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Scariest shit I’ve ever seen….

when ur teacher doesnt erase all the markings off the whiteboard

This kills the student.

the lady at the sandwich shop today was like “that’ll be 4.20 luv, would you like it toasted?” and i nodded and said “blaze it” and the guy working the sandwich toaster lost it 

my mom ordered two different pizzas from two different places cause she had coupons and they both got here at the same time so we had a pizza hut delivery guy and a dominos delivery guy both standing by our front door and the dominos guy looks at the pizza hut guy and proceeds to sing Why Can’t We Be Friends? while the pizza hut guy just glares at him

15 years from now, can they form a pop girls group?

WANT. I wish this was in stores omg that’s so stupid

YOOOO I FOUND IT ONLINE HERE

THANK YOU

yo this is what i bought

GIMME

AW

AWWWW

AWWWWWW

AWWWWWWWW

AWWWWWWWWWW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWW

I’ve shipped this since before I even knew what shipping was.

Right in my childhood feels. 

when someone tells me that fast food is bad for your health

what do you call a drunk basketball player

a slaM DRUNK

you know what fuck you i was gonna say tequille o’neal but no you had to blow my punchline out of the water i cant even win a fucking coin flip let alone my own text posts i hate this website i am logging off goodbye jack let go and drown you poor-ass frozen peice of shIT

I WASN’T PLANNING ON CRYING TODAY BUT HI.

so when i came out and told my mom i was gay my mom said she loved me anyway and then we heard my sister yell from the other room “can someone answer the phone” and my mom goes “what its not ringing” and she yells back “BECAUSE I FUCKING CALLED IT” and my mom yelled at her

*sleigh bells jingle ominously in the distance*

The cat isn’t set on fire, it is a bit of her fur. Chill.

I despise people.

I hate people.

LET ME TELL ALL OF YOU A LITTLE STORY! when I was a youngin, I had a neighbor about my age with a bunch of cats. There was one he had that he called Coco, and she was a beautiful little brown tabby who was most definitely the runt of her litter. So she was easier to pick on. This fucker set her whiskers on fire. WHISKERS ARE THE MOST SENSITIVE PART ON A CATS BODY. THEY USE THEM TO NAVIGATE IN THE DARK. This little cat came over to our house singed and in massive amounts of pain, and she never came out of our house again. Her name is Heidibelle, she has lived with us for eight years now, and she acts like a mother cat would towards my brother, sister, and myself. Every night she goes into all of our rooms to make sure we are safe and sleeping soundly. If one of us is upset, she comes to make sure we are okay. My Heidibelle is lucky, and I think she knows it because she has gifted us by being an amazing, loving kitty when she had every right to be distrustful of people everywhere.

HARMING ANIMALS IS SERIAL KILLER BEHAVIOR! YOU ARE A SICK, TWISTED, AWFUL HUMAN BEING IF YOU THINK HARMING INNOCENT ANIMALS IS FUN! Instead of regulating gun laws, we should regulate pet owners. My Heidibelle was lucky, but not every creature is. NO ANIMAL DESERVES TO BE IN A HOME LIKE THIS NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU “DONT LIKE CATS” OR “ARENT A DOG PERSON” OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO HARM A CREATURE THAT, WHEN GIVEN THE CHANCE, WANTS NOTHING BUT LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE.

Now everyone fucking forgive me I gotta get off tumblr and hug all my animals because this shit pisses me off and hurts my heart more than anything else ever could.

Her real name is listed someone should file an animal abuse complaint and have her pay for this. She lives in Redlands, California.

[robin thicke voice] hey hey hey

[justin timberlake voice] bye bye bye

adventures in school

British Names For Things (x)

Semi Transparent Lips & Nails (changes colour with your blog background - drag it!)

OH YMG OSH THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED IT TO BE

This. Is bad ass.

Ohmygoodness, it looks so cool on my page!

omg ogmomg THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED AT ALL

Beautiful.

I FUCKING FIGURED IT OUT

THE ‘THE’ IS SIDEWAYS, RIGHT?

BECAUSE YOU READ THE THE WITH ALL THREE OF THE PHRASES

‘IMAGINE THE SKY’

‘HOW IS THE SKY’

‘TOUCH THE SKY’

IT’S STILL FUCKING STUPID BUT I FIGURED IT THE FUCK OUT

YOU ARE A FUCKING GOD AMONG MEN.