St Andrew: I am not worthy to have the same manner of death as our Lord so if you must crucify me then may I request you turn the cross upside down?

Roman guard: Oh is this like a thing or something with you guys? We were just talking about how that Peter guy asked the same thing in Rome

St Andrew: What the fuck? Are you serious? This was my idea first and I told him about it and Peter goes off and does it before me?What a fucking asshole uhhhh what about an X shape can you do an X shape like that’s still a pair of wooden beams right

Roman guard: I mean, an X would be a entirely different thing and I’ve never designed something to asphyxiate hanging from an X but, ok you know what that sucks your friend stole your idea and did it first so sure we can make it work

Not parasocial love nor parasocial hate but a secret third thing where I respect the celebrity for their talents and achievements while acknowledging that I do not have a personal relationship with them and that they are a human with flaws

Thank you for acknowledging that parasocial hate is just as weird as parasocial love. You don't know them. Stop speculating about them actually being horrible.

this silly guy

Oh, man, I NEED these!

Fucking genius

my favorite calvin and hobbes comic is the one where his dad just rolls up and casually destroys his entire night by pointing out some neat trivia about record players

@nightcrawler-fan

#his expression in the last panel is black comic gold #the best part is that his dad was trying to be nice

are you sure. are you sure calvin’s dad is not a seasoned elder trickster. are you sure this isn’t the exact outcome he was hoping for

ok but that’s actually canon

You forgot this one

*looks pointedly at ETD*

Calvin’s dad is basically a Calvin who has learned that he can’t get away with running outside naked or throwing snowballs at neighborhood girls, but he is still precisely the same little shit under the thin veneer of civilization.

@lyricwritesprose Calvin and Hobbes has been one of my favorite things since I could read and Calvin’s dad one of my favorite characters, but that last comment blew my mind wide open. Of course that’s what he is. Of course.

one of the most subtly delightful things about calvin and hobbes is that you can SEE that calvin is his parents’ kid: his dad is so playful and imaginative, and his mom has a heck of a temper and a good sense of what’s right and wrong. calvin is a smart, passionate, imaginative kid who gets really upset when he thinks things are stupid or unfair. he drives his parents crazy sometimes because he’s a kid. but they were probably a lot like calvin themselves, when they were little. 

My favorite goddamn comic

Also didn’t Calvin make a comment once that apparently his grandma said his mother was just as much of a troublemaker as he is

My lifelong love of Calvin and Hobbes has facets that I am only discovering as a diagnosed adult.

Haters be like

“It’s totally possible to make a path that goes through every door exactly once”

Idk if I did it right

sorry!

it’s true you can’t draw one continuous line that would do the trick. but if the kitty and bunny set out by going through the doors they’re marked beside and each walked the certain way their colored arrows show at the same time their “collective path” as a team would go through each door only once. The moral of the story is actually about friendship , and cooperation, because in this world there are tasks you can’t do on your own.

im just fucking with you i’m pretty sure this has no right answer

i concocted a solution with a 100% mortality rate

Stop being so incredibly funny on my impossible puzzle post

You can switch the tracks so the trolley will kill one person, or you can allow it to attempt the fruitless crusade of running over each person in the maze only once.

all in a days work! *passes out*

My indecisive butt, walking in and being faced with having to make a decision, immediately leaving

oOoOoooo I’m a ghost!

Fire

dude my house

What I love about tumblr is when we see a logic problem meant to be frustrating and/or unsolvable, we almost reflexively try to destroy it.

This website’s userbase is a chimp chewing through a Chinese finger trap

Spirits Of Music (Franklin Booth)

Crab Day

okay, so here's a new info post from the top.

the problem: tumblr is extremely extremely in debt. the current model is not profitable. this is why they are trying to turn the site into a shit clone of every other social media site, so they can attract new users and their money.

solution: not a ton of people can afford a long-term subscriptions like ad-free. however, many of us CAN afford $3 to inflict crabs on another unsuspecting user. (and those that can't, can still enjoy crabs everywhere)

the idea: in the grand traditions of mishapocalypses and goncharovs and tumblr users' obsession with [random inconsequential thing] Days, we create a fund drive/holiday on July 29th, dubbed Crab Day. buy your friends crabs. buy your enemies crabs. blaze posts. post memes. change ur icon. whatever. actually put your money where your mouth is and show @staff that there actually IS profit motive to listen to the current users about what we want this site to look like. (and yes, that means accessibility features too. we currently have zero leverage to demand these features. let's change that.)

i don't know if this will actually go anywhere. worst case scenario, a few of us have fun, tumblr gets a small amount of money, and nothing changes. best case though, we actually provide incentive to keep our stupid hellsite unique.

oh shit, thank you to the person who blazed this! ^^ i really hope the idea catches on, it really could be a lot of fun.

this is so fucking funny, tumblr is like "pwease we need money so so bad"

Hello, fellow writers. I am here to make your lives just a bit easier, by making your character's experience with near-critical blood loss have a little more personality!

(This is how I cope)

Anyway, hope my trauma can help you! Don't ask questions about why I had a haemoglobin count of under 6, you dont want to know the answer! All other questions are allowed and encouraged! I know all sorts of shit now and can help with probably lots of inquiries you might have! Yippee!

Ruby Bridges is 68. This is not ancient history. Not even close.

I know Ruby. She's a really nice person. The idea that they would try and write what she did as a girl out of history is shocking to me on so many levels, the simplest of which is just, but don't they know how lovely she is?

Gravity legally cannot hurt you if you scream "NO GODS NO MASTERS" immediately before impact

I'm so fucking tired of this bicycle helmet discourse. Bike helmets aren't going to do shit to protect you if you get hit by a car

Most of the time... Bike accidents.... Involve things.... Other than cars...... like the ground....also it's safety gear..... Wearing it is non negotiable.... You are one accident away from being permanently disabled..... You need to protect your brain

Not towards OP

Is OSHA and other safety regulations also cop behavior?

*sigh* The belief that OSHA and other safety regulations are cop behavior are common opinions that people have, anarchist or not. Wearing PPE is annoying and often uncomfortable, sweaty, and cumbersome. People also generally hate being told to be careful, because they believe that "be careful" is synonymous with "hey, you're too stupid to do that without hurting yourself".

But all it takes is one time for you to slip up and suddenly the grinder disk that would have gotten stuck in your safety glasses is in your eye, or you're getting treated for lung cancer because you didn't want to wear your respirator while you welded. These are decisions that you were free to make, but might seriously regret later on.

People will scream until they're blue in the face about how oppressive it is to have to wear a safety vest and hard hat on a construction site, but do you really think that the hammer that slipped out of your buddy's hand is going to take that into consideration when it collides with your skull?

No political theory will save you from an accident. You can either wear your PPE, or can die, unexpectedly, painfully, and slowly. The choice is yours. Go argue with a lathe if you feel so strongly about it.

Film Studies by ARCH APOLAR

Finding out Miles’ spider symbol in itsv was designed based on the anarchy symbol rewires sth in my brain fr… pls of course Hobie’d think Miles is the coolest Spider in the whole multiverse ….

whenever i complete chores i get an achievement banner pop up in my head dark souls style

when gerard way sings "the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and when kermit the frog sings "the lovers, the dreamers, and me" they're talking about the same people btw

i get kidnapped by a rich creep and he does the whole "have dinner with me wearing this specific dress (or die)" thing and i'm like okay lol let's see the dress and it turns out the dress doesn't fit me because the loser just thought he could grab any old low-cut red dress off the rack because he's a man and so i have to explain that there are very very few dresses that actually fit my weird proportions and so we take the fancy dinner to go and spend four hours dress shopping and then sometime around dress #27 i make my daring escape and he doesn't even bother to pursue me because he's so tired of shopping

Read as many times as needed

picture . people don't need to be sober and drug-free to deserve food, shelter, and kindness . end picture .

Jasmine on Twitter

@Chola__Girl

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Mar 12

Mua: gabyteua🌸

Hair : amanda_tashelle🌸

Photographer: parishelena🌸

Nails : lightslacquer 🌸

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