Oh that’s an interesting thought.
Personally, I also don’t think Claire was ever meant by the writers to be a permanent partner to Carmy. Narratively, she’s a device to show us that even with a girlfriend who’s potentially perfect for him (kind, easygoing, draws him out, knows his history enough to understand him without him having to explain it, works a high-stress job with inhospitable hours and so understands his own unholy schedule), Carmy cannot get it together.
Because it’s not her, it’s him. I think they went as blameless as possible with Claire to avoid an “everyone hates Skyler White” situation, and so she wound up a little bland, but I think the point was to make it clear that the stumbling block was always going to be Carmy’s own self-sabotage. Or, really, how actually fucked up he is under the surface, and how out of touch he is with his own emotions.
The thing about Carmy, as the target of emotional abuse his whole life, is that he’s now on some levels a people pleaser. He doesn’t say no easily to people he likes. He makes promises he can’t keep, not because he doesn’t want to keep them but because he fears disappointing anyone he cares about. So he says yes, even when he knows he shouldn’t. He promises his time to Sydney, but in the moment he goes along with whatever Claire wants to do, because saying no would disappoint her. He says yes to any challenge he’s pointed at even if it makes him have panic attacks and throw up every day before work.
I may be projecting here a little because I recognize the pattern in myself, as someone who also has CPTSD from emotional abuse (by a former partner in my case, his mom in Carmy’s). But I think Carmy has so locked himself off from processing his emotions that he barely knows himself, and I think it’s likely that he experiences the same thing I have, which is a deep seated kind of fear that if you disappoint the people you love they will stop loving you. And on a more practical level, if you say no, what if it causes a meltdown from the other person? You don’t want that. You can only control the situation by “yes and”-ing your way through, ignoring your own misgivings to prioritize the other person— whether that’s something they would want you to do or not.
That is unfortunately no way to run a relationship. Certainly not when you’re also trying to open a restaurant, and have angry bees where your brain cells should be. Now, I’m not saying Carmy could never have a functioning relationship or should deny himself that at all— that’s all or nothing thinking, which Carmy excels at. But this one was never going to work with Carmy as he is right now. And that’s in spite of Claire being, on paper, perfect for him, not due to any flaws of her own. And that’s intentional.
Anyway there are my Claire/Carmy thoughts, brought to you by being woken up at 4 AM by a really loud thunderstorm.