i want to be with you. not just sexually, but physically. i want to have phone conversations with you, i want to text you memes about our profession. i want to go to your place at night (at any time tbh) and be met by you doing anything at all. maybe watching a tv show you like, maybe grading quizzes or papers or working on your own dissertation, maybe just staring at the wall. i want to tell you about my day. about the classmates i like and the ones i can’t stand and the ones i haven’t decided yet. i want to tell you about one of my professor’s behavior, how she wastes time talking about things that don’t matter at all. i want to hear about yours. i wanna hear about the students you like and the ones you hate, the quiet ones and the loud ones, about the absurd questions people ask you. i want to curl up on the couch with you in one arm and a glass of wine in our hands (or maybe a bottle or maybe beers or maybe whiskey). i want to hear about your work. i wanna know why you got into this field in the first place. i want you to tell me about your life. i want to go out with you. for drinks or dinner or a movie or just a walk. i want to see you around campus and smile at you (and you’d smile back) and feel complete. i want to gush about how fucking smart you are to my friends and family and people i haven’t even met. i want us to be a part of each other’s lives. i want to hold your hand, to feel your skin, to kiss you. god i wanna kiss you. i want to do a lot of other things with you. a lot of firsts, seconds, thirds. i want to give you massages after hard days and tell you it’s gonna be alright. i want to go on trips with you, take pictures with you, hear your voice. i want to fall asleep with you while i hold you in my arms, your head beside mine or on my chest. i want to smell you, to know you, really know you. i want you. all of you. all the time.
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