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@birdwatchy-standaround / birdwatchy-standaround.tumblr.com

call me spex || lapsed classicist, currently tutoring, always up to something. feel free to say hi!
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about

  • call me spex!
  • i love it when there’s a Spooky Thing going on
  • also i love it when the primary texts kiss
  • sometimes there's also dinosaurs and prehistoric beasties here

this is essentially a classics + arts + humanities blog which serves as my outlet, since my day job is completely unrelated. “off-topic” posts are tagged with #avspices. i tag inconsistently

things i like to post about are:

  • #tagamemnon: general classics tag
  • #massive continuity of ducks: people have always been people
  • #museum tag: sometimes museums have cool stuff, and i like to share it
  • #jawnposting: i live in philadelphia and sometimes like to talk about it

come and say hi! ask me anything about ancient rome (especially pompeii graffitti, ancient roman cuisine, and pliny’s letters). also my capstone thesis was on different depictions of the cyclops in ancient lit so i could go on for Awhile on that.

this blog is not free from mature (18+) content and themes. if you are a minor, please understand this before following. that said, if you need me to tag something, i’m happy to.

(if you do not embrace and affirm queer and trans people - leave. i will not entertain your bigotry.)

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froody

every prehistoric human reconstruction has me thinking “I want to smoke weed with this bitch”

she looks like she would have been an awesome neighbor, like she would have loved menthols and called me baby

“a Cheeto could have killed a Victorian child” but the opposite. Neanderthals would have loved to go to Hardee’s and get a burger with me.

neanderthals would have walked hand in hand with me into hell (buccees opening day)

When I saw this article two years ago and found out Neanderthals were seasoning their food 70,000 years ago, I teared up thinking about how they never got to try things like beef jerky and Doritos.

Well, on that last part, pretty much every culture that eats meat dries it, so they probably ate a lot of jerky, even some of it beef, if you'd call the meat of an aurochs 'beef.' And they would have been eating a lot of meat, too.

The neanderthal neighbor would be very eager to go to Hardee's, as their caloric needs (4,480 per day, about 150% more than a modern homo sapiens) would be far more in line with modern fast food than ours are.

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Time transfixed via Rene Magritte

Size: 146x97 cm Medium: oil, canvas

dumb ass accidentally painted a train instead of a fire

rene magritte has talent but this is a rookie mistake

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My Biggest and Most Annoying Fictional Horse Pet Peeve

Big Horses are a Very New Thing and they Likely Didn’t Exist in your Historical and/or Fantasy Settings.

You’ve all seen it in every historical piece of media ever produced. Contrary to popular belief, a big black horse with long legs and long flowing mane is not a widespread or even a particularly old type of horse.

THIS IS NOT A MEDIEVAL THING. THIS IS NOT EVEN A BAROQUE THING. THIS IS A NINETEENTH CENTURY CITY CARRIAGE HORSE.

All the love to fancy Friesian horses, but your Roman general or Medieval country heroine just really couldn’t, wouldn’t, and for the sake of my mental health shouldn’t have ridden one either.

Big warmblood horses are a Western European and British invention that started popping up somewhere around 1700s when agriculture and warfare changed, and when rich folks wanted Bigger Faster Stronger Thinner race horses. The modern warmblood and the big continental draught both had their first real rise to fame in the 1800s when people started driving Fancy Carriages everywhere, and having the Fanciest Carriage started to mean having the Tallest and Thinnest Horses in the town.

Before mechanised weaponry and heavy artillery all horses used to be small and hardy easy-feeders. Kinda like a donkey but easier to steer and with a back that’s not as nasty and straight to sit on.

SOME REAL MEDIEVAL, ROMAN, OTTOMAN, MONGOL, VIKING, GREEK and WHATEVER HISTORICALLY PLAUSIBLE HORSES FOR YOU:

“Primitive”, native breeds all over the globe tend to be only roughly 120-140 cm (12.0 - 13.3 hh) tall at the withers. They all also look a little something like this:

Mongolian native horse (Around 120-130 at the withers, and decendants of the first ever domesticated horses from central Asia. Still virtually unchanged from Chinggis Khan’s cavalry, ancestor to many Chinese, Japanese and Indian horses, and bred for speed racing and surviving outdoors without the help of humans.)

Carpathian native horse / Romanian and Polish Hucul Pony (Around 120-150 at the withers, first mentioned in writing during the 400s as wild mountain ponies, depicted before that in Trajanian Roman sculptures, used by the Austro-Hungarian cavalry in the 19th century)

Middle-Eastern native horse / Caspian Pony (Around 100-130 at the withers, ancestor of the Iranian Asil horse and its decendants, including the famous Arabian and Barb horses, likely been around since Darius I the Great, 5th century BC, and old Persian kings are often depicted riding these midgets)

Baltic Sea native horse / Icelandic, Finnish, Estonian, Gotland and Nordland horses (Around 120-150 at the withers, descendant of Mongolian horses, used by viking traders in 700-900 AD and taken to Iceland. Later used by the Swedish cavalry in the 30 years war and by the Finnish army in the Second World War, nowadays harness racing and draught horses)

Siberian native horse / Yakutian pony (Around 120-140 at the withers, related to Baltic and Mongolian horses and at least as old, as well-adapted to Siberian climate as woolly mammoths once were, the hairiest horse there is, used in draught work and herding)

Mediterranean native horse / Skyros pony, Sardinian Giara, Monterufolino (Around 100-140 at the Withers, used and bred by ancient Greeks for cavalry use, influenced by African and Eastern breeds, further had its own influence on Celtic breeds via Roman Empire, still used by park ranger officers in Italy)

British Isles’ native horse / various “Mountain & Moorland” pony breeds (Around 100-150 at the withers, brought over and mixed by Celts, Romans and Vikings, base for almost every modern sport pony and the deserving main pony of all your British Medieval settings. Some populations still live as feral herds in the British countryside, used as war mounts, draught horses, mine pit ponies, hunting help and race horses)

So hey, now you know!

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slavicafire

I love this so much - and now I know why Tall Lanky Thin horses have a terryfying vibe to them, and the “primitive” native pony-like breeds awake in me only hope and trust.

such valid historical finger-eaters here

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mousemilf

its crazy growing up and realizing how deranged everyone is and how many problems everyone has. in such mundane ways. your waiter at olive garden believes in q anon. the woman doing your x ray just moved in with a guy she met a week ago. your insurance agent is a hoarder. etc.

Are Americans finely realizing they aren't secretly the main character and others are not NPCs and that we are in fact all people?

yeah this was the first time i have ever had this thought and its because im a stupid little yank

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a review from the cispontine end of london bridge, 8th of april 2023

[ID: a photo of a handwritten sticker on a street post. the sticker reads: “onions! a terrific vegetable!” followed by five stars. end ID]

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thoodleoo

when you think about it tho pliny the elder is kind of the funniest guy in the world like. he wrote all these books about natural history that he was wrong about where he confidently claims things like “some animals only have blood during certain parts of the year” and then when mt. vesuvius erupted and destroyed pompeii and herculaneum he said “oh mt vesuvius is exploding? let me go check it out” and then he died

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eredhes

[ID Photos of a small painted clay sculpture of a horse with simplified features with short pointed legs, small rounded tail, and in a standing pose with an arched neck. It is painted to look like prehistoric cave art. Each photo shows a different angle. End ID]

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ugh photoshop finally realized my student license has been invalid for nearly 3 years and now i can't use it anymore >:( looks like it's clip studio ONLY for me >:(((