are you a bad enough dude to kiss me with tongue?

i tweeted out “i would bounce on jon hamm’s buttcheeks” earlier and twitter literally quarantined me like i could only see my own tweets

this was my punishment

twitter forcing me to confront my hubris

Team of scientists attempting to create the MALE SHAWTY perish after a fire breaks out in their laboratory, setting off a 1 kiloton explosion

Mewtwo

pros of being a human is that i get to play viddy games. cons is everything else

jeopardy prompt

god i love pussy

call me 9/11 the way bush makes my shit explode

We All Got That Friend Who Think They Can Outwit The Gods And Evade Their Fate

Tf2 should have a pride event

hello. i am dracula. do you have any blood for me.

oive got not one drop of blood to me name on account of selling it all for one shilling and a bowl of gruel terribly sorry mr dracula

dracula voice Thats just about the saddest thing i ever heard get said.

My favorite banned terms on this site are "suicide prevention" and "safe sex"

Fuck nasty and kill yourself inmediately after

Salmon male grindset

as an ace attoney fan saul goodman drives me absolutely insane because like. this man is an ace attoney character. a main ace attorney character.

his name is a play on words. he does all his own investigations. he's a funny silly jokes man who makes things hell for the opposition. he has over the top mannerisms. him and kim take turns being each other's weird little girls. he has an emotionally devastating backstory

by every conceivable metric this guy is like. the guy who bothers you and obstructs your investigations for the whole game before becoming the defendant in the final case.

and yet somehow, instead of ending up in the ace attorney universe, where his shenanigans would be rewarded and he'd learn about the power of friendship, he ends up in like? an actual serious crime drama? where he is constantly under threat of arrest or disbarment for his shenanigans. like rip man you would've loved cross examining the witness' pet parrot

Portrait of a Suspicious Man, 1623

Elf pussy is probably wack as fuck

you know absolutely nothing

Go eat a mystic leaf or sip some dew or something

even a crumb of elf pussy is enough to sustain one for a full week

Me: "If I was writing a sequel to the 2013 animated film "Turbo" I would include a cameo character for Eminem who is a snail named "Slime Shady""

My Guardian Angel: [smiles and adds another thread that connects me directly to god]

children love crawling into small machines

- 18th century factory owners