by Beth Evans

blacklisting your own url does nothing and i cant unfollow myself this is awful i cant stand it

IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER JUST BREATHE IN THE HELIUM OUT OF A BALLOON AND HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND THE FIRST ONE TO LAUGH LOSES

you just put every marriage counsellor out of business

gay

:O

Im not sure the new IT guy knows what he is doing…

Nonsense give him a promotion and his own corner office

just woke up 2 find jill slid this under my front door 

i put it in and it is actually “so yesterday” 17 times over. my friends are really good sometimes

HE DID AN INTERVIEW

THE ‘FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY’ GUY DID AN INTERVIEW

I did it because it needed to be done

I just remembered that on the way in to work this morning I saw a bunch of Young Business Dudes standing around outside an office building and I yelled “HOW’S BUSINESS???” at them as I rode past

"but officer they were fucking with my clique"

my dick is itchy I think i have herpes

*me in my grave laughing cause nobody knows the r.i.p. on my tombstone stands for rugrats in paris*

I, a big wrinkle, made all of these smaller wrinkles.

Stay away from Kirkland Signature pistachio nuts! In one of the nuts, which you can buy at costco, I found a maggot about the same size as a thumb nail. Not only is this revolting, but if swallowed without being killed they could start a process called myiasis, otherwise known as the eating of human/animal flesh. Please spread the word

Lmfao wtf Christians chill out!

shut up mom! my acapella dubstep group WILL take off and you’ll be sorry for ever calling it stupid!

2 BIG CHAINZ, 1 BIG CHOPPA

Books that people read romantically but shouldn’t because they’re missing the point:

That’s your opinion.

there’s nothing romantic about a pedophile rapist, the senseless murder-suicide of teenagers because families can’t get their shit together or the hypocrisy of the roaring 20s

FINALLY SOMEONE SAYS IT