the walk back to the house was short, but simone’s thirst had her crawling past the gate, barely focused enough to show the guard her badge. “of course i know a place,” she feels sick now. too long without a drink — without anything and her stomach was spinning. “it’s quiet now — but imagine it filled to the brim with emotional women and a camera crew.” she explains nonchalantly, as though she wasn’t not the lit match.
“no one’s here besides me and a few others prepping next weeks episode,” simone explains, “so hot tub, pool,” bottomless bar, she thinks — the one she’d be halfway tucked into if cait hadn’t called her, “open fridge and everything, at least for the next seventy-two hours consider this your paradise.”
running a hand through her hair, “i’ll go get some towels,” she says and points around back, “feel free.” simone grabs a couple bottle of water, drinks one on the way to satiate the thirst clawing at the inside of her throat. she was helpless in this moment — how badly she wanted to just take one shot but cait would smell it, the familiarity in the acrid smell of alcohol would be too obvious.
she returns with the two towels and sets them on lounge chairs a few feet from the edge of the pool. she pulls off her jean and shirt and climbs in, “listen — there’s something therapeutic about the heated pool,” simone begins matter-of-factly, “the show’s psych says it’s supposed to take the contestants back to the womb, that it should heal them” she laughs, as though simone’s entire paycheck wasn’t built on tearing them apart.
“ … then again, she got her degree online right before this season began so it could be a load of shit.”
“this place is fancy as fuck,” cait says, glancing around the entire situation. she’d been to places like this with her parents in the past, but never unsupervised, and definitely not with someone like simone.
the idea that this place was going to be used for a television show set alight it’s own little fire within cait’s belly. she felt...well not famous, but popular by conjunction? did that make sense? tucking a strand of hair into her fingers, she chews on the end before slipping off her shoes.
“you must be used to places like this by now, huh?” she says, referring to simone’s current career choice. getting to squat in a place like this for a few days was going to be heaven, and it’s likely something she was not going to forget.
she was grateful that her friend had been there when she was in desperate need of someone to hold onto, a tether to reality instead of the crumbling depression that seemed to work it’s way into her chest and force a heavy weight onto her shoulders.
releasing the bit of hair between her teeth, hands on her hips, she started to walk the perimeter, dipping her toes into the pool to test temperature. ah, perfect, she sighs, and sits down and slips her feet into the water, kicking up a little bit in a splash pattern.
“we love a dumb bitch who’s tryin’ to educate,” she says, reaching into her pocket for a crumpled package of cigarettes, pulling one from the space, half broken on the edge, she squeezes and pulls off the edge before tossing it aside somewhere behind her. where? she had no clue.
reaching for a lighter in her opposite pocket, she sparks it up and lights the cigarette, inhaling the well groomed tobacco smoke into her lungs. relief.
“you ever think about what your life would be like if you hadn’t gotten sober?”
it’s a loaded question, one that’s been weighing heavily on her mind lately. would things have been better or worse? she’s unsure, but it’s not a healthy path to follow if she would have continued onto her downward spiral.