Untitled

Wasted!

GTA5

what does this mean

green eggs and ram

i saw that and shut my laptop and walked away for a solid minute

if you ever feel like a failure, just remember that jack crawford and the fbi arrested a vegan as the main suspect on a cannibal case

not a vegan by choice mind you, a person who physically could not digest animal proteins

is it bad that the headless mannequins at old navy look better then i do? 

Tinkerbelle’s Purple Addiction purpletinkerbelles.tumblr.com

Tinkerbelle’s Purple Addiction purpletinkerbelles.tumblr.com

(via youlilshit)

Do twins have the same sized dick?

now we’re asking the real questions

As a twin, I can say my dick is definitely bigger than my sister’s.

Whaling is the new planking. [vid]

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

The girl who was my elementary school girl friend just got engaged and I’m sitting here single wearing a pug shirt and hamburger underwear

Just remember, u r someone’s dream girl

I’m a boy

Tumblr has made us forget that some people are actually straight

I’m gay

jesus this post is one train wreck after another

My great grandpa got hit by a train once.

*whispers in ur ear* would you like fries with that

*bites lip* oh yeah baby

*touches ur inner thigh* would you like to super size that

*pokes head through the door* we’re out of toilet paper

what

*pokes head through window* she said she’s out of toilet paper

wtf can we get some privacy here

*pokes head through the ceiling vent* no

I swear everyone on this high is website

Golden Bay, New Zealand