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Berlynn Wohl

@berlynn-wohl / berlynn-wohl.tumblr.com

Berlynn Wohl is an octopus in a Russian fur hat that sometimes writes fan fiction. My AO3 is here. You can read my smutty original sci-fi books here. I was made in the 80's. Do not follow me if you are under 18. She/her.

NEW FIC! “Perfection Takes Time” (Newt/Hermann, Explicit)

Title: Perfection Takes Time (read on AO3) Author: Berlynn Wohl Rating: Explicit Pairing: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb Word count: 2400 Summary: Fill for a prompt from one of my Tumblr followers: “Newt wants everything to be perfect. Hermann just wants to get off." 

Uprising? I don’t know her. I started writing this before the film came out, and my plans are to stand by my pre-Uprising headcanon, which is that Newt and Hermann survive the war ultimately unscathed, find a quiet life in academia, and live happily ever after…because it is what they deserve.

in honor of Hermann Gottlieb's birthday, please enjoy this Berlynn Classic(TM)

most popular line of scientific inquiry on tumblr

all you recovering members of That Fandom who lament that you "cannot even plug in my phone charger without thinking of Him," uhhhhhh don't go to philadelphia

I arrived at the natural history museum two minutes before an eighth grade field trip group and they are saying to each other "that's you" while pointing at every creature imaginable

what are you even supposed to do when your friend points at a nudibranch and goes "haha that's you," how do you clap back in the face of that

I arrived at the natural history museum two minutes before an eighth grade field trip group and they are saying to each other "that's you" while pointing at every creature imaginable

No matter how many years go by, it never stops being fun to go to a zoo or aquarium, find a fish whose name starts with "B," and remark, "I loved him on Sherlock!"

having your four-year-old genre fiction skyrocket to #3 on Amazon's book list because it was recc'ed by a yaoi tastemaker is a coup for sure, but lacking bigolas dickolas' endorsement, I want to give a shout-out to the memoirist who, the day before his book came out, tweeted that he had just accidentally come into possession of an unbound, undistributed trek zine containing the most perverse spock porn imaginable and promised to post it the following day -- everyone (including myself) who followed him in order to catch the freaky spock porn instead got treated to weeks of promos for his book and nothing else, clever!

everyone is fucking but no one is horny

one of my twitter friends recently said that if she could order up a fic it would be a story written by someone who has only ever read the classics, 1.5 star trek novelizations, and their mother's romance novels from 1970, written about two people are so out of their minds horny for each other it causes them to make the absolute worst choices anyone's ever made.

and i almost lost my mind laughing because i do know exactly what she means. there is a weird vibe i can sometimes sense within the first few paragraphs a fic that really bums me out. it's almost like i can tell the author is thinking way too much about what i'm thinking about their id and it's suddenly like we're all suddenly wondering how riding a bicycle works when we're mid-ride. when you start worrying too much audience interpretation or how a fic is going to do or play or ugh marketability, it genuinely adds some weird self-conscious distance to whatever you're doing. and it's the pits from the reader side because it removes so much horniness from your story even if the idea you have is genuinely good! i know this is not a niche complaint--you find it literally everywhere as every sector of the creative internet gets #content-ed and people can't escape the stats of how any given creative outlet does.

but god there's literally nothing better than sitting down and reading some freaknasty person's art where they do not give a single shit if you like it. they had something to say and my god they were gonna say it. i've accidentally acquired so many kinks by clicking on a story where someone took me on the most insane ride of my life and i thrilled about it. i don't wanna read about polite normal regular love. i don't wanna read about people using therapy-speak on each other. i wanna read about two people feeling the biggest craziest feelings of their entire life and they cannot do anything about it except bang it out. what else are we doing here? if they're not fucking down an entire house, well jed i don't even wanna read it.

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Still obsessed with Arthur Conan Doyle’s letter to Bram Stoker gushing about how wonderful a book Dracula is, but particularly how it makes such a good template for leaving fic comments, so I’m gonna to a BREAKDOWN:

  • Just say you loved reading it - “I am sure that you will not think it an impertinence if I write to tell you how very much I have enjoyed reading Dracula.”
  • Comment on a detail of the craft or structure that impressed you - “It is really wonderful how with so much exciting interest over so long a book there is never an anticlimax.“
  • Comment on how it emotionally affected you - “It holds you from the very start and grows more and more engrossing until it is quite painfully vivid.”
  • SHARE YOUR BLORBO FEELINGS - “The old Professor is most excellent and so are the two girls.”
  • Show appreciation for them as an author - “I congratulate you with all my heart for having written so fine a book.”

Next time you don’t know what to say on a fic you enjoyed, just use the ACD method~