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I made a fool of myself today and I will make a fool of myself tomorrow. Good night

ive never said 1 coherent thing in my life

she knocked that smug look off my face but luckily i was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath

why is that so fuckin funny

 I’m a huge supporter of things which annoy misogynistic rich white men

To All the Mutuals I Still Follow Even Though We Only Had That One Hyperfixation in Common Like Five Years Ago

Why is this so funny skdkska

college is like *gets an email* *walks somewhere* *realizes u left ur water bottle at home* *walks somewhere* *walks somewhere* *gets an email* *gets an email*

Spongebob Squarepants: Squid on Strike

“buy me mcdonalds and touch my butt”

me after a quiet day in: Time for a quiet night in

oh mine god, i accidentally hath sent thou a picture of mine cock and balls...prithee delete it!! 'Lest...thou desire to look? haha I jest, delete it...should thee crave... haha nay, banish it...'lest?

whole foods employee catches me stealing valuable artichoke water and tries to apprehend me but i quickly jump through one of his gauges and escape

i see this post maybe once or twice in a year and every time. every goddamn time it sidelines me with those last 8 words and i lose my shit