(source)

i’d like to point out that when i made this post, all of these comments were at the top, but now if you look at the thread they’ve been replaced by completely different comments 

so please, for the love of god, look at the source link this thread is a neverending source of entertainment. people have added so much fucking shit since i made this

I was proctoring an exam for a student today while reading these, and I had to stop because I got to this one and almost fucking died

these are making my day

Okay, this one’s killing me:

These ones got me:

Ooohhh noo I can’t breathe and there are literal tears streaming down my face

Have a very, VERY good laugh people

this post is missing the BEST ONE:

Sleep deprivation is a HELL of a drug isn’t it

i like how most usernames on discord are already taken so you end up having to put numbers at the end of your name anyway. if only there was already a system in place that allowed people to have the same name but there was something to differentiate them like number discriminators

this is because it was not actually about the discriminators. discord lied about how many people struggled with the previous system because, in actuality, it was some higher-up types that didn’t get it. there was some theorising somewhere that the change is ti facilitate datamining, which would make sense as there’s no other reason to try to make people this perfectly identifiable.

btw as it stands they’re not allowing ppl to ever change their users again so DO NOT pick a bullshit name hoping you’ll get your preferred name later. once it’s in use, it’s not fucking available.

so far, the main thing to do is to reach out thru discord’s support page to tell them how bad a fucking idea is, stop paying for nitro, and have a look at this support thread, which has insanely comprehensive information sources. there’s a change.org petition somewhere in there, too.

but yeah. tl;dr the “nobody understands discriminators <:(” is a distraction.

id really recommend people read the support thread linked here if you have the time. if you think this username thing is just people being upset over nothing then the support thread will inform you of the concerns people have

this is absolutely fucking pathetic now every single fucking streaming service is gonna start doing this shit. all y'all had to do was not watch Netflix and let it flop for a few months and they would have given up

Neuralink is going to be eugenics by the way.

It's focused on "curing" disabled people.

There are implants that work for some. But he is expicitly trying to "solve" autism and schizophrenia. He does not want disabled people to exist.

Musk is not a friend to disabled people or animals.

It is going to be eugenics and marketed as cures for disabled people.

I want to expand a little bit:

It is eugenics if it works, and if it does not work.

As it stands, so many animals did not survive animal testing. It is nowhere near ready to be used on people. The FDA fucked up big time and people will probably die, especially those that doctors do not give a shit about and are getting desperate for help. It's not going to be just cryptobros and Elon's bootlickers.

You want to know how I know?

If it wasn't done by Elon Musk, I may have considered it for my photosensitivity. The website for the company has no mention of Elon. Neither does their twitter. LinkedIn might have it, but this is important to know because of his direction with Twitter and Spacex (Remember? Rocket fucking exploded?). People will be put off by his name being associated, and they know that.

Let's say it worked by a miracle, for argument's sake.

Disabled people would be pressured to get a surgery they may not even want. It will be sold as a "cure" for any disability. Anyone who rejects it will be seen as wanting to be disabled.

It can be taken advantage of really easily. Shit goes wrong in IT all the time. I work on an IT helpdesk for a huge company for fuck's sake. Who is going to afford the chips? Who can they be serviced by? It's another bid for a monopoly from Musk because I will promise you that they will come out of it like Apple with intentionally hostile design. You are handing control of the most crucial organ in your body to a company- and even that organ is not fully understood and can unexpected things happen. There's no fucking IT helpdesk for brains.

Do not get it. Discourage anyone from getting it. Encourage people to look into self-advocacy or self-diagnosis to keep anyone from this quack doctor.

Here's the actual indictment of former President Trump which the Justice Department just unsealed.

rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3

we are in the midst of a true Real One

can we all agree that being overdressed is a myth made up by boring stuffy people who are too worried about other people’s lives and don’t want you to have fun

conversely, can we all agree that being underdressed is a myth made up by stuffy classist people who are too worried about other people’s lives and don’t want you to be comfortable or happy

holy shit

A 2017 classic updated for the new game.

"Why don't people recognize Link in TOTK" bc everyone imagines the legendary swordsman to be built like Ganondorf and Link doesn't bother correcting anyone bc being hailed as a hero is like on the bottom of his priorities, which are topped by things like "Bake one of every pie"

Rando farmer: They say that once the noble hero of legend passed by this very village! Isn't that wonderful to imagine, genderfluid stranger?

Link, 5'6" with 2" heels and wearing a backless dress suspiciously stained with blood: no yeah that's wild

"Wouldn't they recognize him bc he's with Zelda" Everyone interacting with Zelda was like "Wow, the princess!! The princess who saved Hyrule is here, talking to us! Plus some guy with three sets of pronouns who's building a bomb but more importantly The Princess!! Wow!!"

New Things to Beware on the Internet

On May 3rd, Google released 8 new top-level domains (TLDs) -- these are new values like .com, .org, .biz, domain names. These new TLDs were made available for public registration via any domain registrar on May 10th.

Usually, this should be a cool info, move on with your life and largely ignore it moment.

Except a couple of these new domain names are common file type extensions: ".zip" and ".mov".

This means typing out a file name could resolve into a link that takes you to one of these new URLs, whether it's in an email, on your tumblr blog post, a tweet, or in file explorer on your desktop.

What was previously plain text could now resolve as link and go to a malicious website where people are expecting to go to a file and therefore download malware without realizing it.

Folk monitoring these new domain registrations are already seeing some clearly malicious actors registering and setting this up. Some are squatting the domain names trying to point out what a bad idea this was. Some already trying to steal your login in credentials and personal info.

This is what we're seeing only 12 days into the domains being available. Only 5 days being publicly available.

What can you do? For now, be very careful where you type in .zip or .mov, watch what website URLs you're on, don't enable automatic downloads, be very careful when visiting any site on these new domains, and do not type in file names without spaces or other interrupters.

I'm seeing security officers for companies talking about wholesale blocking .zip and .mov domains from within the company's internet, and that's probably wise.

Be cautious out there.

I really want to reiterate how this can go wrong frequently and fast, folks.

A malicious actor sets up a page with an auto-downloader squatting on a domain name that matches a common zip file name like photos DOT zip. This website is set up to start an auto downloader upon being visited, downloading a zip file with the same name as the URL which contains malicious software (virus, worm, keylogger, etc).

Scenario.

Someone you know well sends you an email or text with promised photos attached. The email even reads something like this.

Because .zip is now a TLD, that plain text is automatically formatted into a link to malicious actor's website without them having to send you anything.

Folk with family with iPhones or iPads that are sent multiple photos in one go might be familiar with iCloud's tendency to automatically compile them into zip file for the sender and less savvy tech users have trouble NOT doing that.

These same less savvy users, or even just someone just not thinking in the moment, will click that .zip link, not realizing it isn't the the same as clicking on the promised attachment.

They download a file that matches the name they expected. They open it because they were expecting that file and it's from a trusted source. Except the file they downloaded isn't the one that was sent by their trusted source and now they have malware.

Another Scenario.

An IT person tries to send you an email with instructions on how to resolve a problem with a commonly used filename like install-repair DOT zip or to install new software like microsoft-office DOT zip.

The email may start with instructions of where to go get the legitimate file to do the install or repair, but now a line later in the instructions is also has a link to a .zip URL. A user, already frazzled by IT problems, may click it to ensure they have the right file. Again, they download malicious code from a squatting website or it prompts them with a fake login and now the squatting website has stolen their login credentials for a legitimate site. All due to an expected email from a trusted source.

Above you can see microsoft-office DOT zip is already out there with a fake Microsoft login screen waiting to steal your credentials.

These risks are already out there now because the TLD has been activated.

Plain text on old post are already being resolved into links to the new websites.

Here you can see a tweet from 2021, long before .zip was a domain name, now resolves that plan text into a clickable link. You'll start seeing this everywhere, and malicious actors do not have to lift a finger to send it to you.

Yes, a lot of users aren't going to click that, but a lot of folk will. Whomever is squatting on photos DOT zip domain name has made a one time payment to have access to anyone that ever sees that file name typed out.

In an example of an existing squatter site, clientdocs DOT zip is exactly one such pre-setup .zip domain name that initiates an automatic download. This one may be harmless, but the set ups are already out there and waiting to catch folk.

It's an unnecessary and risky can of worms that's been opened up.

Holy Unforced Errors, Batman.

This needs a caption

Just woke up from a dream where one of my Tumblr mutuals taught me about an image processing transform called the "communist transform" that was... apparently part of some specific open source movement to track changes in DRM'ed media?

and I pulled out a whiteboard and fucking worked through a 4x4 example by hand

I think my brain is broken

@medium-amount-of-gay asked for more context, so: this is the code for the Communist Transform (it's basically a five-point estimation of Gaussian curvature?)

and here's what it actually looks like (on a picture of Karl Marx for thematic coherency)

I have no idea what it has to do with communism, or open source software, or anything, but that's dream logic for you. I'm just kind of amazed that something someone told me in a dream was mathematically coherent enough to code it at all.

Oh, it's really sensitive to pixel-level noise. I blurred the original image and it's a lot clearer what's going on -- it's an edge detector.

you see, this is the communist transform because the low signal represents the proletariat and the high signal represents the bourgeoisie, and therefore

...the funny thing is, you were the mutual who taught me this in my dream

detective pikachu came out four years ago why did no one (except sonic after ugly sonic) take notes

this works

this also works

this does NOT

Every episode about Data is like

"Unfortunately I am incapable of emotion," he said sadly.

writers shouldn't need to go on strike – but when we do, we're funny as fuck.

some of my personal faves, taken from a longer twitter thread by jenny yang. learn more about the strike here.

the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World’s End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore

who thought of that idea? who thought “put davy jones in a bucket of water” and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went “hey that sounds like a great idea!”

at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it

*stands majestically in a bucket*

ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in

It’s even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the first place.

Some folks are asking “well, if he can avoid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn’t that ruin his whole motivation?”, but he’s not on dry land here.

The parley takes place on a sandbar - which, for the unfamiliar, is a temporary “island” of sand deposited by breaking waves, unconnected with the shore, that spends most of its time submerged, being exposed only at low tide.

What Jones is doing here is rules-lawyering his curse. Can you imagine the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this would actually work?

“Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the shore below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoals? What if I stand in a pool of water on a shoal? Does it have to be seawater, or will any water do? Does it have to be a natural tidepool, or can it be something artificial, like a bucket?”

What I am saying is that there must have been a process.

Pretty sure that this implies that the reverse - a bucket of sand, floating on the water (big bucket with just a bit of sand), would qualify as dry land. That’s absurd, so I’m pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse governor.

It may be absurd, but the text of the film bears it out. Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it’s at sea, but not while it’s on land (indeed, that’s why he buried it on land in the first place: to break his connection with it) - yet placing the heart in a simple jar of dirt conceals it from Jones’ awareness just as surely as burial on land does, even if the jar is on a boat at the time. Suitably prepared vessels filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jones’ curse.

Then the reverse should also be true. If he buried it in a jar of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to sense it. So by this logic, any container of seawater counts as not dry land, ergo, the bucket is a perfectly viable loophole.

Not necessarily. It’s traditionally a lot easier to accidentally get whammied by a curse than it is to weasel around it - I figure that’s why he’s using multiple layers of indirection here. He’s forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it’s technically not dry land (it’s a sandbar, a non-permanent landform exposed only at low tide) and he technically didn’t set foot on it (he’s standing in a bucket of water). It’s entirely possible that either one of those things alone wouldn’t make the grade.

okay but this all raises one further, very important question: if it’s specifically “dry land” he’s forbidden from, what about wetlands. can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he throw down in a peat bog?Swamp Battle?

This is the quality content I come to Tumblr for.

could he step on land if his shoes are wet?

No matter how ridiculous PotC gets I will love it. Especially when it results in conversations like this

What if he crawls around on his hands and knees, with his feet raised slightly into the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or a wheelchair?

can he be in a wheelbarrow?

What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air balloon, or in the claws of a giant bird?

What if he’s carried by two swallows using a strand of creeper?

European swallows or African swallows?

this whole thread reads like a conversation between these two:

In fact im not entirely sure that it wasn’t their idea in the first place