I don't even know how to feel about these
Unlike billionaires, pickpockets often recognize they have a lot in common with the potential victims of their crime.
This reminds me of Rhys Nicholson the comedian who got mugged and the mugger said "I promise this isn't a hate crime, my sister is a lesbian im pro gay rights"
One struggle 🫡
if we keep getting fatter and hornier we can abolish all world militaries by 2026
emerich dreadway saying “watch this” as he tries to avoid being hit by a projectile explosive by just hitting it back then proceeding to roll a two and a one is big hardwon surefoot energy
There's no such thing as equitable media representation until we have a lesbian version of the ambiguously gay duo where one of them is short and fat and the other is tall and thin and they're both fucking idiots.
If you're in the notes proposing an "equivalent" to this trope where neither party is fat, you need to rethink your life.
You just know these two have the most contrasting and nonsensical sensory issues.
ps i hate you isnt perfect but where else would i find an exchange like this
Water Snake from Team Fortress 2
this isn’t low poly
Isn't this the highest poly model in the entire game?
yes it is by miles
Water Snake from Team Fortress 2
this isn’t low poly
Isn't this the highest poly model in the entire game?
yes it is by miles
IT'S FINALLY HERE! The true full size of my "do you love the colour of the sky HD remake director's cut" tumblr post
This ended up being 2 3/4 inches wide by 36 FEET LONG.
The 2 3/4 inch width was chosen because that's the same width as a pretty average phone screen, and I wanted to know how physically far you have to scroll to get past this post.
also dont tell my boss that I got into the art gallery before we opened just to set up this rainbow CVS receipt looking motherfucker. in my defense i literally couldn't find any other location that was long enough to show this off
Please consider subscribing to my Patreon to gain access to my original content a week before its posted on tumblr!
reblogging this because the og post is suddenly getting a bunch of notes and i want everyone to see just how long this motherfucker is in real life
that is impressively long omg
also you all should be so grateful I never reblogged that post because WOW
white people will see a menu and order from it
So true 💯💯
Once at my last job my coworkers decided to do a group delivery for lunch. And I was in a foul mood and I'd never eaten from this particular chinese restaurant so I just clicked sesame chicken, whatever. And then I found out that my other three white coworkers were ALL ALSO GETTING SESAME CHICKEN and it made me so angry and I demanded to change my order before they clicked send and they were mad at me and I was like we are not ordering 4 containers of sugar chicken! It's disgraceful!
have you ever considered that maybe sesame chicken is just good and sometimes people just all have the same taste in food?
The United States has a meat consumption problem. If you look at the most popular and "palatable" Americanized dish from any ethnic food tradition you're going to find the one that is primarily about seasoned meat. No "weird" vegetables allowed! And any vegetables that are present must be easy to treat like a garnish, something just there to provide some color. It isn't just embarrassing from a culinary point of view, it's also an extremely privileged attitude from an economic and environmental point of view.
I was embarrassed of my lazy choice, and when we were all collectively making the same lazy choice it didn't make me feel better about my choice it made me feel worse. It is absolutely a me problem; I am part of the problem and I am ashamed.
good God it's sesame chicken from Lucky Bamboo China House who gives a shit
“lol but why is this actually good” because i made it in earnest?? because i loved it??? because i love you??? because quality and humor are not mutually exclusive???? hold my hand. it’s okay
In case you think the writers on strike aren't making good use of their time, think no more!
Only click the read more if you're fully prepared. I'm taking no responsibility past this point.
having carefree sex with my lackadaisical wife
doing earnest sex with my somber wife
engaging in empirical sex with my evidence-based wife
I STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE FRONT DOOR OF MY OWN HOME ONLY TO FIND THE DEER THAT TRIED TO KICK MY ASS LAST YEAR STANDING RIGHT THERE IN MY FRONT YARD. BOLD AS BRASS.
AM I NOT SAFE ANYWHERE ANYMORE
for those of you who were not here last year: this deer is the most obnoxious, unnatural red-orange color I’ve ever seen, only appears when it’s raining, and once chased me a quarter mile through the woods. her name is Hot Cheeto Hatred and she is my nemesis
dude, i think that’s a fairy
I STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE FRONT DOOR OF MY OWN HOME ONLY TO FIND THE DEER THAT TRIED TO KICK MY ASS LAST YEAR STANDING RIGHT THERE IN MY FRONT YARD. BOLD AS BRASS.
AM I NOT SAFE ANYWHERE ANYMORE
for those of you who were not here last year: this deer is the most obnoxious, unnatural red-orange color I’ve ever seen, only appears when it’s raining, and once chased me a quarter mile through the woods. her name is Hot Cheeto Hatred and she is my nemesis
dude, i think that’s a fairy
meet cute prompt
these two people just constantly rotating groundhogs between Germantown and Sugarloaf for years
argh NO the feelings of listening to Make A Man Out Of You for the millionth time and having it sink in that Shang goes through ALL the emotions as he sings it and he gets his own little character arc
like it's a montage of Mulan coming into her own for the very first time and the soldiers learning to work together with their strengths-
and it's also Shang, singing the song, singing his parts SEPPERATE from the chorus, drowning them out-
him the captain, alone at the top, leading and guiding, determined to prove himself and be out there on the field to help his father- him starting out so full of CONFIDENCE and conviction yes he WILL make a man out of you! (somehow) sharing his idea of what a man is: BALANCE. Tranquil and on fire. it's finding your center, you place inside yourself
but then the soldiers all sing and they're begging for their lives under his training, hopeless, the mood isn't we're in this together it's i am going to die die die die hey lets throw rocks at ping- ping is even worse than the rest of us we all hate ping
Shang's sings again and there's desperation now, heed my every order and you MIGHT survive-
he's not hoping to train the best army ever anymore, he's scared he'll lead people to their death because he Cant Train Them right, he's running out of time to get them ready,
And this is the moment he tells Ping / Mulan to go home. his darkest hour in the song, him giving up, him admitting HE'S failed
how could i ever make a man out of you? Not, how could YOU ever be a man- how could /I/ ever make you one! Maybe Ping could be a great soldier, but Shang can't teach it
(am i reaching? maybe. i dont care)
He blames himself. A bad teacher, he thinks. but he will not send someone who can't fight into a war just to die
(a good captain)
Ping would've just been the first one he sent home, im sure
Mulan CAN'T go home though, for her HERSELF she can't do it- her father is safe now and she has a way out but no No NO, she climbs the pole to reach the arrow as the song climbs with her,
Shang's voice tenses with this sort of desperate hope and wonder as he hits the last note, as she throws down the arrow, as he looks up and sees-
she got there using both weights, using BALANCE. His teachings-
but he didn't teach Ping that
And finally. FINALLY
shang sings with the chorus
the instruments drop away and it's just voices, Shang in lead yes, but the soldiers are with him now. or maybe it's him finally being with them?
Mulan's example brought them together. Her, Ping's success, wasn't just a victory for new recruits- it was the moment SHANG saw he could be a good teacher, a good captain
with help.
he gave Mulan room to try herself, he showed her basics, cared more about Ping's safety than his own ego- told Ping go home, -I- can't teach you. I have failed. He left the door open for Ping to teach himself
remember the chorus? "Be a man" -it's a CHORUS it's NEVER sung alone
(like shang has been singing)
A man isn't singular. He isn't separate. Isn't alone.
He is the moment the whole camp looks up and CHEERS to see the weakest one of them make it to the top
a man is that last shot, all of them together, moving as one
their center isn't something they hold inside themselves. None of them start winning until they turn their focus outward and find their center in the people around them- they come into their own when they see ANYONE even PING can be a man
and Shang needed to see that too
that shot of him running with soldiers and Ping at lead is the visual version of that last chorus line
he started out wanting to make men out of these guys, he ended up learning to be one of the men himself instead
and i think ive fried my brain
Posting this iconic piece of media that I just NEVER found online isolated except in an archived reddit thread
