NEW FIC! “Perfection Takes Time” (Newt/Hermann, Explicit)

Title: Perfection Takes Time (read on AO3) Author: Berlynn Wohl Rating: Explicit Pairing: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb Word count: 2400 Summary: Fill for a prompt from one of my Tumblr followers: “Newt wants everything to be perfect. Hermann just wants to get off." 

Uprising? I don’t know her. I started writing this before the film came out, and my plans are to stand by my pre-Uprising headcanon, which is that Newt and Hermann survive the war ultimately unscathed, find a quiet life in academia, and live happily ever after…because it is what they deserve.

in honor of Hermann Gottlieb's birthday, please enjoy this Berlynn Classic(TM)

most popular line of scientific inquiry on tumblr

what the yellowstone caldera and my fanfic characters have in common

No matter how many years go by, it never stops being fun to go to a zoo or aquarium, find a fish whose name starts with "B," and remark, "I loved him on Sherlock!"

My body is a temple that is largely used for the management and storage of grains.

I arrived at the natural history museum two minutes before an eighth grade field trip group and they are saying to each other "that's you" while pointing at every creature imaginable

what are you even supposed to do when your friend points at a nudibranch and goes "haha that's you," how do you clap back in the face of that

where’s the picture of bruce and sting that someone captioned “lesbian couple”. that’s the only thing that can help me right now

This one?

YES. THIS ONE

everyone is fucking but no one is horny

one of my twitter friends recently said that if she could order up a fic it would be a story written by someone who has only ever read the classics, 1.5 star trek novelizations, and their mother's romance novels from 1970, written about two people are so out of their minds horny for each other it causes them to make the absolute worst choices anyone's ever made.

and i almost lost my mind laughing because i do know exactly what she means. there is a weird vibe i can sometimes sense within the first few paragraphs a fic that really bums me out. it's almost like i can tell the author is thinking way too much about what i'm thinking about their id and it's suddenly like we're all suddenly wondering how riding a bicycle works when we're mid-ride. when you start worrying too much audience interpretation or how a fic is going to do or play or ugh marketability, it genuinely adds some weird self-conscious distance to whatever you're doing. and it's the pits from the reader side because it removes so much horniness from your story even if the idea you have is genuinely good! i know this is not a niche complaint--you find it literally everywhere as every sector of the creative internet gets #content-ed and people can't escape the stats of how any given creative outlet does.

but god there's literally nothing better than sitting down and reading some freaknasty person's art where they do not give a single shit if you like it. they had something to say and my god they were gonna say it. i've accidentally acquired so many kinks by clicking on a story where someone took me on the most insane ride of my life and i thrilled about it. i don't wanna read about polite normal regular love. i don't wanna read about people using therapy-speak on each other. i wanna read about two people feeling the biggest craziest feelings of their entire life and they cannot do anything about it except bang it out. what else are we doing here? if they're not fucking down an entire house, well jed i don't even wanna read it.

My favourite kind of fics to read and to write

Still obsessed with Arthur Conan Doyle’s letter to Bram Stoker gushing about how wonderful a book Dracula is, but particularly how it makes such a good template for leaving fic comments, so I’m gonna to a BREAKDOWN:

Next time you don’t know what to say on a fic you enjoyed, just use the ACD method~