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Existential Issues And Lots Of Tissues

@bill-nye-i-wanna-die-blog

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dudemarsh

“Your first time seeing this many fireworks?”

“No, but the first time I’m not feeling like running away and screaming when seeing them.”

HAPPY NEW YEAR FELLAS!!🎉🎉

Tony: listen, Pete, I’ve been thinking about your Spiderman gig, and-
Peter: oh God. You want me to give you my suit, don’t you
Tony: no no! the exact opposite, actually
Peter:
Peter: Mr Stark
Peter: I don’t want you to give me your suit
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aru

Tumblr Code.

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”
that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything
I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person
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must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!
Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.
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always reblog tumblr identification

This is an absolute tumblr relic. I feel like an archaeologist right now. This is incredible that this is on my dash.

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squided

this is from an era long passed

reblogging again because this is iMPORTANT

This is where it all began

Maybe we can all find each other!!!

Please REBLOG!!!

REBLOG

OH SHIT

Does anyone still even do this?

It is my goal to find a Tumblr person by the end of this week.

I’d say same but i dont plan on leaving my house

That’s valid. I’m just gonna shout it in public cause in already an embarrassment. So why tf not.

This is such an old post I remember seeing it on Pinterest

Why I want Scarlet Johansan to step on me

-look at her

-d a m n

-she could probably choke me with her thighs and that's hot

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

I'm tired, sleep deprived, and procrastinating. So have a new AU: Circus

  • Thomas is the ringmaster/owner. 
  • Roman is a lion tamer (simply because Patton’s allergic to cats) and the resident daredevil. Full on jumping five hundred feet onto a damp sponge levels of daredevil. 
  • Patton is the animal trainer. Dogs, seals, elephants, you name, he can tame it and love it. Virgil jokes that Patton is secretly a shape-shifter an that’s how he understands animals so much. 
  • Virgil is a trapeze artist. He also does aerial silk dancing and tightrope walking. Because he’s the most flexible, he also stands in as Logan’s assistant. 
  • Logan is a magician. Magic has to be executed flawlessly and has to have some logical train of thought. He gets incredibly frustrated when Remy and Nate mess with his stuff. 
  • “REMY!!!!!” “Nah, gurl, it was Nate this time.” “Wow, thanks for throwing me under the bus, Rem.” “I don’t throw you under a bus; that’s Roman’s job.” 
  • Remy is a hypnotist and has a comedy routine with his brother Christian Nate (Procrastination aka the slo-mo guy) 
  • Picani works part time as the account manager and does marriage counseling on the side. 
  • Talyn and Joan are co-owners with Thomas. Joan helps Thomas with new act ideas while Talyn helps with makeup. 
  • Cause if you have seven disaster gays who are all over the top you need a good makeup artist. Virgil does his own though. 
  • Lionel (Deceit) is a snake charmer, and has a habit left over from childhood where he always says the opposite of what he means. Virgil is the only consistent one that understands him. (yes he was abused) 
  • “Virgil, I am begging: never do my makeup. I hate it when you do it.” “Sure. when do you want me to come over to your car?” 
  • The troop has a train, and therefore, the troop has train cars to live in. 
  • Room mate situation: Logan and Patton, Roman and Virgil, Remy and Nate, Thomas Joan and Talyn, and then Lionel shares with the various reptiles. 
  • Whenever Virgil shows up in his makeup and costume for the show, everyone simply has a “holy crap, I’m gay” moment. Except Nate. He has a delayed reaction. 
  • The troop got really popular because Roman took a video of Virgil dancing to Steven Universe on the tightrope. You know the song. 
  • “You know, I ought to kill you right now, but you try to kill yourself every day.” -Virgil on a daily basis to Roman. 
  • One of the troops most popular acts is an adventure where Roman is a prince, Logan is a wizard, Patton is an elf, and they pick one lucky kid from the audience to help them defeat the evil dragon witches, Virgil and Lionel. 
  • Virgil literally made himself a dragon costume and learned how to breathe fire because he’s almost as ExtraTM as Roman and Logan for that role.
  • He also has a Toothless onesie. 
  • Virgil loves scaring ROman by launching himself off the tightrope and grabbing a trapeze in the nick of time. 
  • “VirGIL HOLY CRAP I’M COMING TO SAVE YOU!!! … I hate you so much right now.”

 That’s it for now. Feel free to add on/draw this AU. 

Headcanon that Every. Single. Sanders Side. Writes fanfiction.

Patton:

~Username: PatDadLovesLove ~Author Bio: “I love my sons (esp. my dark strange son)! Do what’s right. Stay in school. Don’t do drugs (unless they’re prescribed by a professional and then use as directed).” ~Patton generally writes ridiculously emotional fics for whatever ship he’s feeling up for that day. Usually writes one-shots. ~His fluff is teeth-rottingly sweet and any angst he writes will make you weep at three-AM because you just found this fic and it’s so good and it hurts so much but you just. Can’t. Stop. ~Sometimes his fluff and angst are in the same fic, so one chapter you’ll be squealing and giggling and “Aw!”ing, and two chapters later you’re sobbing profusely. ~His three multi-chapter fics are REALLY long because he doesn’t have the heart to finish them. ~(His Frequent Commenter is Virgil. Patton knows but pretends he doesn’t. Virgil leaves long comments. Patton loves it.) ~Takes requests. Will write long one-shots for commenters when they say they’re feeling down.

Virgil:

~Username: Angstiety (made when he was a teen, changed to Vngstiety when he started accepting himself but had enough of a following that he didn’t want to change it so much as to be unrecognizable. Also aesthetic. Might make more changes later.) ~Author Bio: “Whatever. I write whatever shows up in my head.” ~Generally tends to write angst so deep that you’ll feel like your chest has literally become a void. ~Often writes song fics. Usually for angsty songs. Sometimes for cheesy ones. ~Always has profound observations about life, love, friendship, and identity ~Will probably also make you cry ~Has had occasion to write an entire fic in the form of sonnet after sonnet. (Or three. One might have also been an epic free verse poem) ~Writes some fluff. Not as cavity-inducing as Patton’s but there are moments when he comes close. Sometimes uses it to break up long overly-angsty long-form fics to give the readers’ heartaches a break. ~Patton leaves long comments glowing with praise. The others don’t know his account exists. ~Occasionally takes requests. Depends on his mood.

Roman:

~Username: PrinceRoman (obvious, but he likes it) ~Author Bio: “I AM THE GREATEST PRINCE IN ALL THE LAND!” ~Doesn’t really care what genre he’s writing, but usually does wildly creative AU’s. ~KING (or prince?) of self-insert fics ~His fics are of EPIC proportions. That one he wrote for Logan for Christmas? Yeah that one was almost conservatively-lengthed by his standards. ~Usually commits to one or two WIPs till they’re finished, and they. Get. LOOOOONG. ~Will write one-shots on the side when feeling uninspired for his long-forms. ~Sometimes gets troll comments from Virgil, but the troll comments also hold a double entendre of actually being really complimentary (e.g. “This sucks good!” being left on Roman’s vampire!AU fic, quickly followed by a smiley face and a thumbs-up emoji). ~Patton leaves long comments glowing with praise. ~When not writing a self-insert, he writes whatever ship he’s obsessed with at the moment. ~Also takes requests occasionally. A little more frequently than Virgil when one request is just *shakes fist* so creative! Sometimes may take suggestions for what direction his fic should go if he’s stuck.

Logan:

~Username: EthosPathosLogan ~Author Bio: “If you can’t say something right, don’t say anything at all. (And if you say something wrong, apologize immediately and learn from your mistake.)” ~Hoo boy. Logan’s fics. ~Almost as long as Roman’s. Longer than Patton’s and Virgil’s usual lengths. ~Has an expansive vocabulary. ~Perfect formatting. ~Deeply researched. As accurate as possible. ~His descriptions are often a bit too long, too wordy, and a little too detailed, but he wants to be accurate! ~Often cites academic articles (in perfect MLA format) in his author’s notes (or an entire Works Cited chapter at the end) in case anyone wants to learn more. ~His first fic literally read like he was describing the results of a scientific study. He improved from there. ~Doesn’t write romance. Doesn’t write too much emotion at all unless he’s indulging. Prefers to write mystery!AU’s and detective!AU’s. Intricately-woven plot-lines and subtly-placed details. Half of his readers are mildly convinced he’s an Agatha Christie descendent. ~The other half believe he’s actually Sir Arthur Conan Doyle reincarnated given he tends to write almost solely for Sherlock Holmes. ~Once wrote a crossover where Sherlock met Data. Got weirdly popular and he doesn’t know why. ~Patton leaves long comments glowing with praise. ~Doesn’t take requests or suggestions usually.

Deceit:

~Username: SnakesAndLies ~Author Bio: “The cake is a lie. And so is everything else. Including you. And me. And life. Deal with it.” ~Plot? What is plot? ~Canon? Is that a thing? ~Not to Deceit ~Crack fics and crack ships ~Short chapters, short fics, short one-shots ~You can never tell if he’s joking or not when he writes some of these things. Like, seriously, what was that all about? And with that username it’s even harder ~Sometimes he writes really nasty fics—like you can feel the malice coming through your screen. ~You can almost imagine the author has a forked tongue. ~That being said, he does have some clever ways to turn a phrase.

Sleep has an account but doesn’t post anything so no one knows if he writes. He just stays up all night reading. Sometimes he’ll comment at 4AM. When that happens it appears to be key-smashing because he’s too tired to string coherent thoughts together.

So, I went to see a Neil Degrasse Tyson Show Tonight

and as Neil was talking about an extinction that wiped out 90% of living things millions of years ago with an unknown cause. Then some dude just yells:

“THANOS

It took Neil a second to hear him but when he did he was just like

“oh wait nvm we do know now”

and that honestly made my night

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pukicho

Im just a lost child in an overly air-conditioned, metaphorical Walmart of life.

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pukicho

Actually scratch that.

I’m the abandoned half-drunk starbucks coffee in the floormats isle of the overly air-conditioned Walmart of life.

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pukicho

OH MY GOSH what if Tumblr was an Academy, all the fandoms would have their own classes and the teachers were medieval executioners 

Who’s in the bandom class with me?

I’ll join the bandom class…

i’ll as well join the bandom class as well!!

this is the only class i would actually be excellent in

same

Do they have eyeliner lessons I need them

I’m in

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pukicho

I feel like you guys just decided to ignore the medieval executioner part

WHERE CAN I ENROLL

Oh god please imagine classes for all of your favorite shows

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pukicho

What have I done