i think we shouod terraform earth to make it completely flat because itd be fun

i meant completely smooth but flat it actuwlly funnier

new flat earth thearoy: we could do it

TIL, that Uber also offers "Uber Walker" services, where an independent uber contractor can walk you to your destination on a leash and you crawl on 4s and if you stop walking they can hit you with dog-beating stick

Holy shit Uncle Iroh takes no prisoners when it comes to being an ally

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

fascinated by the implication that it's the stained glass that gives catholics the guilt

i really hope they release like. a post mortem on tumblr live. i wanna know how many people ever actually used that thing. it couldn't have been many

Uhhhh

If you make $15 an hour, don't be mad that fast food workers are making the same as you. Be mad that a parking space is making almost double.

i just solved the db cooper case

he fucking died dude

yo your brother kind of sucks

I can’t fucking stop being utterly transfixed by this gif I think this is how cocomelon babies feel when they see dancing strawberries

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

I was one of three afab people in my highschool English class with my extremely common first name. I'm a 5'0" brunette, the other two were blonde and ginger, and on the volleyball team.

My teacher called us "Blonde (name)", "Red (name)", and "Short (name)".

starting a collection

god who even knows

I’m getting way too comfortable at work. My boss asked me to do something and I replied ‘pay me’ and he looked like the saddest wettest little bug and said ‘we… we do?’

sending people wikipedia articles is my favorite form of humor. one time a long time friend of mine asked why i was using a different name and acting different i sent him the wikipedia page for DID. ryder just asked me why its 108 degrees in nevada right now and i sent him the wikipedia page for global warming and the season of summer.

i see you all in the tags going "this is so funny" you better not steal my fucking bit. im copyrighting this joke

you cant do this to me