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Official Rubber Duck

@battleblaze

Banner art by @galvanized-art.
Genderfluid, but almost always non-binary. Poly relationships and qpp rights. co-author for Orphan’s Path, feel free to send asks ig
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my teacher accused me of plagiarizing my creative writing assignment because she thought the words I used were beyond my reading level. She couldn't find it online, though, so instead she had me stay after class and quizzed me on my own story. Then she phoned my mom to verify that I was, in fact, capable of using words like "vertigo" and "palpate"

A teacher claimed i was lying about who i was and gave someone else a afterschool detention for wearing headphones because she thought i was that kid

"average cat owner spends 3 years in prison" factoid actualy just statistical error. average owner spends 0 years in prison. Miette's mother, who kicked her body like the football and went to jail for One Thousand Years is an outlier adn should not have been counted

One day, Clark is bored at work so he messages Bruce saying as much, hoping they could talk for a bit to help pass the time.

What he did not expect was for Bruce to tweet 'ostriches arn't real'.

The office becomes alive with activity. Perry marches over and tells Clark to write an article about how one of the richest men in the world does not believe a bird exists.

The interview?

Clark Kent: "Would you care to elaborate on what you meant about not believing ostriches exist?"

Bruce Wayne: "No."

Others then ask Bruce what his thoughts on other birds are. Penguins? Real. Flamingos? Not real. Pigeons? Some are, some arn't. It depends.

On the upside Clark's afternoon became a whole lot less boring. On the downside there is now a Twitter account called 'BirdsBruceWThinksArntReal'.

“robins?” clark asks as the last question.  “robins aren’t birds.” 

You CANNOT leave such a BRILLIANT addition in the tags

fakehermes-deactivated20170207
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powerviolent

A CLOUD FELL?

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motherfuckingurl

Snow?

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spookyaddiction

that is bubble soap. someone has made a tragic mistake

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geekgirlsmash

Let me tell you a story.

My mom had a hot tub, she traded a refrigerator for it. One day the water needed changed, and I went to her, the darling teenager that I was, and said, “Mom, can we put bubble bath in the hot tub?”

She looked at me like I’d lost my damned mind, a look that I got from my mom a lot.

“But, mom, we’re going to be changing the water!,” I insisted. 

She told me I could, so I called all of my friends, because dear god I was putting bubble bath in the fucking hot tub, and this might be the best thing I’d done in my entire life. And with a full size bottle of bubble bath in hand we all got in the hot tub, I upended the whole bottle, and turned on the jets. 

The bubbles started rising at an alarming rate, soon I could see nothing but bubbles because they’d engulfed my head. There was much laughter as we all got buried in the foam. After awhile I finally stood up. There were three feet of solid bubbles towering above the hot tub, the deck looked about like the picture above, there were bubbles in the trees, and wafting into my neighbors’ lawns. Everything was bubbles, and to date it still might be the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. 

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chirotus

I’m adding this to my bucket list

LET me on the bed i promise i wont lay on top of you and squish u under my big dog weight please ple please please let me up i promise i'll lay only on a fair amount of bed for me and not take up all the space :3 please pleas (lying)

why do you live with the wolf from The Thing

@ every parent in the world: yes your kid is special because every child is special but they are not specialer than every other child so please be normal about them

Some parents have done what I can only describe as fandomize their child where they’ve taken the child and altered it in their mind to make a cooler version that fits their specific interests, and now sometimes I have to remind them of the canon material.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a youth theater director and teacher. Every audition season is a personal ordeal.

Target audience reached

EXACTLY

but they don't care about the burnout. everyone is burnt out, they tell me. who isn't burnt out!

the good news is they don't say depression is a choice as much anymore, but the symptoms for burn out and depression are so hand-in-hand that they are mirror images of each other. but depression is serious. you're not depressed, you're just whiny. they barely change the script - don't be lazy! burn out is for people with real problems. burn out can be resolved with some fun candles and a day off work. burn out only happens in adults - no kid can be burnt out, after all; they've barely even had a life to live!

do you have a roof over your head and a steady job? you're not burnt out. so what if every night you wake up with a panic attack frothing inside your chest. you're lucky your problems are small. get back into plants or into yoga. shut up about it.

rich people get burnt out and go to fancy places. they get burnt out in their fancy offices with their real-people problems. they get burnt out and hire an assistant to help them never burn out again. you don't have the money to burn out. you don't have the two weeks to recover in a local spa. the job you come back to will still be stressful and hard.

you find yourself often wondering - does nobody remember about the pandemic? it seems almost like a joke or a punchline. being burnt-out was okay "during" the pandemic. now that people are back to ignoring covid, burnout is just-an-excuse again.

you google how to know if it's seasonal affective disorder or burnout. you google how to know if it's anxiety or it's burnout from working. you google how to know if my depression is back or i'm burning out badly.

coming back from burnout just leaves you covered in ashes, not new growth. you struggle to get back basics, and then - you're just supposed to get back up and keep going. every day the amount of tasks you are able to do seems to dwindle even further - where does the time go? why is everything moving so-fast-and-yet-so-slow?

my therapist and i were talking about how many people had latent mental illnesses that were triggered by the pandemic. how depression can be environmental and situational. i am annoyingly logic-driven about my own recovery - i like to be sure i'm working on the "right" thing. i tell her i feel like i'm lying. that it just might be burnout, and i need to stop complaining. she asks me what words come to mind when i think of burning.

oh, i guess i see.

we casually ignore the violence of being left empty.

we casually

ignore the violence of

being left empty.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

““The mannerisms that help define gender - the way in which people walk,swing their hips, gesture with their hands, move their mouths and eyes when they talk, take up space - are all based upon how non disabled people move…The construct of gender depends not only upon the male body and female body, but also on the non disabled body.””

— Eli Clare, Exile and Pride: Disability, Queerness, and Liberation

“I no longer have a gender. Rather, I have a wheelchair.”

—Christina Crosby, A Body, Undone.

having anxiety is like being given permanent unwanted custody of a halter arabian. like okay buddy is it panic time again. cool you probably need more exercise and an apple and then maybe you'll calm down.

taking my stupid walks for my stupid mental health with my stupid hypervigilant brain horse

thoroughly enjoying the notes on this post because it's equal parts people with anxiety going "yeah that's what it's like" and people with arabians going "yeah that's what they're like"

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Rejection-sensitive or not, you have to accept when people say “no” and realize that people’s “no” is not about you. A boundary is never about you, it’s about that person’s sense of security. Do not make people’s personal limits a matter of targeted offence.