Oh, god, I can't believe the guy who wrote Terrible White People Can Get Away with Anything They Want: The Series is actually a terrible white man who thinks he can get away with anything he wants.

In hindsight, it does add a level of realism to his portrayal of Terrible White Man Above Accountability #2.

3.11 ends just after 9:30am on Monday. A half hour before Nathan returns to Richmond at 10am, Monday.

I can't imagine I'm the only one who assumed 3.12 would pick up right where 3.11 left off. We would see Ted tell Rebecca he's leaving. We would see Nathan arrive at 10am for his first day back in a fraught work environment. We would see him and Ted finally talk.

We don't see any of those things.

Instead, 3.12 jumps to ahead to a morning some time later.

The show skips the central conversations the season has been leading up to in favor of teasing Tedbecca one last time.

The writing prioritized being a petty little asshole to Tedbecca shippers over providing a meaningful (ONSCREEN) resolution to the Nathan-Ted conflict.

I get the appeal of being a petty little asshole. It's a rewarding experience. But look at what was sacrificed. At who was once again sacrificed.

The opening of 3.12 was not a particularly kind parting gift for the Tedbecca shippers. I can see why they would be upset.

Even though I don't ship Ted and Rebecca together (or with anyone, really), I'm upset, too. I resent the scene for what it replaced (an important moment for Nathan) and what it enabled (Nathan being assistant to the kitman).

To show rather than tell would have required an actual in-character, earned, and sensical reason for Nathan to return as anything other than a coach (the thing 3.11 was teasing).

Showing would have required someone to believably say, "I know Nathan is more than qualified to be an assistant coach. I know that he has the skills, experience, and insight into West Ham (as their former manager) that would enable us to win the whole fucking thing. But I think it would be best if he served in the lowest-ranking position in the locker room instead. Rather than use Nathan's coaching genius, Richmond should invent a new position that will allow Nathan to serve under someone with vastly less kitman experience. That is a thing that should happen."

Someone (possibly even Nathan) would have to say that, and other people would have to agree.

Showing would require multiple characters to agree, "Yes, the best place for the only Brown coach on this show is to serve and clean up after the people he once supervised and who once bullied him. This is the right thing, because this Brown man needs to practice humility, be punished with manual labor, prove his devotion to a two billion pound club, and/or take comfort in repetitive tasks. This is an incredibly generous offer."

The Tedbecca fake-out allowed the show to avoid

The Tedbecca fake-out was a distraction. It demonstrated tremendous contempt for the fans, and it denied both Nathan and Nick Mohammed a well-deserved opportunity to shine.

At the end of the day, Nathan's arc as an autistic savant-coded character is eerily similar to "Statistical Probabilities."

A Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode that premiered in 1997.

26 years and the message is the same.

Your genius is merely a parlor trick. We cannot trust you with real power, because you will only abuse it. We will not grant you the same grace and gentle education as the normal people. You should go back where you belong and stay there. You are a captive performer for our viewing pleasure. And you should be so grateful.

Of course, you could argue that Nathan's arc better reflects Rain Man. The show references the 1988 film in constructing Nathan's relationship to Ted and genius.

See: the shot of Ted and Nathan in their suits as they enter the charity gala vs. the iconic shot of Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman coming down an elevator in new suits.

See also: Nathan knowing the distance between Richmond and Kansas, and the score of a match based on text alerts vs. Dustin Hoffman and those fucking toothpicks.

35 years and the message remains:

Your genius is merely a parlor trick. If only the leading man had your talents; they wouldn't be wasted on him. You should go back where you belong and stay there.

But Rain Man and the Jack Pack are white. Nathan is brown. So the story goes:

Your genius is merely a parlor trick--a colonial curiosity. You are unsuited to power--over others or even your own life. But you are surrounded by good people. They are white and "higher functioning," so they will be able to take care of you. They will choose where you work. You will be paid less for the same tasks, or not at all. You may be asked to pay a fee for this generous opportunity. You should feel lucky to be allowed where you belong.

Time effortlessly bringing progress is an imperialist myth. Change occurs through concerted effort. If a show visits the White House without any policy demands for the community it purports to represent, we should expect stagnation or further destruction.

Post-Finale Thoughts

I cannot tell you how few shits I give about Roy and Keeley and Jamie.

22 minutes in and I am fucking constipated from lack of concern.