The crown’s vault holds many blood diamonds and jewels which are often seen draped around the husk of Elizabeth. The current crown, an accumulation of conquest, is made up of 2868 diamonds, 17 sapphires, 11 emeralds, and 269 pearls — the biggest of said diamonds (The Cullinan Diamond) came from South Africa, a colony until 1910, which had a deep history of racism from when under British occupation and later into the apartheid. Another case which comes with a long retirement — a long retirement is a luxury afforded to the monarchies things but not often the working poor — is the Koh-i-Noor Diamond (it has been ‘retired’ since the queen’s mothers death). The diamond stolen from India now rests mockingly atop the former imperial state crown and has not been given back to those to whom it belongs — something successful thieves would be familiar with. In total the crown’s putrid collection is estimated to be worth billions, and the parasite-in-chief flaunts this putridity when she speaks of Britain ‘living in within its means’ before returning to Buckingham Palace (which itself is worth £1billion). For an every increasing many ‘living within means’ actually means hungry children, food banks, and unemployment. The royal families falsely sparkling existence is a putrefied insult to the downtrodden for no amount of diamonds can cover and hide the true face of a “rich glutton who is rotting alive but will not let what is young live on”.
Saw this tweet and had to collect Ryan Gosling’s best PR quotes for Barbie
I dreamed that I was playing mariokart and there was a track that took 3 days to complete and when I somehow managed to get 1st place a popup came onscreen that had a pic of koopa troopa and text that read “congratulations!! you’re gonna have so much sex” and I started laughing so hard I woke up
fun fact! did you know that you can gain extra ‘forbidden time’ by staying up late in the night? but Watch Out
Shit this is great! You can get so much done if you don't sleep!
The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin. They both looked down at the crumpled shape of the Overlord, His Unholy Majesty, in his obsidian armor.
His final spasms had been mesmerizingly acrobatic. The fall down the steps leading up to his iron throne had pretzelled his body quite impressively, both arms folded behind his back and one leg bent at a jaunty angle.
The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin.
"Shit," said the goblin.
"Shit," said the orc.
"We're likely to get blamed for this," the goblin said. She walked over to the head of the glittering mangled heap and started pulling the helmet off.
"It's not our fault," the orc said. "It's hard to help someone choking when they wear two-hundred pounds of spiked armor at all times."
"Yeah, well," the goblin grunted. The helmet came free, and the bald head of the Overlord bounced on the stone with a hollow, coconut noise. "You know how it is in this bloody country - thieves get their heads cut off so they can't think about thieving, and all that." She fished in the Overlord's mouth with a finger and pulled out the obstructing olive on the end of her claw.
She popped it into her mouth and chewed. "What do you reckon they do for a regicide?" she said.
"We should run," the orc said. She had started bouncing her leg. "I hear that there's some places in the Alliance where they just kill you and let you stay dead. That's got to be nicer than what'll happen if we stay here."
The goblin started to nod - and then her gaze fell on the helmet.
It looked like a pineapple designed by a deranged blacksmith. It was all thorns and spikes and hard edges, as though the maker had been very determined to not let pigeons roost on it. The only bits that weren't solid iron were eyeholes. Nobody had ever seen the Overlord's face.
She held up the helmet and squinted from it to the orc. One of the thorns had been bent badly in the fall.
Nobody had ever seen the Overlord's face...
"Right," she muttered. "Right. Could work - or."
The orc had a sudden vision of the immediate future. "No," she said.
"I mean you're about his height-"
"No."
"It would just be for a-"
"Absolutely not."
"Just hear me out," the goblin said. "Outside of this room are two-thousand men and orcs and goblins who are absolutely gonzo about this man, and there's a whole country of them outside of the castle, and at any moment someone's going to walk in that door and see one dead tit in black armor and two unbelievably dead idiots next to him.
"Or." She tossed the helmet up like a basketball to the orc, who fumbled and tried to find somewhere to hold it that wasn't a knife's edge. "We chuck him out the window now, walk out the door in the armor, and ditch the armor as soon as nobody sees us."
The orc had started bouncing her leg again. "They'll know something's up the second I walk out of the room."
"No worries," said the goblin. "Leave that to me."
---
It had been a very strange year for the Empire.
Change had rolled across the land as slow and inevitable as a glacier. Roads and bridges carved the gray, blasted wildlands, and a number of social reforms had made the country a place where you could be miserable, yes, but miserable in comfort and safety, and that was an improvement.
Barely anyone got boiled alive in molten metal, and even if the disgusted sun never rose to light the Empire, at least you had a roof over your head to protect yourself from the acid rain.
this might be a hot take but i think we should still be required to wear masks on airplanes
it’s been long enough i’m making an executive decision that we all need to go reread the tgi fridays infinite mozzarella sticks article
still just as good as i remember it
porn blog dudes be like mydeepestdarkestdesires69420 “here to explore my inner sexuality… enter at your own risk!!!” and it’s just hundreds upon hundreds of black + white ass-grabbing gifs with the occasional slow-mo spank thrown in for good measure
reblog if you think that it is probably morally okay to breathe air
As a bra hater, going braless is always the most comfy.
I support your choice to not support your boobies
official boob post
Water biscuits
This is a spiritual companion to that exclamation point kitty.
A TBH that is humgry or thirsty possibly? 👀
I MADE WAY TOO MANY DGKIDG
ofcourse, appy juice variant dropped
no need to pin two bad bitches against each other its ok <3
“One of my favourite Steve Jobs stories was the time the engineers working on the iPod brought their finished prototype to him in his office. He said it was too big, they needed to make it smaller. They said it was as small as they could make it, it couldn’t be made any smaller. So he took the prototype over to his aquarium and dropped it in. The iPod sank to the bottom, and as it did, tiny little bubbles came out. ‘See those bubbles,’ he asked. ‘They’re air inside the iPod. Make it smaller.’
“Another story about Steve Jobs was when they brought the prototype for the iPad 2 to his office. The engineers told him it was faster than the first iPad. He took it over to his aquarium and dropped it in. ‘Look how slowly it sank,’ he told them. ‘Make it faster.’
“One time a newly hired intern had been sent out to get Steve a sandwich. When she brought it to him, he looked at it. ‘I thought I ordered the beef on rye,’ he asked. She told him it was indeed beef on rye. He took it over to his fish tank and dropped it in. ‘Does that look like beef on rye?’
“He was always dropping things in that fish tank. We couldn’t stop him. We told him he had to stop, he wouldn’t listen. It was full of stuff that shouldn’t be in an aquarium.
“The fish had all died years ago. One had been crushed under an early generation iMac. The others were all poisoned. He didn’t care.
“It got to the point where there was no room for anything in the fish tank. When we emptied it after he died, we found a body in there. We never found out who it was.”
you ever take a uquiz and realize halfway through that you don’t respect the author and their opinion is useless to you
everyone shut up except this person
I haven't the slightest clue what's going on here but I'm a fan of the general unhinged energy