You know I love Taylor and I love midnights really i do but I feel a little robbed
Seriously how did we go from "and now my eyes leak acid rain on the pillow where you used to lay your head" to"karma is a cat" :((
Soooooo after 2 years of diagnosis, 4 different types of medication, and 7 mental illnesses (not counting all of the psychological issues), I have decided that I am officially giving up! I have had enough! I am undiagnosing myself! Nothing is wrong with me anymore, I am going raw, fighting these little silly demons by myself because nothing is going to work anyways! My life and I are simply garbage in the garden of Eden that is life, I have swallowed the whole apple tree and I am ready to fight god with my bare hands ! I am absolutely not okay BUT I will not be if not for a couple of months before I destroy my life and my self image after slowly rebuilding it from the last time I completely lost it ! Yay
I was a gifted child. Until I wasn't. I was the golden girl. Until I couldn't burn anymore.
My parents expected me to build wings of gold and fly further than anyone could ever try. I don't blame them, having a child to raise is like sculpting a clay pot, you can shape it the way you like, paint it the colour you fancy. To raise a child is to play God. To raise a child is to be God.
But to be a child is to fall, to make mistakes, to fail. The thing about being too bright at an early age means you burn out by the time you're 16 and suddenly the world around you becomes more gray and terribly, terribly lonely. The fire is never warm enough, nothing is ever enough. And one day you find yourself begging to a godless sky, begging for a new spark.
I was a gifted child once. I was the golden girl. And one day, I burned out.
-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire
Zoë Lianne, "Erasure"
Mary Oliver, "Felicity"
Emily Bronte, "Wuthering Heights"
SHE SHOULD BE MAD SHOULD BE SCATHING LIKE ME BUT NO ONE LIKES A MAD WOMEN
I really don't think that I can do this anymore. It never fucking ends. I'm there chasing after some guy that I don't even like just so i can get the glimpse of feeling something. But I don't I don't feel the tiniest thing but I still chase because I have hope that maybe i will
It's not how it was supposed to be and I am so fucking tired I don't wanna live for the hope of it all anymore I want all of this to fucking end I can't do it anymore
I wasn’t actually in love
but I felt a sort of tender curiosity
1k followers celebration ♫ favorite musician per member ↳ TAYLOR SWIFT • @exiles
I wanna be defined by the things that I love. Not the things I hate. Not the things that I’m afraid of— I’m afraid of. Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night. I— I just think that… You are what you love.
Being bipolar is so fucking annoying fr like every emotion I'm like is this too high too low ?? Mood swings=mixed episode ? Or is my period coming ?
Always worrying ab the next phase 🥲
Last kiss WALKED so all too well could run
Healing is so hard fr like you have to unpack all of these thoughts and feelings you didn't even know you had and now I HATE men
All of the books, movies and songs are about love. Great love, missed love, hurtful love. love, love love. It's all about love. Me, I have no one to give my love to. No one from my past that I regret, nor someone in my present who I'd like to have a future with. Loneliness doesn't bother me, as I'm used to it. But the feeling of missing out on something, being left out and not being able to relate to what I am surrounded with everyday, this is what breaks my heart.