Here are some herbs that have been traditionally used to help relieve anxiety:

rainy day

source

a need for being put in my place

So the other night I reblogged this post that basically alluded (not at all subtly) to my giant kink for being put in my place. Specifically, the post asked that if I ever got out of line or forgot my place that my Dom remind me of who’s in charge with a slap and a sharp reprimand. I was surprised by the response. Both the overwhelmingly positive response and how many people felt a need to either receive or administer that sort of treatment - but, more so, the number of people who were fixated on the reference to a slap to the face. 

So I wanted to dig into this waffle a lil’ bit!

First, I want to say that I am so completely in support of limits. You guys know that! I’m a big advocate of knowing your limits and sharing your limits and sticking to your limits and making sure your partner is aware of your limits and not feeling like you have to back down on your limits or doubt your limits and all of that good stuff. Yay limits! So if face slapping is a limit for you then I think it’s good that you know that and good that you share that and good that you feel comfortable standing firm on that. You go!

However, the location of the slap wasn’t really the point of the post. And I think if that’s the fixation then you may be missing the larger magic of the moment when the Dom reminds the sub of their place.

To be clear, I love face slapping. Love it. I love being slapped in the face. It makes me wet. It makes me moan. It makes my eyes light up. It makes me all melty and happy and squirmy and basically turns me into a giant puddle of liquid sub writhing happily at your feet.

But you know what I love more? The dynamic. Being dominated. Having a Dom who makes the decisions. Having someone I trust enough that I can defer to Him and trust him to make the call as to what I need or what’s best for me. Having someone who is in control. Having structure.

Seriously, I crave structure. I crave someone to give me that structure. I crave being able to hand myself over into his hands and trust that he’ll stick to the limits and rules and protocols and dynamic that we agree upon and put into effect.

And you know what, for me, is a huge part of that? Casual and immediate reminders of who is in charge. 

Why? For two reasons. First, because it makes me feel safe and loved and at peace. And second, because to be perfectly fucking honest - it makes me wet as a girl can be.

But it’s not the arousal that makes me crave it. Not really. It’s the first part. It’s that feeling of being safe and loved and at peace. It’s feeling calm. It’s the reassurance that the structure will be there - is there - always. The reassurance that the structure isn’t going to disappear just because we’re around other people or because we’re busy or because we’re not at home or whatever.

And to that end - it doesn’t have to be a slap. A firm grip on a handful of my hair. A firm grip on the back of my neck. A casual, soft hand around my throat - you don’t even have to apply pressure. Just the reminder that I’ve given you the okay to decide whether or not I get to breathe…

It’s not about the pain. True, I love the pain, I crave the pain, I need the pain to balance me - but I love and crave and need the structure and the dominance even more.

So putting me in my place? I need it. I don’t really care how you do it - I just care that you do. I need to feel safe. I need the reminder that you’re in charge. I want the reminder that you’re in charge. I want the calm, comforting embrace of your dominance. And I want it as a constant. And I want it on the big things and the small.

So please - please - even if it’s not with a slap, don’t ever stop reminding me that you’re in charge. I love the slap, but I need the casual display of dominance. It’s not about the physical tool used to give me structure - it’s about making sure I have the structure at all.

Other ways of this that don’t involve face slapping:

Wrap my ponytail around your hand and give it a quick tug.

Lean over and whisper in my ear that “you don’t give the orders here”.

Place your hand on the back of my neck and give it a firm squeeze.

If we’re at a table where no one can see what’s going on underneath it then cup my cunt with your hand and give IT a firm squeeze.

Give me The Look.

Say “Excuse me?” in That Tone Of Voice (you know exactly the one I’m talking about).

If you’re holding my hand then give it a firm squeeze.

Grab a handful of my hair and tug my head back so I’m forced to look up at you. Don’t let go until I apologize.

Place your hand over my mouth and tell me that little girls who don’t mind their manners are better off keeping their mouth shut.

Stick your fingers in my mouth and tell me that if I can’t speak to you appropriately then you’ll find something else to do with my mouth.

There are so many options. It is NOT about the face slapping. It’s about the casual display of dominance and the reminder that we’re going to maintain the structure to which we agreed. THAT’s what I need. THAT’s what I’m looking for.

All of this. ^^^

Structure. Reminders. Yea…

I just want to thank pasta for being a part of my life

ali_thewanderer

In the 40s, women carhops had discovered their tips could increase by up to $25 a week, about $460 in today’s money, if they wore significantly revealing costumes. One offended woman in Texas complained to the Fort Worth Star “we women are sick of looking at girls’ legs; we’d rather look at men’s” in an effort to force a change in women’s uniforms. Instead a local drive in responded by hiring "four husky young men… in blue shorts, white sweaters, and fancy cowboy boots” to serve women at the drive through. (source)

Gunfight

so i’ve just discovered my new favorite artist, mark maggiori

you’re the kind of person I wanna be with when I want to be alone