good morning God has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everybody’s problem
what if i could have kissed you for real every time i wanted to. sometimes when you smile i have to force myself to look away from your lips. you remind me of rivers. what i mean is you’re a sunbeam and i want to drown in it.
10 or 11 little ducks have been spotted crossing the dash board
when ever I start hearing the horns of the apocalypse I just say out loud to myself "the tumpet. bwaaa" and it makes me feel better every time
judas was probably like "jesus has pulled off so many wacky things, he'll get out of this one lickity split, and i get three shiny coins out of it, too"
men literally love dying on doomed sea voyages it’s so so cruel to keep them from dying on doomed sea voyages
“you should be the bigger person” absolutely not. i’m cursing his entire bloodline.
the Sinner’s Prayer of may I not be found dead on the toilet, and if I am found dead on the toilet may I not be holding my phone, and if I am found dead on the toilet holding my phone may I at least have been reading something edifying and not composing a half-finished post as a ghastly conclusion to a life wasted.
where were you when you wrote this post? just curious
I was in the library reading Seneca in the original Latin.
You ever start writing something and it turns out so much darker then expected and your just like “you okay in there?” to yourself or is it just me?
Happy passover everyone.
Also please check in on your gentile friends and make sure they don't drink this, I'm worried for them:
May God deliver me from the urge to buy Peepsi.
Hi. Gentile who tried the Peepsi. It tastes like cream cheese frosting.
Thank you for surviving to give us this warning.
Once the results are done, I'll multiply 255 to the decimal version of the percentage, and see what color we make!!
Here's the result!! A nice lookin color, good work everyone!
Imagine jigsaw bringing the current torture puzzle to a screeching halt to announce over the PA system: “oh my god guys they got the pentagon!!”
everyone in my life has been viciously bullying me to read gideon the 9th and I had never heard of it until today when I realized that all of you have been blogging abt it for months but i confused the locked tomb with the concept of the empty tomb and ignored all the posts bc i sort of assumed yall were talking abt christ or something
well it’s fucking empty now isn’t it. happy easter y’all
shout out to the drag queen last night who started the show with “ladies, gentlemen, and those of us who know better’














