i apparently have only tormented twitter with timeskip venus shitposts, not tumblr. one day i’ll draw her in actual clothes but this keeps happening. she’s calling your dad

a game show where a toddler has to choose between a cheque for a million dollars or a small basket filled with $8.14 worth of dollar store toys and in the corner of the tv you can see their parents in a locked sound proof room watching from a screen and screaming the whole time

My therapist and I decided that from now on, when I’m thinking something negative about myself, I’m going to imagine that Donald Trump is saying it, because it’s really easy for me to just tell him to fuck off.

Example:

Trump: “Your thighs are fat.” Me: “Fuck you and your fucking wall.”

I think we’re onto something here.

this is probably the best coping skill I’ve ever seen and I am ten billion percent going to use it too

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hi, if you wear glasses, this is your daily reminder to take them off and make sure they’re clean!

#they are never clean #they will never be clean #they will be dirty within a nanosecond of being washed #the water itself will make them dirty #no cloth is pristine enough  (pocketsfullofpixies)

me: *wakes up in a cold sweat* “wh-who am i…..what am i….” *gets up and runs to the mirror*

me: “of….of course……..”

Me: depression isn’t bothering me Me: *forgets to eat, either sleeps too much or not at all, feels nothing 90% of the time, doesn’t change clothes for 8 days* Me: positive vibes ✌

Eccentric Road Signs by Stanley Marsh

In Armarillo, Texas lives the abnormal millionaire philanthropist Stanley Marsh, who’s fond of creating mock road signs throughout the town which sometimes contain deep thoughts, something a quaint poem, sometimes a vulgar term, but rarely any actual traffic direction. Sounds like my kind of crazy. Check out tons more if his signs at this differently colored link or do that reading you were planning on doing today at Stanley’s wikipedia page.

it’s like horse ebooks started making road signs

tag yourself, im nameless terrors

listen, i’m soft and anxious and i’m just trying not to get hurt.

no offense but if a girl ever did this to me my pussy would fall out my body

I’m gay I’m so gay

she can throw me off a bridge

i really hope rotomdex is a huge fucking dick