on the subject of our love. would you like to hear it?” *proceeds to sing for the next 12 hours without pause because that’s what’s considered brief by elf standards* and being married to a dwarf would suck bc they’d be like *spends 36 hours carving a pattern into a single face of a hammer they’re working on because you “can’t rush art” and forgets that you even exist until you’re forced to come down and persuade them to return to the surface to take a nap before they collapse of exhaustion* so you really can’t win
barduils
you’re too smart to be following me
barduils
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42,000 matches .
okagami
when it all turned black with only a little fire on the side it looked like a hole burning into reality
Okay, D&D side of tumblr: stat this up as something. What is it?
Flaming Void
Challenge Rating: 15
Large Outsider, Neutral Evil
Armor Class: 18
Hit Points: 180 (19d10+76)
Speed: 0 ft., fly 20 ft. (hover)
Saving Throws: Int +7, Wis +9, Cha +8
Immunities: Fire, Poison, Fear, Prone
Senses: darkvision 120 ft.
Languages: Deep Speech, Undercommon
Abilities:
- Fireball - 15d6 on a failed save, half as much on successful
- Firewall - Area effect impacting all adjacent squares to the void, 4d6 no save
- Despair - Once per round, characters that can see the Void must make a Charisma saving throw, or else become frightened.
The Darksign signifies an accursed Undead. Those branded with it are reborn after death, but will one day lose their mind and go Hollow.
Reblogged swordwitch
sounddesignerjeans-deactivated2
hot take maybe but spinach is superior to lettuce in basically every conceivable way
Reblogged saphire-rose88
Update: Sauron is not afraid of hobbits. He was unaware that hobbits existed up until very recently. he literally did not have time to be afraid of them, they went from a 0 to 100 threat level in twenty seconds. There he was, minding his own business worrying about the usual Elves and Men when suddenly these kids are on his lawn and now he’s dead, like just;
What did— who–
did I just get one-shotted by an infant how is this occurring
defniel
Honestly I have to love this whole thought process that the Fellowship must have cultivated in Sauron, like…
“These children have found the Ring! But they’re taking it to the elves, of course. I will simply have to catch them on the way.”
“Well, the elves are still not to be trifled with, it seems. It looks as though they have a group of intrepid heroes, how cute! Wait, who’s leading them? Aw, hell.”
“OKAY! Olorin’s out of the way, and now I can finally kill them all and reclaim the- OH DAMMIT, IT’S IN LOTHLORIEN.”
“Well, okay. They’ve taken it onward. Curunir says one of the halflings is still carrying the ring, so he’s going to capture them and we’ll see how this develops. Thankfully Olorin’s still out of the picture and their little group just shattered into pieces, so that’s one less thing to worry about.”
“Aaaaaand Curunir shat the bed. Excellent. Trees, who would have thought? Okay, so we’re back to plan A: conquer Gondor, because if the Ring’s going to be anywhere, it’ll be there.”
“Wait, who’s on the– Isildur’s WHAT? Ohhhh. Ohohoho. Oh now everything makes sense. Isildur’s Heir is back, and he’s here being all prideful again. That’s fine. Really. I’ll just crush him and his kingdom, and then nobody can stop me!”
“WHAT? FUCKING WHAT? THEY SENT HIM BACK? Ugh, alright, alright, I’m cool, I’m fine. He’s still got that stupid wizard costume on, and I’m still stronger than he ever was. It’s not like he can come toe to toe with me, even if he does have an army behind him. This’ll be fine.”
“They’re… actually marching on the Black Gate? Sweet lord, I didn’t think they’d actually do it! This is perfect, everyone’s right here! Olorin, the human princeling, most of the remaining fighting forces of Men, all I have to do is kill them now and– Wait. Someone just put on the Ring. Someone just– That’s a halfling. They’re inside the mouNTAIN OH GOD NAZGUL GO GO G–”
…aaaaaand curtain.
you can laugh but that is literally what happened
disembodied-doll
This is the single best brief summary I have ever seen of the entire point of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Reblogged
I’ve talked in the past about how older editions of D&D – i.e., mostly 2nd Edition and earlier – have a built-in “endgame” where high-level characters are expected to transition from dungeon crawling to politicking and domain management, but something I don’t think gets nearly enough recognition is how weird some of those endgames are.
High level fighters raise armies – okay, fair enough.
High level wizards build dungeons – well, they’ve gotta come from somewhere, right? (The legacy of this expectation lives on in later editions’ wizard spell lists; if you’ve wondered why so many wizard spells of 6th level and up seem like they’d be more useful for running a dungeon than for looting one, this is why!)
And druids?
Druids get tournament arcs.
Excerpted from the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Revised 2nd Edition Player’s Handbook, pp. 52-53:
At 12th level, the druid character acquires the official title of “druid” (all druid characters below 12th level are officially known as “initiates”). There can be only nine 12th-level druids in any geographic region (as defined by oceans, seas, and mountain ranges; a continent may consist of three or four such regions). A character cannot reach 12th level unless he takes his place as one of the nine druids. This is possible only if there are currently fewer than nine druids in the region, or if the character defeats one of the druids in magical or hand-to-hand combat, thereby assuming the defeated druid’s position. If such combat is not mortal, the loser drops experience points so that he has exactly 200 000 remaining – just enough to be 11th level.
The precise details of each combat are worked out between the two combatants in advance. The combat can be magical, nonmagical, or a mixture of both. It can be fought to the death, until only one character is conscious, until a predetermined number of hit points is lost, or even until the first blow is landed, although in this case both players would have to be supremely confident of their abilities. Whatever can be agreed upon between the characters is legitimate, as long as there is some element of skill and risk.
[further discussion of the administrative structure of ranking druids is omitted for brevity]
Only three archdruids (13th level) can operate in a geographic region. To become an archdruid, a 12th-level druid must defeat one of the reigning archdruids or advance into a vacant position. […] The Great Druid (14th level) is unique in his region. He, too, won his position from the previous great druid. […] The ascendance of a new Great Druid usually sets off shock waves of turmoil and chaos through the druidical hierarchy. The advancement of an archdruid creates an opening that is fiercely contested by the druids, and the advancement of a druid creates an opening in their ranks.
Like, this isn’t setting-specific material – it’s baked right into the class writeup. The game has a built-in assumption that all druid players will at some point get sucked into a tournament arc to determine who gets to be Druid Pope.
Reblogged probablybadrpgideas
Consider: a warlock whose patron is patreon. A crowdfunded warlock. Every magic being whos interested in bankrolling the shitshow can add a little to the pile.
They’ve got a little milestone list and reward tiers and everything. For just one invocation a month this warlock will literally murder one person of your choosing on every full moon. That’s a bargain!
Gods, fiends, fey, and beings from beyond all welcome to donate today!
dnd-apothecary
@dungeonmastersconsortium quick question about my warlock–
Reblogged normal-horoscopes
caprisunsport-deactivated202010
Reblogged
Art by 周 亮
Reblogged saphire-rose88
twitch-eaglehart
Imagine doing this in front of a 14th century peasant
kyleraynxr
this is literally the funniest comment this video could have
Reblogged cinematech
Reblogged cinematech
Reblogged dndmusings
all my d&d obsessed brain can see is Eldritch Blast babey
Reblogged kimpossibooty
i just had the funniest experience in vr chat, i joined a random server and the one i joined had Japanese people so i waddled around in my goofy club penguin avatar that i have saved, after a while a guy walks up to me and clones my avatar so were both penguins then another guy shows up and clone my avatar
now keep in mind there only speaking Japanese i don’t know what they are saying, then another guy joins in, so i got a group of three penguin friends
we just waddle around and goof about, the one of them tries to talk to me, but not only do i not have a mic i also don’t speak Japanese, they figure out i don’t speak Japanese and start listing various places, they get the part of being European right, and after listing a lot of places they ask if im from the UK and when i nod they all just start cheering. after hanging out for a while one of them gets real close to me and whispers…
“penguin brothers forever”
Reblogged
A group of children broke into a radio station in Western Australia’s remote Kimberley region and put themselves live on air for an impromptu late-night show full of swearing.
The first police knew of it was a phone call from a listener, concerned at swear words being broadcast.
Station manager Angie Stahl says she had previously given the children lessons in community radio, and they worked out how to make the studio go live.
“But unfortunately their show mainly involved swearing, which was a bit punk, a bit avant-garde, but also breaches the broadcasting laws, and our codes of practice.
“So the cops got a call from an outlaying station ringing up to say, ‘I think you’ve got some kids on the radio, they’re busy swearing, you’d better go bust them’.”
Ms Stahl said the children appear to have entered through a window in her house, which adjoins the studios.
While in the house they ate some chicken nuggets and dyed their hair.
Not long after going on-air with their expletive-ridden jokes, police officers arrived to put a stop to the radio broadcast.
Ms Stahl said the children may have a future in broadcasting.
“They’d come in a couple of times before to do a couple of shows and programs, so I’d taught them the basics,” she said.
“So it’s good to see the knowledge was used correctly.”
“While in the house they ate some chicken nuggets and dyed their hair”
“A bit punk”
Amazing.
Got plans for Saturday night? I have a killer idea for a radio show….
Reblogged kimpossibooty
A get-rich slow scheme
$10 in quarters for $9.80 with free shipping.
Reblogged cinematech
remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp
vorrible
mockingborb