This Is A Thing That Is Happening

Oxford, 25.01.20

“trans joy is real”

I love it so much when cartoon villains are like, "horrid greetings, your vile wretchedness," or "foul morning," "disgusting evening," "wicked nightmares," "sleep abominably, and bite the bed-bugs back" instead of normal salutations

req’d by @falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand

oh no my ride’s here

text: Beep Beep mental illness is here

scientist girls in their labs, witch girls in their cottages. both are oh so hard at work coming up with new types of beams to shoot at each other

they are sending their familiars and their lab assistants to fight each other in the forests and in the parking lots

They go to the bar afterwards 

astronomy club sent up a weather balloon w a gopro in it last friday. put in three packs of fruit snacks so they could have a giggle over eating fruit snacks that had been to space.

balloon went up into inner space, about 90,000 feet. came down right near the dinosaur park. a few physics teachers drive out to get it, crack it open on the way home to start watching the footage.

fruit snacks are missing.

multiple sources confirm that fruit snacks were put in balloon and sealed in with duct tape. physics teachers check entire balloon. no fruit snacks.

physics teachers watch footage. all 7 hours of it. right in the middle of footage, there are about 8 minutes of visual and audio static when balloon is in orbit. no other interference with balloon recorded.

conclusions: ???????

aliens stole yo fruit snacks

I’ve been a UFO enthusiast for 2/3rds of my life and this is the most convincing alien encounters story I have ever heard.

i fully intend to haunt people when i die

It’s the *Memento Mori* as a threat that really sells this.

please, for fuck’s sake, raise the eligibility age to 18 in every single sport. there is literally no need for kids to be olympians anyway.

I can’t think of a single good reason for literal 14 year olds to be competing as ‘seniors’ in their sports, but I can think of plenty of good reasons for the age to be raised to 18 for all sports.

Wishbone (his real name was Soccer) was born on May 17th, 1988

Happy birthday Wishbone!

they’re having a fundamentally different experience

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

ID: A tag which reads #women are like diamonds because they are pretty and also are in minecraft sometimes /end ID

I’m totally gonna do it

Oh uh I of course would never…

well if you are bitchin about me “stealing” off the ground im gonna come back at 2am with a pair of solid pliers and show you what theft is

You Wouldn’t Steal a Leaf

Jonathan Harker, a man who only yesterday was physically and mentally obliterated by paprika, is largely unphased by the locals being very clearly disapproving of his decision to visit his cool new friend, DRACULA.

steadily recognizing that i’m allowed to exist in public spaces and not feel embarrassed about it… can you believe i used to feel weird about/too inadequate to sit on a bench in a public space. it’s ok. you’re allowed to be. just be. just sit on a bench. it’s ok

The trick to getting to this point is to just think of yourself as an extra in a movie.

I used to be so self conscious about existing in public but I’ve slowly realized that if I just saw some random fat guy in the background of a movie I probably wouldn’t even think about him.

This is why I’ve come to describing myself as just some guy. I’m just some guy! Nobody gets mad at just some guy for reading a nutrition label in the grocery store. He’s just some dude. He’s a part of The Public. The Masses. The Customers. That’s what this place was made for!

Oh good I’m going to get a good grade in Being a NPC, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve

MYTH: Americans set off fireworks on the 4th of July, in honor of our Independence Day

FACT: Americans set off fireworks from approximately June 20th—July 20th, for no reason other than this is the time of year that you can literally buy them at any grocery store

hey btw if you wanna read dracula in real time as it happens you can have the chapters delivered to you via e-mail by signing up here:

it's fun

these tags are so funny

#like a lizard you say

people i met for the first time at a painting night watching me block in an ominous black silhouette: are you okay? what’s wrong with you??? me: oh, it’s a little something called essek brainrot

i can’t believe liam o’brien has seen my art