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this is a gay ass blog

@bardling44

A place for my amassed(18,000+) likes. Expect 250 reblogs a day and really old posts. warning nothing is tagged
☀️ - Heeeello, Sunshine! Could you do a favour for me, pretty, pretty, pretty please? Make sure to take care of yourself! Maybe you need to eat. Stay well hydrated. Take a break and rest. Take your medication. Tidy, tidy up maybe?
🌙 - Go to sleep and have happy dreams even.
☀️ - Ooo, that's important. Perhaps there's a task you're putting off? Shower? Brush those teeth of yours? Whatever it may be you need, we believe in you! We're cheering you on!
🌙 - And we'll be very, very proud ♡
☀️ - You betcha! ☆

potion of brush my teeth

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I FINISHED IT

lesson learned: do not sell 3 days of your life for 103 mouse clicks

I HADN’T EXPECTED IT TO BE THIS GOOD

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

”him, him, him” i am so sick of hearing about the man of steel!

Screw writing “strong” women.  Write interesting women. Write well-rounded women.  Write complicated women.  Write a woman who kicks ass, write a woman who cowers in a corner.  Write a woman who’s desperate for a husband.  Write a woman who doesn’t need a man.  Write women who cry, women who rant, women who are shy, women who don’t take no shit, women who need validation and women who don’t care what anybody thinks.  THEY ARE ALL OKAY, and all those things could exist in THE SAME WOMAN. Women shouldn’t be valued because we are strong, or kick-ass, but because we are people.  So don’t focus on writing characters who are strong.  Write characters who are people. [x]

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But what if the princess was in the tower because she was the dragon?

Like the queen gives birth and oops it’s this adorable little scaley lizard with tiny wings that she can never quite seem to fold right

None of the King’s advisors or doctors can explain it, no one can remember anyone who might have cursed the royal family, plus sire she’s clearly yours still I mean look at those eyes

They just kind of accept it and keep her in a tower so no one tries to slay her

The queen or castle servants reading bedtime stories to the toddler princess, who’s made a nest of her favorite toys and some jewelery she stole off her mother, and when she laughs little puffs of smoke come out of her mouth

The king being so proud when she flies across the room for the first time

And once the princess comes of age, confused knights breaking into the tower to find a twenty foot long dragon sitting at the vanity getting her horns polished by her handmaidens

and the “kidnapped” princess is her girlfriend?

this feels like a minotaur myth gone amazingly right.

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Okay, who brought this back? Because I haven’t seen notes on this thing in literally months.

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She goes flying around the surrounding kingdoms, just watching and listening.

And pretty soon she has a dozen girls sharing the tower with her.

Some were being pushed to marry, or promised in marriage to someone they hated. Some were already married.

Some were poor, or hunted, or enslaved.

Some were thrown out, abandoned, banished.

There’s a princess there, yes, one who would rather sit in the solar and read books than marry a boorish prince and interact with her subjects all day.

There’s a wizard-student who fled her university after one of the professors tried to curse her for disagreeing with him.

There’s a girl who ran away to be a knight, and a girl who was thrown out for being pregnant, and a wife who ran out the door with her toddler carried in her broken arms, her belly swollen and unwieldy, and stories circulate from the bar the next day about how the dragon swooped down and stole away a man’s wife.

Probably ate her, he says. Good riddance.

There’s a formerly-wealthy merchant wife, cast out by her husband in middle age so he can wed someone young and pretty.

There’s an elderly grandmother who’s outlived her family and her usefulness.

A street child, rag-clad and starving. A baby, left abandoned on a hillside.

It begins to filter through the land, spoken from fathers to daughter, husbands to wives, employers to servants: if you are bad, the dragon will take you. if you are stubborn, or willful, or refuse to marry, the dragon will find you. if you are useless, or slovenly, or disobedient, you will be thrown out and the dragon will pluck you up in its claws and take you back to its lair filled with bones.

They do not understand that this is not a threat but a promise.

They do not know that the version their servants tell each other, their wives tell their daughters, their mothers tell circles of friends, is “if you are desperate, the dragon will find you. if you want out, the dragon will rescue you. if you pause outside, and tell your fears to the soft beating of wings somewhere in the sky, you will fly, and the dragon will carry you home.”

There are bones, but they are surrounded by living flesh.

The tower, the Princess’s Tower in the central kingdom, is hidden by the finest spells and left alone by longstanding tradition. The nature of the Princess’s curse is a matter of speculation, but most likely, people say, she is under some fairy’s enchantment, and she will sleep for a hundred years until the right prince finds the way in.

The wizard-student was fairly advanced in her studies, and is quite good at teaching the runaway scullery-maid and the young unmarried mother turned out when her belly showed. The gates to the far reaches of the tower grounds open to a hillside two kingdoms away, and to an alleyway in a major city, and to a deep tideswept cave near a fishing village and a harbor, and to a storage room in the oldest wing of the Princess’s home palace.

The rich former merchant’s wife sorts through the dragon’s hoard of gold and gems, and delivers instructions to the runaway postulant and the worn old farm wife; dressed as a young clerk and a common tradesman, they go to call on this merchant who sets the best prices, and that factor who has misplaced goods available for a low price, and this manufacturer of looms and that seller of books.

The farm wife knows the best sheep to buy at market, the ewes who will bear twins and the lambs which will have the finest wool. Another country over, this time in the company of “his” elderly “father,” she buys cows that will give good milk, and chickens that will lay good eggs.

An elderly wizard visits a university, and inquires after their library; she is let in, and watched as she pages through books filled with arcane topics in languages she can’t understand; back at the tower, the wizard girl and her students capture the pages in a scrying crystal.

A pretty young fishwife smiles at the vegetable-seller as her daughter clings to her skirts, and soon the girls and women of the tower have seeds to plant. Looms hum, and dyestuffs are boiled, and even the poorest in their former lives wear bright dresses, or breeches and tunics if they prefer.

The dragon brings back a pirate woman from the harbor, stolen from the hangman’s noose while the crowd cheers; she knows where there is treasure stored, and soon the young girls have gems to play with, and the girl who ran away to be a knight has someone to learn proper swordwork from.

The little girl whose first flight was in her mother’s broken arms wants to be a blacksmith; when a swordblade breaks, the dragon breathes on it, as long as needed, while the child determinedly hammers it back together.

The dragon princess surveys her kingdom with approval. It is small, and tonight she will fly over a small town, where she heard breaking crockery and yelling last night, to see if someone steps out into the darkness and wishes for a better life, and tomorrow there may be one more.

DAMN, this got better! I don’t care the format, be it a movie, a series or a book, I need this story like I need air.

is this on Amazon yet? please let it come to paper/movie/ or a 100k fic. ;__;

@kyraneko is amazing, vol 243773

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Once, she was the terror of an entire castle simply by being born.

Scaly, blackish-green and vaguely serpentine, with floppy wings and bright golden eyes that looked wonderingly up at the world, expecting to be loved; the first voices she hears are screams, and the first faces she sees contort in horror; the only thing she remembers with happiness from that awakening is the bright glint of jewels on some lady-in-waiting’s fine court dress, flashing in the torchlight as the women turn and flee, replaced by men with gleaming breastplates and sharp-edged pikes.

She lives because, even then, newborn and slippery with the fluids of her mother’s womb, she is proof against swords; they knock her backwards, onto her mother’s belly, and she senses a heartbeat and curls up against the comforting soft warmth of her mother, chin propped over the woman’s heart, looking up expectantly and not the slightest bit confused that her mother has no scales, has dark eyes, has a soft padded body and a tiny mouth that opens into an O as she looks at her daughter.

A spearhead pierces her wing, the soft membrane that has no scales, and she knows pain, knows fear, knows the sharp shrill keen of her own voice sounding agony to the stars, and her mother reaches out as she herself will one day strike at prey, latches her clawless long-fingered hand around the spearhaft and draws it out over the guardsman’s ashen-faced objections.

The first words she hears: “Leave her alone.”

(It will be years before she meets another dragon, and years longer before she is told that the first words ever spoken to a hatchling dragon are its name and its purpose.)

(Elsewhere, in a kingdom far away, a human infant cracks the shell of an egg its dragon mother thought was too small and too thin-shelled to live, but this is another story.)

Now, she is the terror of several kingdoms, or rather, she is the terror of some parts of it, for that value of terror which is formed where desperation intersects with hope, where the stories conflict and the truth is unknown, where opportunity and freedom are the most overwhelming things in the world. (To the rest of the land’s population, she is not terror so much as opportunity, as useful threat. Thief, perhaps. But they do not fear.)

The girl staggering into the plowed fields below her is young, perhaps ten or eleven; is dark, and tiny, and graceful even in her exhausted, meandering terror; is wearing a dark-blue kirtle with fine embroidery, and a white chemise underneath that glows in the dim moonlight. The daughter of a wealthy house, the dragon thinks, and lays odds in her mind (small amusement) as to the cause of her being here. Young for marriage, young for pregnancy, too wealthy to be thrown out for poor work or for poverty, and no sent of blood attends her.

She stumbles to a halt, this girl, and looks up, half-panicking, half-hopeful, to the ebony sky, to the stars, to the dim slight crescent of the moon at the horizon, looking for something she is afraid to find, and afraid to not find.

The dragon gives her what she looks for, a sudden dark shape sailing across the bright constellations overhead, and watches the child flinch, clasping both hands over her mouth, eyes wide as owls’ eyes, but she does not run. The dragon drops from the sky like a stone, and clasps the child to her own heartbeat, drowned out for the moment by the great thunderclaps of her wings as she surges forward, outward, and up.

She does not touch the ground once; has not, since she began her hoarding by picking up a girl not much smaller than she was then, and if she has gotten heavier, her burdens have gotten lighter in comparison. This one is a feather, clinging to her, wedging tiny fingers under her belly scales to hold tighter, and the dragon twists her neck snakelike to look once she is securely in the embrace of wind and sky.

Big owl eyes stare back at her, their edges gleaming white against a brown face. Dragons have excellent vision, and this one can see the tracks of dried tears, but she is not crying now; she is looking back at the dragon with curiosity and what might be the beginnings of hope.

The night is cool, and so the dragon calls fire in her belly, not breathing it but letting it heat her so her scale-armored skin grows warm. The child presses her cheek against her breastbone, listening to slow resonant heartbeats now that they glide through the oncoming wind, and the dragon thinks of her birth, and another heartbeat, and another human speaking to her, after the sharp blade and the soldier has been made to go away.

Daughter.”

“It’s not even outside the box. There is no box. It’s like “You wanna beat the guard dog? How ‘bout a giant hamster ball?” And everybody goes “YEAH! EXACTLY!””

— Kari Byron (Mythbusters)

What if Ran and Kogoro just up and told Conan he can’t watch TV anymore because he keeps saying he learns weird things from there and he’s forced to make up other excuses for his abundant knowledge.

Ran: Wow Conan, where’d you learn that?

Conan: At school!

Ran: …You learned about the American Stock Market in 2nd grade?

Conan: ….Yeah, doesn’t everyone? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Asexual Pride Pokemon!!

I got a lot for Ace too so they get their own post as well.

Again, thanks to everyone who sent in their requests!!

Imagine if Alya and Marinette got into an argument because Alya was tired of Marinette never facing her fears and talking to Adrien. So Marinette, enraged and determined to prove Alya wrong, storms over to Adrien and says “You wanna go?!?”

It’s only after Adrien nervously chuckles and hesitantly backs away that she realizes that she forgot the “to the movies with me” part of her sentence

did a draw the squad meme im srry i just cannOT take these nerds seriously i love them //feel free to send me an ask drawing request//