yourbrightlight

Overthinkers need partners who naturally express their love through reassurance.

your twenties are about realising you’re not and simply aren’t going to be dazzlingly cool the way you wanted to be and tried to be in your teenage years, that you’ll never be that image you tried to chisel yourself into—but that you have grown quite accidentally and organically cool in an entirely new way and you don’t mind the unexpectedness of it. not at all

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You’re beautiful

Above post by someone called chai @proyearner​ on Twitter says: “executive dysfunction is crazy. like why do I have to drag my brain kicking and screaming into doing the things that we love & that actively bring us joy”

Ouch. That hits hard.

#this is why I live by forks theory instead of spoon theory. #battle of the silverware let’s go

I saw this on FB today and I wanna try and express something about it. Like, you know the curbcutter effect? Where when curbcuts are put in it benefits everyone (bicyclists, people with baby strollers etc) and not just disabled people?

There is also whatever the opposite of the curbcutter effect is. And this is that.

This isn't just anti-adhd/autism propaganda... this is anti-child propaganda.

Kids have developmentally appropriate ways that they need to move their bodies and express themselves and sitting perfectly still staring straight ahead is not natural or good for ANY CHILD.

Don't get me wrong, I was punished unduly as a kid for being neurodivergent (and other types of kid will ALSO be punished unduly for it... Black kids come to mind) and thus UNABLE to perform this -- but even the kids who ARE able to perform this type of behavior are not SERVED WELL by it. They don't benefit from it.

This is bad for everyone.

The idea that bc some kids may be capable of complying with unfair expectations, those expectations don't hurt them... is a dangerous idea. Compliance isn't thriving. Expectation of compliance isn't fair treatment.

The image above expresses the attitude towards children I grew up with, in a fairly conservative United States suburb in the 1990′s. Expectations for children’s behavior were strict, and when children failed to meet them, their parents were blamed publicly and privately, to a traumatizing degree. 

When I went to the Kids R Us, Toys R Us, even the supermarket I constantly heard parents yelling and nagging at their kids over virtually nothing, and telling them not to cry. Kids had their own segregated food (unhealthy, tasteless fast food and pizza), clothing, and activities (full of plastic junk toys and meaningless crafts that would get thrown out the day they were made). 

Parenting advice was everywhere, in grocery checkout aisles and doctor’s waiting rooms, with the format “push button, receive behavior” and the goal of making kids do what you wanted easily, without conflict. It drove my mom frantic that it never worked for neurodivergent kids like hers. 

In school, we had to get permission to go to the bathroom. I’ll never forget nearly wetting myself for a half an hour waiting for the kids with the passes to return. I learned that even my most basic basic bodily needs were unimportant and unacceptable.

No one seemed to think kids were actual people, and the segregation and contempt pissed me off even when I was young enough to use a kid’s menu. The anger and hurt are still there, under the surface.

And yes, I was one of those kids who couldn’t focus on busywork or stand in line for a long time. I’d wander off to dance or draw or I’d just let my imagination wander, “zoning out.” It’s the same old story everyone in neurodivergent communities hears ad infinitum. 

Meanwhile, I was told, and I believed, that school was designed for all the other kids, who seemed to do what was expected without struggle. Many of them even seemed content with school and life. It made me feel even worse about myself. I didn’t understand that they were suffering, too, until I saw my generation and then Gen Z going through the resulting mental health crisis.

Somehow, I never realized that strict expectations that require kids to go against their own needs, that teach kids their basic needs don’t matter, are a reverse curb cut effect.

Yes. All kids deserve better.

Neurodivergent ones are just the canary in the coal mine. Things that hurt neurodivergent kids, tend to be bad for everyone.

Thank you for pointing this out, OP.

Shout out to people with auditory processing disorder!!!

what?

*holds up a sign that says “Shout out to people with auditory processing disorder!!!”*

*before the sign is fully up* Oh! Thank you for the support!!!

Happy 64th Birthday to the blonde icon, #Barbie 💕 To celebrate, I created these glam party designs featuring Barbie & her iconic friends #Teresa & #Christie. My fave eras from Barbie are late 90s/early-mid 2000s, so those years served as inspo for these. Which look is your fave? 💜💖💚

For me, Barbie has always been about serving a fantasy…an escape from the real world. I never saw her as a “regular” or “ordinary” girl, & she never needed to be…she’s a fashion doll! She was about unapologetic glamour, luxury, sophistication & high quality designs, but she could also be youthful, edgy & daring when she wanted to be. I would love to see Barbie return to her true essence & unapologetic form someday…where we see the kind of design aesthetic & quality reminiscent of her glory years for e.g, collections like #FashionAvenue, #FashionFever, #MyScene, #TopModel etc. Barbie is an icon, & I want to see her serving looks that reflect that fantasy again, both in playline & collector lines. #BarbieMillicentRoberts #BarbieDoll #Mattel #Barbara #Pink https://www.instagram.com/p/Cpkyb7cMEU6/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Glad to find someone who adores Barbie as much as me too!

sometimes i forget how reading is just. marvelous. just an absolutely fucking endlessly joyful activity. i’ll go about my life and not read one single book for months and be like why am i morose! why am i so apathetic! what is missing here!!!! and try to look for whatever it is that is lacking and never find it anywhere and i get so tired and sad and angry, and then i’m finally like i’m gonna stop everything for a couple days and read a really good book bc i don’t care about anything else. and suddenly i get motivated to work bc i know i’ll read when i’m on break. i get more creative. i want to watercolor again and bust out the shameful fabric stash with all my unfinished sewing projects. god even my dreams get more vivid!! what the fuck! and i’m like here is the magic i was looking for, why did i ever think i was going to find it anywhere else. it was always here!!!