the crab day thing kind of proves staff must think we're all fucking idiots

hi there. tumblr as a website is currently operating at a deficit because nobody wants to pay for ad free browsing. this is because basic quality-of-life features are either nonexistent or malfunctioning, our staff refuses to take the most trivial of anti-hate speech measures despite demonstrating the tools to do so against minority bloggers, and every form of content moderation is heavily and transparently weighted against the LGBT community. as the people in charge, we have decided that we're going to ignore all of those factors and instead make an appeal to nostalgia to get you to buy dumb cosmetic bullshit for your dashboard while we threaten to turn the website into an even less functional twitter clone, much like how all the smartest shipwrights in the 1920s decided to model their new vessels after the RMS Titanic.

of course you have blood all over you. and pronouns

easy website

^^^ me when I’m trying to calm down my horse named “Website”

weird horse

"Websight" is a Valid Warrior Cat Name!

im literally obsessed with my roommates family. they have this tiny ass puppy and you’re never gonna fucking guess what this thing is called

beefcake craig

delightful news everypony

i want what david cronenberg has

oh yeah, with the new size limit for .gifs this thing can finally be posted

what the fuck

I just….?

TREASURE THIS POST. IT ONLY APPEARS ON YOUR DASH ONCE IN A BLUE MOON I SWEAR

forget posting cringe to scare off Twitter folks, we just gotta make this appear to be the constant vibe here and we’ll be good skdjskksks

[ID: a pair of outstretched hands, offering a chess piece. End ID]

[ID: a pair of

outstretched hands, offering a

chess piece. End ID]

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I'm not a train autist but I still feel an innate connection with trains every time I see them im like woww you're so cool and intricate Can U text me

Unfriendly reminder that all you idiots being like "yeah just pirate media now, fuck corporations!" posting links and just openly telling people where to download pirated media are why it's so hard to find safe, working sites for it anymore.

I've been doing this shit for over 20 years and the availability has gone down as it's become more mainstream. The more you publicly talk about all these sites the less there are. Shut up. Tell people in private or don't tell them at all.

One of my favorite genres of post

i go to a gay bar and notice the furry convention's in town. i see a fine lookin bear remove his fursuit, revealing that underneath, he's also a fine lookin bear. I raise my eyebrows and say "woof" and all the cat furries immediately hiss and scatter

Doms should be expressive and emotive while fucking someone, they should moan and whimper and growl and make whatever noises of pleasure they like, reblog if you agree

Fuck it, since the previous post with my audio and image from this reaching 1k notes got nuked I will post another at 2k

to the girl reading this right now. yeah you should get him pregnant

They need to stop putting alcohol in fruity drinks at parties and not telling anyone 💀

the punch bowl said absolutely nothing about it being like. 50% triple sec what is wrong with this cockout

“With the strikes it’s back to watching reruns and old movies!”

Me, who already doesn’t see new movies til like 5 years after they come out and has a backlog of shows to watch a mile long:

This was in Sioux Falls South Dakota! The green sky is caused by large hail stones within the storm refracting back green light to the observer.

More pics from that day

fyi

Gender reveal parties, and big planned reveals, literally were not a thing ten, fifteen years ago. Don’t let anyone pull that “it’s a tradition!” crap on you, youngsters. They’re LYING. People would either get the ultrasound or not to find out about the genitals, and tell people or not. That was that.

The fuss over “revealing” a baby’s gender in utero stinks of pushback against the shift toward a more nuanced understanding of gender. I mean yeah part of it is social media, and trends catching on, but don’t think for a minute this isn’t part of some regressive attitudes creeping into the mainstream with a cute (blue or pink) bow on it.

Even the woman who helped popularize gender reveal parties is like…slow your roll, fam.

She only had a gender reveal party because it was her first pregnancy that made it to a gender pregnancy scan. All her others had been miscarriages. She was only celebrating a pregnancy milestone!

that…..is a super valid reason for a party.

I’m really bad at conversations sorry if I’ve ever talked to you

Ok everyone time for the big question:

YOU AINT AS SLICK AS YOU THINK YOU ARE

IT'S ALL CHROMIUM BASED

FIREFOX IS THE ONLY NON CHROMIUM BASED BROWSER ON THE MARKET RIGHT NOW

STOP LETTING GOOGLE WIN AND JUST SWITCH TO FIREFOX

IT TAKES LIKE 5 MINUTES AND IT PORTS OVER ALL YOUR PASSWORDS AND BOOKMARKS

I AM BEGGING YOU

Brave's CEO is also Brendan Eich who opposes gay marriage, and worse, he invented javascript.

Posting faggot and queer like 2am gunshots to keep property values on my blog low and scare away assimilationist LGBTs who want to replace my empty lot full of native wildflowers with a 5-over-1 because they're too traumatized by their upbringing to accept the reality of our diverse marginalized community

The dykes and trannies in the notes have informed me they would like to be included in this commentary on the homogenizing forces of gentrification within the queer community as represented by language discourse around "slur" reclamation

how’d you make a blank post?

please tell me

This is the most hilarious thing to see on mobile.

We were feeling pretty chuffed about having the #6 trending post on this website until we saw number 7 was a Supernatural mpreg edit

Alrighty then

Yea that's fair