vampire stake to the heart wont work if your tits are big enough
Yeah, you just catch it
Nah nah nah, deflects it. Stake? Just bounces right off. Done. Back to doing hot girl shit.
Then I just use a spear instead.
you are trying so hard to kill a vampire with big bazongas and for what. why would you do that to the ecosystem
I can hear my kid playing supermarket by herself and she’s telling all the customers that they are disgusting and they need to leave
And she's right
Do y’all ever wonder if there are people out there who know your old fanfics. Like I used to write a Young Justice FanFiction that was on Wattpad called Birds of a Feather and the main characters superhero name was Tweety. This shit haunts me every fuckin day of my life
Steve x reader x Bucky
Soulmate AU where the first words you say are tattooed on your soulmate.
“Sorry I’m high on feminism…and a little weed”
Warning: Smut, 18+
The trio decided to spend the next day on their floor together lounging about. Athena was sporting one of their sweatshirts, and a pair of boxers that she had to roll quite a few times to get them to stay up. It was still pretty early, around 8 in the morning.
“We can make…” Steve started saying as he looked in fridge, “…sandwiches?” He said it like a question as he looked at Athena and Bucky who were both sat at the bar drinking coffee.
“We need to go grocery shopping,” Bucky stated as he stood up to put his empty cup in the sink.
i wish british accents were real and weren’t just invented for the ppcu (peppa pig cinematic universe)
incorrect destiel quotes
Every time I see this, all I can think of Dean mad at Cas so he’s being dramatic.
King
Worth noting that he protested loudly against the WWE doing a show in Saudi Arabia after the assassination of Jamal Khashoggi, and the company retaliated by making sure he hasn’t been on TV or PPV since. Not fired, of course, so they can keep selling merchandise with his face on it (and keep him from joining the competition), just out of the public eye so he and his protests gets forgotten by the fans.
Picture that: an ubiquitous celeb and household name like John Cena basically got black bagged and vanished for speaking up for human rights. That’s the power of capitalism, kids
“write the exciting parts you WANT to write then work backwards!” is probably good writing advice for people with good working brains and not caveman idiots who will go “ooh fun part done me not want write no more” aka ME
CALLED THE FUCK OUT
a trio of witches and their familiars
I love how each are representing all three colours for their hair dress and fox. Like love it so much.
Whup Tee Doo
Jo Ann has had ENOUGH
nooo don’t express serious emotions you’ve been designated “the funny one” aha
fuck all of you i’m going to go get clout on the jeremy renner app
there’s no way you can look at this and tell me that twitter is better than tumblr
What the fuck
What the hell? Can we stop fetishizing ted bundy now because he’s gross, sexist and a complete asshole?
i think he did some other bad stuff too
What the fucking fuck
If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”
that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything
I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person
must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!
Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.
always reblog tumblr identification
This is an absolute tumblr relic. I feel like an archaeologist right now. This is incredible that this is on my dash.
this is from an era long passed
An ancient artifact
I can’t believe I get to witness this piece of the past
Stop all that “you attract what you are ready for” shit. Sometimes life is just terrible. It’s not always my fault.
“Life never gives you more than you can handle.” Yes, it does.
“People are placed in your life to teach you a valuable lesson that helps your soul on its way to enlightenment.” No, there are a just a lot of people who feel empowered when they act like assholes. We live in that kind of society.
“You keep finding yourself in the same situation because you haven’t discovered the message the universe is trying to send to you yet.” Sometimes unpleasant things are stuck on repeat, because you have a mental or physical condition, and it is a symptom. Symptoms are like that.
“The truth always hurts.” No, it doesn’t, and what hurts often isn’t the truth, but is instead someone’s biased opinion.
I really appreciate this comment. Thank you thank you thank you.
This is what I need to hear. I blamed myself for so long for the abuse I endured and for attracting the people that hurt me.
When you realize the world is a complex system of infinite overlaying chaotic subsystems each with infinite inputs and that “deserve” doesn’t factor into it, it’s actually kind of freeing.
Is there a word for this yet? Can we call it positive nihilism?
Basically existentialism.
Everybody who reblogs this before may 25th 2019 will get a little cryptid design based on their blog, url, etc.
YES PLS
Bet
