Wtf did I just watch

Snoop dogg just invented coinstar for cheese

The blood vessels on your head.

Me after listening to tool

Donut doing a fun agility course - she’s such an agility star and she absolutely loves it!

Ferret sees snow for the first time

(via)

Sandwich 2

Jesus was relaxing in Heaven when he noticed a familiar looking old man

Wondering if the old man was His father Joseph, Jesus asked him, “Did you, by any chance, ever have a son?”

“Yes,” said the old man, “but he wasn’t my biological son. He was born by a miracle, by the intervention of a magical being from the heavens.”

“Very interesting,” said Jesus. “Did this boy ever have to fight temptation?”

“Oh, yes, many times,” answered the old man. “But he eventually won. Unfortunately, he heroically died at one point, but he came back to life shortly afterwards.”

Jesus couldn’t believe it. Could this actually be His father?

“One last question,” He said. “Were you a carpenter?”

“Why yes,” replied the old man. “Yes I was.”

Jesus rubbed His eyes and said, “Dad?”

The old man rubbed his eyes and said, “Pinocchio?”

Change your url Jeff

Reverse Robin Hood where you rob the poor and give to the rich

#u know what’s so cool about this photo? #they both dead and in hell

hold the fuck up I just noticed there’s an apple juice emoji

SCREAMING

Thats a GRAPE JUICE BOXBDBDBDND

OH SHIT.

God I wish I could have some apple juice :(

what the shit is this????? boiled egg????? boiled egg juice???

its orange juice clearly

Is appl

J Ü C E

Juicebox tower of Babel

I really hate it. It makes me so mad because they’re such bullshit excuses and yet they act like they’re totally valid reasons to arrest someone and oh, what a fucking “coincidence” that they’re all black people. They wouldn’t arrest a white person for any of this shit. FUCK OFF.

Stabbys great grand pappy, Slashy

Gonna tell y’all what I can hear now that I got my hearing aids

Birds! They chirp and it’s so beautiful.

Far away cow moos

My friend has this is his back yard and to say I cried is an understatement.

My best friends singing voice

Chickens: *chicken noise*

Me, sobbing:

The filter for my fish tank! Bubble bubble bubble

I sit in the bass section in band. Today I could clearly hear the flutes up at the front! They’re not great, but I can finally hear them!

The sound of walking in sand.

Soft but kinda crunchy? Very nice sound 10/10

Me playing guitar for the first time. Took the hearing aids out. Not a very good sound… yet

Tree leaves in the wind. I got a little spooked at first because it’s 1 am and I’m alone in the park but it’s a real good sound.

Bees

Let me say, it was really fucking terrifying walking past the flowering tree in my backyard and hearing zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz coming from it.

“sunlight” by Hozier

I sat in my car alone while listening to it. I knew it would be special but wow, that was a religious experience.

Their hooves make sounds in the grass but they are completely silent. Beautiful creatures. Beautiful sound

Pine needles and pine cones make crunchy sounds!!! Oh my! Very nice

Colored pencils make a real nice scratch noise when I’m drawing. I didn’t know they did that

I forgot to add this is the beginning! But that little sniffing noise that dogs make when they’re smelling the air or the ground? Wonderful!

OCEAN!!!!!!

So there was just an entire booth full of wind chimes for sale at mountain fair. It started to get a little windy and they all went off at once. It was so pretty.

When your lady on her period.

this got  funnier as it went

“Don’t call her a bitch but

GET YOUR BITCH SOME CHOCOLATE”

Facts 😂

There needs to be some sort of induction ceremony

This is the only comedy sketch that doesn’t make fun of women and their period. It try’s to make you relies how weird and annoying periods really are. That’s really refreshing

I legitimately wish they showed this to me in 6th grade health class.

MY AMAZON PACKAGE WAS STOLEN😂😂😂

@wakandamama

BRUH😂😂😂

girl i can make your dick honk