also literally fucked a man so hard yesterday that today i found pieces of my bed on the floor
I read this too fast and thought it said “pieces of him on the floor”
piplup grain entrapment
piplup cares a lot about his work
piplup reports on the company's finances. layoffs are inevitable.
piplup takes a sick day
piplup considers some jorts
piplup forgives his father.
piplup goes grocery shopping
piplup jumps your battery
piplup lights the menorah
piplup sees the pale blue dot
piplup catsits
piplup hides a zombie bite from you
Alright kitten listen up cause mommy needs your help here okay. Pause the game, ok-PAUSE the game for mommy okay I need your eyes up here, kitten. I'm putting these onions in this pan okay and im gonna walk out the door yes, that's right mommy's gotta go right now mommy's gotta go for 8 hours but she needs these onions caramelized by the time she gets bac-STOP LOOKING AT THE COMPUTER mommy needs you to caramelized these onions for her okay kitten mommy needs all 5 pounds perfectly caramelized and cooked down till they're all evenly brown and sweet and YES it does need to take the whole 8 hours mommy needs you to babysit these fucking carmies okay kitten I SAID TURN THE FUCKING GAME OFF
You can't leave this in the tags
In my mind now this is what king of the hill looks like
they should invent a life that is liveable and a sleep that comes easy and a winter that doesn't feel like decay and a spring that doesn't feel like the past and a head that doesn't hurt and a heart that doesn't sit in your chest like a rock and a body that doesn't hate you and a hometown that doesn't make you lose your mind and a university that won't kill you they should invent a me that is normal I think that would be really neat. ok good night I love you
whenever im out somewhere and i smell weed smell with no obvious source i feel like jay gatsby looking longingly out at the green light across the water
Why is this heat so hot 😩
It’s the heat
Source?
Yeah sorry we put your boyfriend in the corner. Yeah, he’s in the spotlight, losing his religion. Yeah he’s trying to keep up with you :/ oh no I’ve said too much
celebrating Grimace’s birthday at the club we’re getting bottle service
