So you're looking for a system other than D&D...

Have you tried solo RPGs? Because it's not just "how can I play D&D alone" there's a whole world of cool stuff out there….And I want to tell you about it.

(I'm quite sick today so please forgive any incoherence or typos.)

First off, it's totally fine if you're more of a party person over a solo person. I just know a lot of people aren't aware of solo games, how they work, or the breadth of diversity you find among them.

You are constantly mocked for having such a weird superpower by all the other heroes. “The power to make anything into perfectly cooked soup”… One day, a massive meteor is barreling towards earth. As all the other heroes are panicking, you wait perfectly calm, at the impact zone, bowl in hand.

The hardest part was, you thought, picking what kind of soup. A cold soup, obviously. You were going to be standing at the impact site, and there wasn't a bowl big enough to carry all of that soup. Or at least, none you had in your cupboard. It was going to be hot enough as it was, you didn't need soup burns on top of it.

You had tried to get someone to listen to you. To maybe take you closer, so there was less atmosphere compression. You'd heard that was an issue, that the atmosphere in front of the meteor would compress and the heat and friction was what caused other meteors to flash through the sky. Something like that.

Skyman would have been perfect to bring you up. He could create atmospheric bubbles. And fly. Perfect for creating oxygen voids to knock out villains. He'd used it on you, back in high school, enough to give you a reputation for low blood pressure, but never enough to get caught. It had been funny, to bully Soupy.

But Skyman wouldn't listen. He didn't even pick up his phone. You'd gotten his number at the field trip to Hero Quarters, and you'd been put in a group together. The whole group had been instructed to share numbers, so no one would get lost. You'd gotten lost anyways. You'd never used the number, until last week when the meteor was first detected.

You could see him, kinda. He was up there, doing his best to slow the meteor. Him and the others And it was working well enough that you could see the meteor approach, rather than just a flash and instant death. That would be Inertia, probably. She could slow an object, but it would keep it's momentum. Useful for pulling civilians out of the way of a bullet. Less useful when the Earth itself couldn't be moved.

At least the atmosphere had some time to move away. It was starting to get hot, but you weren't roasted.

It had been a stupid idea, probably. To do this. To stand and stare at certain death. But you thought, hey. At least if I stand at the impact site, I'll die first. You would probably rather do that, having tried, than not try and deal with the predicted century of winter. You've never done well with the cold.

The meteor was closer now. Close enough that Magma was the first to spot you. She was trying to melt the meteor, but wasn't having much luck. Something that an entire atmosphere couldn't vaporize wasn't going to be overly fussed about a little stream of fire.

She was shouting at you. You couldn't hear, probably because of the atmospheric compression. You could guess what she was saying though, and you didn't know why she thought that moving now would help. At all. Even if you ran, you wouldn't make it.

Closer and closer. The bowl was pointless, maybe. Again, you didn't own a bowl big enough to contain the entire meteor. But at the end of this, the least you deserved was a bowl of soup.

Which brought you again to what kind. Gazpacho? Or maybe borscht? You've never tried a fruit soup, although you've heard they were very good. But, hm, you weren't sure you were feeling like a dessert. Something savoury. The place near your house made a delicious naengmyeon. Hopefully you'd be able catch the noodles alright.

A streak of light to your left caught your eye. You recognized that blue of colour. It was heading directly at you. Hurriedly, you turned the ground in front of The Zap into avocado soup. Hopefully the creaminess would slow him down.

It was starting to get very very hot, even with Inertia slowing things down. You tried turning the atmosphere into cold peach soup, which worked? Somehow? It was cooler now at least. More sticky though.

Almost in range. Two hundred meters, you just needed it to get to two hundred meters away.

Or a bit closer. You did want to be able to catch your noodles.

At fifty meters, the meteor vanished with a GLOOP.

Starman, Inertia, Magma and the others weren't able to stop in time, but their crash landings were cushioned by the noodles and the beef. They went to the hospital, but none of them died.

You ended up with a nice bowl of naengmyeon and accolades. Every country wanted to give you a medal. You travelled for a while, and tried as much soup as you could, so you could make your favourites again later. Hilariously, and somewhat uselessly, you were given a soup bowl large enough to bathe in by three different countries. You weren't sure what you'd use it for, now that the meteor was gone. Maybe you could donate it to a soup kitchen.

Maybe you could start a soup kitchen.

Starman never apologized. It was likely he didn't remember you. But that was alright. You would forever treasure the look on his face when the meteor exploded into broth and noodles. And also the photo that some idiot war journalist had taken of you, holding out your soup bowl, while all the other heroes face planted around you. They'd given you a framed copy.

“You gotta make a decision leave tonight or live and die this way” is such a raw line you’d think it was from Tracy Chapman’s fast car. And it is in fact from Tracy Chapman’s fast car.

it’s because you’re always in that damn time loop

it’s because you’re always in that damn time loop

it’s because you’re always in that damn time loop

Technically true.

He got the job.

He takes his job seriously.

I fuckin’ love this comic. Makes me smile like crazy every time it pops up.

The little head shake cracks me up every time :D

“Do not even think about it”

vibrating in vague general panic is the natural state of being for a sheeep

wendell and wild is going to be the first henry selick movie in history to not be mistaken for a tim burton movie because we all know tim burton would rather die before he has a black lead in his movies, or have a majority black cast for that matter

for the mario movie???? the mario bros movie?? the actors can't know the plot of the mario movie??? they're scared of plot leaks for mario the movie?? the movie mario???? we're getting not just chris pratt but chris pratt acting BLIND????????

we've all joked to death about how this type of micromanaging essentially kills the art of acting, but I want to make it extra clear that doing this to voice actors and making them riff on their performance in a void is just one tiny step away from AI generating the cherrypicked delivery that a studio desires, which is something they are already doing with james earl jones's darth vader

I think we’ll begin to have a more productive conversation when we start to understand that white supremacy IS their own interest. They’re not voting against their own interests, they’re voting for the interest that supersedes all others. When we accept that white women are not fighting for equal rights but rather equal access to white supremacy, we’ll stop being surprised by this.

Conservative white women would prefer equal rights with men as much as any other women, but their racism is more important to them so they will sacrifice equal rights to connect with racist white men, and racist white men are almost always sexist, too. Crap sticks together that way.

White women*

This extends beyond political affiliation

New conspiracy theory that ticketmaster hires scalpers to make themselves look better so everyone pays them fees and they tighten their hold on their monopoly of ticket sales

It’s not a conspiracy theory it’s just a fact

it’s december 1 where’s the christmas tail kitten bring him to me

i have to do EVERYTHING around here

Crying in the club this morning because my cats enjoy our gossip sessions as much as I do 🥺

Elon wyd

I genuinely wish I could see inside Musk’s head or at least get an explanation for how he was thinking his plans would work out.

Like it’s clear now he is fantastically out of touch with reality but I still really wanna know like, to what degree. Did he think people would accept his ultimatum? Did he genuinely think it would only take like 300 people to keep Twitter running?

I was an intern at SpaceX years ago, back it when it was a much smaller company — after Elon got hair plugs, but before his cult of personality was in full swing. I have some insight to offer here.

Back when I was at SpaceX, Elon was basically a child king. He was an important figurehead who provided the company with the money, power, and PR, but he didn’t have the knowledge or (frankly) maturity to handle day-to-day decision making and everyone knew that. He was surrounded by people whose job was, essentially, to manipulate him into making good decisions.

My gosh.

tfw you’re bothering a cat but not enough for it to MOVE so it just looks Disapprovingly at you

One more 😻☺️

Enjoy the fight with the audio of Ronda Rousey’s corner. I know I did.

“NOOOOOOO!!!”

This is beautiful.

Still beautiful, til this day!

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾