I’m sorry if I sound crazy right now, it’s just that, I’m going crazy. And I’m feeling alone. And you’re next to me. I shouldn’t feel alone with you here. You aren’t listening when I’m talking. There’s blood in my mouth from biting the inside of my cheek so hard. And you’re asking about my day. I’m sorry I can’t answer right now or even think right now. I might crash my car on my way home from your house, lay my head down on the steering wheel and pretend it’s your lap. Are you understanding me now? Do you hear me? I think I’m not making sense I think my head is too loud. I hope you still like me tomorrow. Because I don’t like me now and I don’t remember a time when I did.
Is this okay? Is this too much? I hope I’m the love of your life.
Jasmin Lee Cori, The Emotionally Absent Mother: How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect
Anonymous asked:
how do you know everything you know? how does one get to the place that you are now?
You need to construct and maintain an irrational and unwavering belief in yourself. Take the right drugs at the right times. Modafinil when you need to learn, psilocybin when you need to understand, MDMA when you need to fall in love. Do no wait for anybody to deliver what they had promised. Do not grow stagnant and resentful. Instead, destroy everything that you have, just to rebuild it, just to prove to yourself that you can. And when you feel that you have finally made it to the end, understand that you are only at the beginning
“I need to stop fantasizing about running away to some other life, and start figuring out the one I have.”
— Holly Black
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