me: *watches one episode of The X Files*

me: 

+

*lowering a bucket full of lotion down to the worms*

Ok but like why

Because he is powerful

After the clown war, humanity was broken, but one person rose from the ashes, taught us to fight back, taught us we could beat the clowns....

Ghostbusters (2016) dir. Paul Feig

This is the comfort and reassurance Spider-Man, reblog for endless amounts of tea and a reaffirming thumbs up

Tommy Wiseau voice I did not vibe with her I did not

so what my dick is huge am i bothering anyone

what if we pissed in the toilet

me to everyone in the mens bathroom

I have been quoting this tiktok for the past two weeks.

This bitch had like 5 accents

transcription:  “you’re a nice guy. (shifts to singsongy british accent) i’ll think about it maybe xo baybeoi uh oh eehjfgoi SHEND HIM KISSHEOIS. i didn’t know i would moive in with his missusWOOOOOT GET A LOIFE WE’RE LIVIN WITH HIS WOIFE like.. (disturbingly serene) what was i meant to do…? ehehehe. (sudden american accent) oh bitch oi seemBUHHURH BREAST KILLA?? mm. HEHEHEHEHEHE (back to british accent) she doied. that’s what she desehves. (sudden new yorker accent) this stoopid princess bitch has been fuckin goin against me since i downloaded this goddamn app. she’s like (peppa pig again) oih you’re heare? no problemm. an- oo OO OOOHOHOHOHOOO OHOHOHOHO HOHOHOWAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ….oh i was first heh!”

you’re a nice guy 👨‍💼! I’ll think 🤔 about it MAY-BEE🐝. X O 🤗💋 baybwee👶! UH OH here we go 🚀🚀🚀! SHENDS HIM KISSES😘😘😘! I didn’t know that I would move in with his Mrs.👰 WHUUT😲! GET A LIFE! You were living with his wife 👱‍♀️like what was I meant to do🤷‍♀️? Oh bitch 💃obviously- BUH HWUH BREASTKILLUH 🔪🙍‍♀️! Yeet ✌️! hehehehehehe 🤣🤣🤣🤣 she DIED 😵. It’s what she deserves 💁‍♀️. this STOOPID princess 👸 bitch 🐕 has been fuckin goin against me since I downloaded this goddamn app 📱. She’s like, “OH yaw here, no PRAWBlem!” eh OO OO 😮OOOoOooOO 😩😩😩😩OOOOoo 😱oOO😱oooo 😱O😱😱OO😱OOO WHAAAAAA🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 Oh I was first heh!🥇🏆

men are like i cheat on my wife ... to cope