Cool Beans

If you're a cashier in cashier training always remember if someone's buying toilet paper you should ask them are you going to do some shitting later cuz it'll show your interested and attentive I wrote this post using text to speech on my phone

Accurate

Inaccurate when I say I’m not very political it’s because I’m not. I’m a libertarian that leans conservative but politics bore me.

The next post on this dudes blog is about how women are naturally inferior

“i’m a libertarian” right so you just a conservative that likes weed and sometimes decides not to vote

finally remembered where this quote came from: enola holmes (2020)

This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏ Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏? For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅‍♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME. Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨‍✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨.

The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while

I liked this post, scrolled for like another minute before I went “SHIT FUCK SHIT” and scrolled back to reblog it

AJDHNFNCKWFKSNC,JAKD;FA ALWAYS REBLOG

This mans dedication to making sure there are individual background characters

I also love how he always make the "unsure person not comfortable around cameras who can't help but quickly give a glance to the camera every two seconds" thing even though he's clearly good at acting

Which of these wholesome Memes are your Favourite? :) 

Follow @memeuplift for more wholesome memes

currently sobbing

Passing on the good feels to everyone

Enough I can only take so much happiness

Dunno who needs to see this, but here you go 💛

And there I go again reblogging it at the speed of light

Have a good time y'all ;))

Keith Haring with models wearing clothing painted with his designs at the opening of his exhibition at the Tony Shafrazi Gallery in SoHo, December 1983.  

Photos by Allan Tannenbaum

I'm gonna get surgery to turn me into an early 2000's wizard gif

The procedure was a success

so a 90’s computer hacker was at walmart today

everything i have ever needed

“My wife’s horse has a problem with flies bothering his leg wound so she harnessed her Doctoral degree and fashioned him jean suspenders…”

(Source: Ben Voytas)

Jorse

finally, an answer to how a horse would wear jeans

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER | S4E9: Something Blue Original Airdate: November 30, 1999

Non-Newtonian fluid, the more force you put into it, the more it resists | source

ooblek

This guy after 7 minutes of thinking about it:

why did I find a reaction image in the cemetery

this goes sailing through my window after making a bad post