I've noticed that some fans within the Sandman are laboring under the mistaken conclusion that Dream doesn't understand certain aspects of human culture, and that this is somehow a shortcoming that he not only has but comes into conflict with. This is mistaken on two counts.

1. Humans aren't the only intelligent species across the universe. There are thousands, stretching from the birth of the first star to death of the last, and his purview is over all of them. He is THE Dream of the Endless, embodiment of all that is not and will never be, and has rather a lot of cultures to be keeping track of considering the number that exist even within one species. So there's a lot to sort through in that facsimile of a noggin any time a character refers to some charming aspect of life, but he sorts through it with such promptness and ease (because that's his job) that we forget he's sorting through anything at all. Now, we can go into the blurry mechanics of aspects/facets/manifestations of a greater whole and how those exist separately yet as one being, but while it's an interesting path to stroll at a different time, that's not what we're here to do.

2. I touched on it before, but Dream does know this stuff somewhere in the vast web of minds that he consists of. Sometimes he acts like he doesn't for his own sanity (so to speak), sometimes for the sake of the individual trying to relate things to him, and sometimes because it's more Dramatic. He knows culture and etiquette and invention, he utilizes this knowledge to be the most politest little gentleman but he also uses it to be a cunt. If there is something he's said that's in poor taste, consider what is going on from Dream's perspective. Is he mad? Is he scared? Is he feeling petty? The answer is probably yes to one of these. When he's upset, he is extraordinarily insensitive because most of his energy goes to not committing horrifying atrocities barely conscienable by the waking mind seeing as how he is a cunt. When he's scared he puffs himself up and acts a cunt. When he's feeling petty he is, you guessed it, intentionally being a cunt. If he doesn't seem to know a certain taboo, he either doesn't care enough to, or does and is intentionally breaking it.

FINALLY!! Sometimes he does know and doesn't grasp for... reasons unclear. For example: he knows about chimneys, but doesn't grasp their significance. Or when people use colloquial phrases and he takes it as literally as possible. He understands humans, just not the experience.

TL;DR—Dream knows what everyone is talking about. He just doesn't care or is being intentionally obtuse when he doesn't seem to, for the most part, and when not applicable he still knows and just doesn't fully grasp it. He is very smart insomuch that intelligence can be measured among endless, he's just also very naive and petty.

So I'm reading through the Sandman comics, and I just got through "Three Septembers and a January" and it is just... SO interesting in terms of the Endless family dynamics.

(This is going to be so disorganized and rambly I just have a lot of feelings I loved this story okay)

Like, yeah okay I'm a Dream apologist, but seriously. Despair calls Dream (not in her gallery and without his sigil- very informal and borderline against the rules- and he still comes!) and challenges him to a game over a mortal's life. Dream is like "No, I don't play your games, I'm a goddamn professional" and Despair shoots back like "WOW you think you're soooo much better than us, not fucking around with people's lives, it's 100% your fault Destruction left" and Dream is like "...fine, hold my beer."

So that alone I'm like. Yeah dude. I get it. And if that's the shit he's been dealing with for all of existence? Yeah I'd be annoyed with my siblings too.

Another part I'm super interested in is seeing when Death shows up and when she doesn't (to be fair, we're following Dream, so it's possible we just don't see certain interactions).

At the very beginning of the challenge, Death shows up to like. Scold Dream for going along with it? She even says "I thought you were an adult" and like. Okay, sure, you think Dream shouldn't be doing this but are you going to talk to Despair and Desire about this? I love Death but a lot of times she gives me the vibe of an adult telling you "Just ignore them they're just doing it to get a reaction" instead of telling the other person to stop antagonizing you, y'know?

At one point Despair says "What's there to understand? He's mortal. He's nothing." And Dream immediately disagrees, and like. That feels like PRIME Death lecture area. Despair doesn't value mortals! The people they serve! Death if you can scold Dream for feeling lost and disconnected from humanity after being tortured for 100 years you can scold Despair for looking down on humans for seemingly no reason.

Desire eventually shows up to try to sway the guy they're following into giving into his desires, but he turns them down. And Desire is SO pissed like "what the FUCK this guy should be mine!!" and Dream's just like "¯\_(:/)_/¯" and then as he leaves is like "Tbh disappointed in you Desire, you weren't very subtle" which to me felt like an "I expected better from you" and, expectedly, Desire gets MORE pissed and as they leave, to themself are like "Oh he wants subtle? I'm gonna make him spill family blood and bring the Kindly Ones down on him!!" Which. To me. Feels like just a bit of an overreaction.

Seriously THAT'S why you want to kill him?? Because he insulted you during a challenge that he didn't even want to be a part of but got provoked into? That's your motivation? Holy shit.

Dream's done some fucked up shit, no lie, but when it comes to the family side of things? Honestly #TeamDream all the way, just leave the poor boy alone, Jesus Christ.

I've encountered a strangely large number of stories online of single men who decide to test the theory that married men are inherently more desirable to women by buying a fake wedding ring and wearing it. They usually report that this works miraculously, women are far friendlier and more approachable, which is immediately interpreted as flirting. The conclusion they draw from the data is that women are inherently cruel, selfish and greedy, because clearly they don't want the man unless they think they're stealing from some other woman.

I wonder how many of these women in these experiments actually just thought they don't need to be wary about this man mistaking friendliness for flirting, since clearly he's not looking to date as he's already making someone else miserable.

I got halfway through the first paragraph above and thought of course women are nicer to men they think are married, the’re not worried about being hit on

God forbid these men just talk to women before they go off doing “research”.

im bi but when im around younger women and they seem to be stiff and cold with me i just mention being gay and they’re immediately very relieved. like yeah no i get that we’re the only two people at the quilt guild meeting under 50. but do not for an instant think i came here to pick up chicks. im raiding the free fabric table like beatrix potter squirrel.

i mean i would like a girlfriend, probably, but what i really want from a woman is sixty years of experience and a big box of free fabric she needs to put in someone else’s basement.

I knew having Redditors cross-train on Tumblr would produce weird fucking magic.

It gets better. This Redditor went the full Goncharov.

Glorbcharov: Dishonor Among AI Thieves

"what that mouth do babygirl?"

cast spells. invoke the ancients. and hurt your feelings probably

Where's your safe place?

I dunno if this has been posted yet, but.....

Keep this shit off AO3

We don't want that kind of pearl clutching 'christian' conservative sitting on the AO3 board. Keep Moms For Liberty out of our fanfiction.

this is the second fucking year in a row someone has tried to pull this crap. but if you're still on the fence about it (though fair warning, I am not copying everything she wrote as a response, which you can read on the OTW website):

Also, just for some proof of the "Republican" part, from Twitter:

like, it's not a pejorative, it's how she's self-identified

also, ENTIRELY unrelated to this crap, but she's only been a volunteer for about a year and a lot of her answers to questions about ongoing problems is "I don't know because I've only been here a year." she doesn't even know what PAC is.