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@bananasfostergrants2

six episodes away from pure ascension

Listening to a Chipotle commercial

Not paying attention

"juust the right amount of pee"

Heat. He said heat.

Ads on Instagram: "still paying for reading??" no, because I use this fun thing, don't know if you've heard of it, it's called a library

Very niche

Hey

- Make characters OTHER THAN VILLAINS fat too

- No not just the greedy or food loving ones

- Not just older people or moms

- Make more characters fat

- Like actually fat

- With double chins, bellies, thick arms, fat necks, rolls

- And let them be love interests or protagonists or in respected positions.

- Let them be portrayed as hot. While being fat yes

- Make more characters fat

"Livin' large tonight boys!"

"I'm not making fun of the Great Depression!

...I am making fun of the Great Depression."

Small things that make me sad about America #1: they have no Bramley Apples here. Big knobbly ugly sour cooking apples. They do not exist in this place.

We're lucky, we have an apple tree in the paddock which grows Bramley cooking apples.

Thanks to someone's clever grafting about 30 years ago, it also grows Beauty of Bath, a red-skinned, pink-fleshed heritage eating apple (though you have to move fast before the wasps get in - see top right).

It only crops every other year - if my calculations are correct, this is one of the Other Years - but when it crops, it does so With Enthusiasm.

Like, three or four bagfuls like this...

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Just look at those. OM NOM NOM.

For those of you who don't know: the Bramley apple appeared more or less out of nowhere—a "sport", as they say—and is possibly now the most famous of all British apples because it's so good for baking with.

But meanwhile: very much feeling @neil-gaiman's pain. It's true what he says: if you're in the US, most of the time you might as well wish for one of the Apples of the Hesperides as a Bramley. You won't find them at the supermarket. They're not commercially popular... possibly due to being stubbornly asymmetrical and really sour. (Which is absolutely their strength when you're baking with them, as they calm down a lot but still stay tart.)

Now, though, you can at least buy the trees over there, and plant one of your own! Here's one nursery supplying them, and there are others. You can order them online and they'll ship sapling trees to you. (Also, for all those interested, see this page for general Bramley apple growth & care info.)

I will buy a Bramley Apple tree. I will do this thing.