WELCOME!

modern social media should stop offering "sync with your phone contacts to follow them" options and start offering "block all your phone contacts so they never see your account" options

hannibal letter if he was in a water level in super mario brothers

breaking bad deleted scene

Zack and Cody showing up at that restaurant at 7:30pm tonight:

so fucking sick of my utopia i designed after getting mad in traffic and used my last genies wish... no games or pussy here really at all

if you're there there's at least one pussy

not helpful or kind

#I hope they feel like Italian today

You know the best thing about the internet is when you do time jokes like this, in any medium, there will be at least one person on the internet somewhere who will just remember that joke until they can make it go full circle no matter how long it takes

“The Workman’s New Clothes” by Philip Gladstone

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Photo by Marc Mol / Caters News.

(source)

“The baby hippo was clearly not used to the red and yellow oxpeckers on his back,” Mol says. “It was only a matter of 10 seconds or so before the little guy had had enough. […]"

Hippos and oxpeckers generally have a symbiotic relationship in which the birds eat ticks and other types of parasites from the hippo’s body — the hippo gets free grooming while the bird gets free food.

In this case, however, it seems the baby hippo hadn’t yet gotten the memo on its feathered friends.

An interesting internet culture thing I’ve never seen discussed is the “shared unstated”, where someone will say an incomplete sentence leaving out the most crucial information and yet it conveys an idea or emotion that everyone just. Gets.

An example of this is when people are reacting emotionally to something and they just say “I’M” and then leave off any verbs or anything else in general. We started out with “IM SCREAMING” or “IM DYING” and then evolved just into “I’M” which holds almost no information and yet, we get it.

Another example is the recent “one of the most of all time” phrase. The first time I saw it was about a very strange looking little creature, like maybe one of those rodents with the elongated snout, and one of the comments was “one of the most animals of all time.” The crucial adjective is missing but the Vibe is present. Is it one of the most beautiful animals, the best animals, the coolest animals, the weirdest animals? Certainly not. And we all know it’s not. But it definitely is one of the most animals, which is a separate thing. Idk. It just is. We just get it. It’s the shared unstated.

I hope I'm not just a mutual to you guys but also someone who makes you cream in horror

I meant to say scream but y'all just let it happen anyway smh

ur tellin me a strawberry pounded this cake

whenever one of my posts is tagged #fave or whatever i like to take a look around in there, check the curation and all that, see how prestigious the club i've been inducted into is

bed of rice sounds like the coziest place to be

^ wet phone mentality

I think it’s pretty common knowledge by now. John Harvey Kellog, creator of the Kellogs brand of cereal, strongly believed eating cereal every day would surpress a person’s libido and make them not want to masturbate. However he could not predict one major factor that would undo all his work

tumblr is full of phrases that we are all so desensitized to that they're just normal, but if you say it to a person in real life its so funny to them its a one-hit insta kill

diversity win! somebody told me you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year 

Funnily enough, this isn't hedonism at all--insects HATE being covered in pollen. It covers their eyes and sensory hairs, making it difficult to see and smell. Nectar-drinking insects keep evolving long probosces to reach the nectar without having to walk through all that pollen! Even bees, who eat pollen, in some species have pollen baskets to carry the pollen in without getting coated in it.

Of course, this is contrary to the interests of the plant, who wants the insect to carry as much pollen as possible. This leads to a ridiculous evolutionary war of longer flowers and longer probosces, as the plant keeps trying to get the pollinator to walk into the pollen, and the pollinator keeps resisting it.