“You’re about this fat, see?” (via schizoduckie)

Guys there’s a ton of raids and ICE IS ALL OVER Austin and I just don’t wanna be here anymore I wanna go away

For anyone in Austin, there’s a checkpoint on N. Lamar near Rundberg, and one in Decker Ln. So stay away,. There’s video recordings of them having arrested already a few ppl in front of the HEB on north Lamar. My cousin who lives by Sendero Hills on 969 said they raided some of the taco stands there so please stay away!! Apparently they’re knocking door to door in Manor so we’ll see if they knock in mine.

It’s no surprise they’re attacking areas where most of the Latino population is concentrated. Lamar/Runberg Decker Ln East Riverside Cameron Rd

I would say people in those areas should be worried the most. Call your family if they’re out for work and prob tell them to not come home for a while.

Kinda wish i could just clock out of life. Like i want it to just be over

Same 😞 tuh

me: humanity is awful i can’t believe this there is no goodness or love

me: life is ok actually and i have a reason to live

the first astronaut dies on Mars. However instead of Heaven their soul ends up in Mars Heaven.

Darkness… Pressure… I was hopelessly reaching for Earth and then nothing.

Chatter. Music. Voices.

… Voices?

No my oxygen ran out, I was alone and the fumes had suffocated me. How am I thinking this, aren’t I… Aren’t I… Dead? My eyes, I feel them moving though I keep them closed, for I fear what I will awaken to. I was a devout Muslim on Earth, though I wasn’t perfect I tried my best to follow the five pillars. Have my sins been forgiven? Will I see God? Or am I in hell soon to open my eyes to the devil staring at me?

Be brave.

Slowly I blink, my vision blurry at first and now the music and voices are much louder and are not muffled as much.

“Gawdamn boo how long have you been planning to stay sleep? The party has been waiting for you! I even fitted you in a hoe costume.” A woman, dressed as foxy brown, with rich dark chocolate skin and almond shaped eyes says to me.

“You’re… Glowing. Are you my angel?” I ask hesitantly.

“Bitch bye that’s my highlight, but I’m the God of Mars… Ooh this my song I L.O.V.E bad and boujee,” She sasses and starts twerking to the music.

Okay… But wh-

Suddenly my thoughts are shaken by the God of Mars, “By the way this ain’t just heaven, dis be MARS heaven. You still dead, but that’s okay it’s lit here.”

Time goes by, but I wouldn’t know because I doubt time exists here. The God of Mars and I ended up smashing once, she said I wasn’t godly enough and that my sex game was weak. I ended up pregnant, but I went to Planned Godlyhood and got a demonbortion.

You run a tattoo parlor. Every couple of weeks, the same customer comes in, always requesting the same tattoo: an additional tally mark on an ever-growing cluster of tally marks.

“what are you counting”

“how many tattoos i’ve gotten”

“i’m no longer serving you”

You eventually come around though, and continue to tattoo them. One day they want a tattoo that isn’t a tally mark. After you complete it you give them the obligatory tally mark, but you both realize that the tally marks are now incapable of keeping up with the number of tattoos they have. You continue to add tally marks, knowing it’s mathematically hopeless, until their entire body is filled in a single shade. Their plot has failed and you walk away several hundred dollars richer.

The next week the customer you’ve nicknamed linez comes in with a frazzled aura. Though you’re exhausted, your night shift employee has gone missing so you have to do the odd work. Linez now requests that for every tally mark you’ve tattooed etch four more unto their skin. You complete the task and pocket the money plus tip, however a moment later you hear sirens. Officers storm the parlor and tells Linez to put their hands up.

“Dieuson Octave you are under arrest for 50 counts of murder, anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish.”

You stand in shock because not only do you realize you’ve been tattooing Kodak Black, a misogynistic piece of shit, but you have been unknowingly marking his skin for every victim he’s has murdered.

You feel nauseous and go to your office in the back of the parlor. Soon an officer comes to get your statement. “I just don’t understand… How can Kodak Black be a murderer? I mean I’ve heard he’s a pretty shitty person but my gawd,” you say in utter shock.

The officer looks at you in slight confusion, “That’s not really Kodak Black, that’s an Alien who’s posing as Kodak Black. He’s been on Earth for several months but keeps eating animals in the zoo.”

A month later your missing employee returns informing you that they were actually an undercover alien parole officer who was monitoring Linez. It turns out that their partner, A4Fg, had a baby and it was imperative that they returned to their home world.

A note lightly falls on your feet, it reads, “Dear tattoo dudette,

My bad for the police, I just get so hungry and human food is nasty af. Raw meat for the win.

Peace home dog skillet Js7Ld AKA Kodak Black AKA Linezzzzzz”

The woman who eschews femininity, who is content with her natural shape and size and smell, who is impatient with the lengthy rituals of femininity, is condemned by both sexes. To women, she is an uncomfortable reminder of the extent to which they have abandoned themselves to the demands of men. To men, she is a threatening warning that their domination is not total and that women still have the power to regain themselves. 

- Anne Summers, Damned Whores and God’s Police

Taken by @curt-saunders

A Walk Through The Woods

Absolutely the facts! Thank you

Beyonce announcing her pregnancy of two beautiful black babies on the first day of Black History Month.

anyone trying to talk to me today: hi- me: beyonce is pregnant with twins and she iconically announced it on the first day of black history month

Beyonce pregnant? WITH TWINS????

BEST BLACK HISTORY MONTH EVER!!

There’s just under two weeks left to pre-order Princess Princess Ever After at your local comics shop using the code MAY161668! I was so excited, I had to doodle up the girls reading their very own book (Sadie doesn’t understand spoiler warnings).

More info about the book here!

There’s just about a week left to pre-order Princess Princess Ever After! <3 thank you so much to those who have already done so, I really hope you enjoy the book ; w ;

One more day to order your copy!!!!

The Best Cat Tweets of 2016 (see 23 more)