I Can (Not) Explain

Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

john green u nasty and ugly as hell shut the fuck up

sweetie, you are literally so out of line it’s fucking unbelievable. i could drag you so hard right now but i know you’ll just end up crying. i’ve roasted you before and you know it. chances are you’ll just say i bullied you because you’re gay and have different skin. talk shit get hit, you don’t wanna mess with me kiddo; i’ve got a black belt. i know threats are fucked up but that’s all i’ve been receiving all day, probably from her royal hoodrat olive and all of her nasty friends. but you can gang up on me and make fun of me for being goth all you want. i’ve been hurt a lot. my first boyfriend cheated on me, my dad screams if i forget to do my chores, and there are some days i don’t even want to get out of bed in the mornings. i’m a jaded teenage girl. i’ve been through shit that you wouldn’t even dream of. you think your life is hard? try asking the cutest guy in your grade out in the middle of the cafeteria only to find out he has a fucking girlfriend. you don’t know my life or my story so keep my name out of your nasty mouth. life is a battlefield and it looks like i’ve already won.

I should really watch Hifuu Club Activity

tumblr still blows for a lot of reasons don't get too full of yourselves just bc twitter's having another crisis

A pleasant surprise.

When he goes back into the dirt

i can’t believe this little shit has a completely armored back and then sleeps belly up just to dare predators to fuck with it

video description / translation:

an armadillo lays on the ground, covered in dirt, belly up

person recording: "then we think he died... he's just cooling himself in the sand. check it out"

the person touches the armadillos paws a few times until it starts moving them, and quickly rolls to a standing position

person recording: "hey whats up? im disturbing you huh?"

the armadillo looks at the person for a moment, then digs and rolls on the dirt, back to its original position

Hmmmm, opening comments imply he's startled him from sleep mire than once, no wonder he looks so grumby

Man I hope today’s twitter thing is just temporary because otherwise that site is fucking cooked.

Y’all see the shit he pulled today? You can only load like 300-600 tweets a day before Twitter completely locks you out of reading any new posts or making searches for a whole ass like 24hours I guess

Yeah these numbers he’s giving are bogus, I logged into my main acc and maybe scrolled my tl for 3 minutes + clicked on a few different tweets and I was already locked out. I think this is a cap on how many tweets just load for you at a given time in general so if you open a thread with a boatload of comments you just get fucking vaporized instantly

lmfao everyone’s skeddadling onto bluesky so fast their servers are exploding and they had to disable signups. amazing

bluesky also allows hate groups on their platform, sadly...

oh my fucking god they have a racism level switch

beanix posting

the game's commentary is so profound

Webbed Site

I had a dream that Joe Biden addressed the nation wearing a Miko robe like a Shinto priestess. He was also visibly 8 months pregnant. He didn't talk about that until the press asked him about it, to which he replied "I bear the child of a great spirit" as if that was like, something mildly inconvenient like getting stuck in traffic.

Laika how did you make this that fast

Who do you think gave you the dream

"supreme court and twitter rate limit means there will be a revolution" y'all cant even boycott chik fil a

its like everyone just magically wants something to be better while putting zero effort. you wont even work out to get the strength to throw bricks

hey btw i would NOT recommend using Bluesky either...

this is just repeating the cycle again

blood is basically the most normal thing for a sword to hunger for. if a sword gained sentience and started asking me for blood i'd be like yeah i thought you might say that

the saddest thing about life is that tattoos cost many money. oh and traveling? also costs many money. video games? many money. starting a new hobby? usually many money. concerts? so many money and also good luck even getting tickets. going out and getting a fancy beverage? you know the drill.

False killer whale (Pseudorca crassidens)

no way

people with medical issues are not “putting a strain on the medical system”. that’s what the medical system is for. yes this includes people with substance use related medical issues and other people considered “undeserving” of help

if a computergirl was transgender would she go on CRT

component replacement therapy (they are upgrading her GPU (girl processing unit))