the way people talk about ten and martha's relationship is so narrow minded that it's starting to drive me insane. according to the fandom, either martha is the worst ever or the doctor is the worst ever when neither of those things are true. they're both good people who care about each other but aren't compatible for various reasons.
in season three the doctor is mourning rose. whether you like it or not he was in love with her. and in a sense, to him in that time, she JUST essentially died. i feel like people don't take into consideration how genuinely messed up he was at this time. in the runaway bride he almost killed himself, as we see in turn left: if donna hadn't stopped him he would have drowned. he was not in a good mental place.
martha meets the doctor and quickly develops a crush on him, which is understandable, and him "kissing" her doesn't help. but he is VERY clear with her that the kiss meant nothing, that it was a genetic transfer to protect her and that he was NOT interested in her - or in anyone. he knew he should not be traveling with anyone else at that point, but at the same time he needs companionship to stay sane.
i love martha, i genuinely think she is one of the best companions there is, but she is not very compassionate about the fact that the doctor has lost someone that he clearly loved very much. and ideally he should have been clearer about who rose was to him, but i feel like it's clear that it's obvious.
a lot of people give the doctor shit for "rose would know" comment and i do feel that comment was a hurtful thing to say, but he wasn't being intentionally malicious to martha here. he was just thinking about how rose would know what to say to comfort him because he was in love with her. not because martha isn't smart or capable or anything of that sort. does that make his comment okay? no! but intent matters.
he brings martha to new earth because he's missing rose and he wants to feel close to her in whatever way he can, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that since he had NO romantic intentions or feelings for martha. he made that exceedingly clear- she calls herself a rebound, but that doesn't make her one either.
did martha deserve better? of course. martha is put into many unfair situations, and there are a lot of things i think should have been done differently but the show never denies that the doctor was a dick to her. the show never denies that he hurt her by being too focused on his own grief and generally uncaring.
what makes martha's arc impactful is that it is realistic. i have been martha. a lot of us have! you love someone who doesn't love you the same way so you get hurt along the way. you convince yourself they COULD see you that way if x,y,z but they never do. at which point you have to realize you have to put yourself first and remove yourself from the situation. and that's important, that's powerful, that's part of the human experience.
martha grew as a character, she saved the world, she took her power back and became her best self because and despite what she went through in s3. by acting like she's just a helpless victim you do her character a great disservice by ignoring the person that she became.
and in turn the doctor grew and learned from that experience as well!
the doctor is allowed to be wrong, the companion is allowed to be wrong. sometimes at the same time. what a concept.
