Broccoli

person: *points at leg* why is your leg shaking

me: well my pal my buddy I am full of anxiety

Kids be so damn cute and innocent like how

Awwww

This story was different actually??? And even better??? The girl, Brooklyn Andracke, used to wave at the truck every thursday and the trashman waved her back. It was a very important to her to do it every week.  It was HER birthday, and she decided that she wanted to share her birthday cake with the trashman. She also wanted to meet her hero, whose name is Delvar Dopson.

The girl’s mother thanked Delvar for his work and explained to him how important it is for Brooklyn to wave at him every thursday. He was pretty surprised but he admitted that every time he drove near the house he hoped that the girl would wave at him.  That’s not the end of the story though. Next week Delvar had a surprise for the little girl.

He brought her a bunch of amazing birthday gifts!

They both got quite popular, and Delvar is getting a lot of thank you messages from trashmen from all over the world for representing them in such a good way.

The real story is even cuter 😩💕

when i first saw this i thought the kittens were the lawyers

Me currently

fresh off the boat, s02e11

i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me

I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.

At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee

a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and  whispered “count olaf”

once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”

A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.

Drunk girls, saving your life one wtf at a time.

one time a drunk girl started crying because she said she loved my eyebrows so much

a drunk girl in blue pants, a white shirt, and a black vest held a broken bathroom stall door closed for me at a bar one night and i, another drunk girl, kept referring to her as “my hero, my han solo”

a drunk girl who was dancing on the bar one night saw me (still done up from the jazz concert I’d performed in earlier) and screamed when I moved because she thought I was a mannequin and followed me around all night telling me how pretty i was. drunk girls are too pure for this earth.

And they said college would be harder than high school…

i am dying to know what jerry and robby did to invoke the wrath of the professor

throwback to me in high school

hahaha why is harry potter flinging around a condom what is this from

HE HAS THE GRYFFINDOR COLORS ON

what if i ordered pizza in the middle of the hurricane.

they yelled at me.

what if we pronounced female like tamale

tamale isn’t even a fucking word you fucking dipshits. the singular term is TAMAL. “betty ate a fucking tamal. plural is TAMALES. betty and the hoes ate some fucking tamales. i swear if i see another person say or use tamale i will implode. 

anyways imagine if we pronounced female like tamale

*thinks abt a boy for .00001 seconds* oh mygod!!! shut the fuck up hoe!!! he ain’t thinking about you!!

not sure if my mother knows what this means

I physically cannot breathe

Why don’t jedis turn off their opponents lightsabers by force pressing the button?

I’m laughing so hard because instead of the epic lightsaber fight they’d just be aggressively switching them on and off could you imagine