Favorite Cards: (5/?)

–> #327 : Ladylike ♪

Photography: PhotozAapki

Beautiful

Who says the shoes can’t be yellow?! Image source unknown. #partystyling #partyplanning #eventdesign #eventplanner #wedding #weddingideas #weddingplanner #weddingphotography #diywedding #beautiful #thepartyatelier #weddingdress #bride #bridalfashion #bride2be #instabride #weddinggown #amazing #lace #fashion #engaged #brides #miamibride #miamiwedding #yellowshoes

August 2013

It’s hard to really hate someone when you shared underwear with them on occasion. It’s hard to hate someone when their mother gave all of you bubble baths and turned the jets on, and then afterwards, you would all bundle up on the couch and eat popcorn and drink juice and watch TV or play Monopoly. We were always playing, so much playing, so much running and laughing and talking and living.

Diane is like my sister, and she always will be. I was there when she got lice in fourth grade. I was there when her mother kicked her out of her house in the winter without shoes—we were the ones who picked her up. I was there when that girl brought cigarettes to her sixth grade birthday party. I was there when she pulled me into the carpeted hallway at school and told me with hushed excitement that she had sex last weekend, and it felt like a lot pressure “down there.” And I was there that one year when Jenna and I were the only ones who came to her birthday party at all, so we tried to eat five boxes of pizzas with her to act like it didn’t matter.

I remember that sleepover when Jenna told Diane matter of factly that she had “a lot” of blackheads and could she please get them. I then watched in extreme disgust as Jenna squeezed black squiggles out of Diane’s cheeks and decided I would make them wash their hands twice afterwards.

And you know the first penis I saw? Diane’s brother’s. It was a mistake. We were little, outside by the creek, and I looked over before he was done peeing, only to quickly turn back away in horror, seeing that my friend had an additional limb sprouting from between his legs and that he must be an alien.

Diane may not be the nicest person I know, and we may not have the most in common, and I may not want to hang out with her much because she is the type of person that makes me feel very alone in this world. She is the type of person who tries to steal your boyfriend. She is the type of person who quotes Bob Marley when I confide in her that I’ve been diagnosed with depression.

She is the type of person who I played with every morning, every evening, every weekend, every free moment until I was about 14. She is the type of person I can never stop loving and never forget. And I realized I was confused because I wasn’t crying out of out happiness for the bride and groom like everyone else. I was crying because my childhood is over. I was crying because my life is memories that I have simply destroyed, relationships I have shattered carelessly, and moments I have run through like they meant nothing when now, I sit here grasping at the roots hanging over the cliff in Death Valley, trying to hoist myself up over the edge of the canyon, and remember how it felt to be a child, running through the woods, laughing and making up some scenario, like the cops were after us, or the cowboys, or we were aliens from another planet.

I will never march through the creek barefoot like I did as a child. I will never swing on an unsafe tire swing that will hurl me down to the slippery rocks where I’ll twist my ankle, but somehow emerge smiling anyway. I will never go trick-or-treating with Diane and Jason and Jenna again and return to Diane’s house to see a cop car parked on the curb because her mother was drinking again or because one of her boyfriends was breaking his restraining order or… It was always a mystery to us. We were like flower buds, but I must have bloomed too early. My petals wilted and died, and now, I’m afraid.

I did love Diane, and a part of me still does. We are not the greatest match of friends, and we turned into two very different people, but I would not be the same person without her and watching her get married felt like watching every memory we had turn into smoke between my fingers… as I ran, ran trying to catch up in Monopoly when I knew the red piece was bad luck anyway, and I was doomed from the start. I am not ready. I am not right.

Something inside me died as she began her new life. We are not children anymore. We can never be children again, and as each person went up onto the stage to make a toast, I watched myself run up there and scream, “How are we supposed to live like this? Everything is gone, and nothing is for certain.” And the wine glass falls out of Jake’s hand, breaks on the dance floor. I stop, I stutter, I come back from my dream and look up from my plate to see everyone is laughing kind-heartedly at his clumsy grasp.

Every memory is shattered into pieces that I can only try to put back together forever. It will be warped, misinterpreted, remembered incorrectly. I will never be on the bus again in kindergarten calling Diane a buck-toothed beaver. I will never be the girl I was sucking honeysuckles in the backyard or running circles around the swing set. I will never catch frogs. I will never wear a side ponytail with Diane to Blockbuster. I will never eat a rice crispy while watching Diane play Club Penguin on her Mom’s laptop all night.

It’s all gone, and here I am, stuck in between childhood and adulthood, in the instant when Jake felt the wine glass slip from his grasp, when he jerks down to grab it, but misses—that feeling of loss, of uncertainty, of desperate hope—the in between, the limbo, the purgatory. The silence before she utters, “I do.”

That is why I cry now, tracing my fingers along the silverware, pretending it’s the most interesting thing in the world, while life spins around me too fast to see, to enjoy, or to believe that any moment is ever enough time to soak up life and really be alive.

and now I have found @danisnotonfire wedding venue…Japan and Llamas..what else could he want?

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Coral And Yellow Beach Wedding outdoor wedding ceremony Source: http://www.weddingchicks.com/2013/04/23/coral-and-yellow-beach-wedding/

Photography: Don Doblados

Delphine Manivet Wedding Dresses

Love this beautiful veil. For more information on Delphine Manivet wedding dresses, click here. Gorgeous wedding dresses by Dephine Manivet.Anselme top with puffy sleeves in Calais lace with silk pleats, low waist skirt in silk organza. Above, Arthur Calais lace dress with illusion flutter sleeves and silk satin under dress. Below,David long sleeve dress with high neck line in Calais lace.Pretty details styled byMerci New York andperfectly captured by Elizabeth Messina.

Brittani Radvia http://ift.tt/1iXGf8D

Brittani Radvia http://ift.tt/1iXGf8D

Brittani Radvia http://ift.tt/1iXGf8D

Brittani Radvia http://ift.tt/1iXGf8D

Brittani Radvia http://ift.tt/1iXGf8D

Brittani Radvia http://ift.tt/1iXGf8D

VIAhttp://ift.tt/1iXGf8D

#Wedding Dresses #designer: Delphine Manivet #elizabeth messina #flower #label: Delphine Manivet #pretty #romantic #veil #year: 2011

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from Delphine Manivet Wedding Dresses

#wedding,#dress,#wedding dresses,#bride,#style,#fashion,#women,#sandals,#shoes,#heels,#highheels,#makeup,#hair,#beauty,#Hollywood,#celebrity

missed these guys so much..!

You can make a cheese cake as your wedding cake!