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Sometimes Life Is A Disaster

@baby-and-cakes / baby-and-cakes.tumblr.com

They/them
Polyamorous
Still figuring shit out
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It's so funny how kids who were only given the "girl" toys seemed to frequently develop the most maniacal imaginations. When I was little and I visited friends or family who were little girls they'd have their Barbies involved in ritual sacrifice or human trafficking. They'd have barbie's evil twin drive ken to suicide by poisoning his horse or some shit.

Action figures set up only the simplest kinds of violence, heroes and villains punching or shooting each other over doomsday plots. When you crave high stakes drama as all children do but your characters are all rich suburban women you kinda have no choice but to get pitch dark I think. The only kinds of villains that logically exist in that setting are just so much sicker and nastier than just doctor octopus or something.

I’ve been hurt so many times, I think it’s fucking with the way I think about people and relationships.

I know what I want. I know who I want.

But my brain is dumb and thinking all wrong.

the inherent horor of being trans is knowing you are the single touchstone a cis person will probably ever have

im reminded of when i went to sit my philosophy exam and had an ex-officer as an invidulator. he asked me if i was trans, something i had no obligation to answer. but if i didnt, i would be cagey. i would now paint an image of all trans people being rude in his mind, so i said yes

that invidulator asked me why, as a trans student, i should have my rights respected if there are so few of us

and instead of rightfully getting pissed off, i had to remember that i am currently representing a community of millions to a single man in a room with just the two of us in it. i could be the deciding factor on how he conducts behaviour with trans people in the future. what if he gets called to invidulate again in 20 years time and has another trans student? what if he remembers the one he met before, and instantly assumes he knows our community?

so i explained to him why i should have rights. and i used my words carefully, because if i slip up even once i have now put a trans person in danger, because he has made a choice based on me

trans people dont get to be angry. cis people always joke about how we demand a space, or we demand the right name, or we demand they bow down to us

think very carefully, did that trans woman demand that you use the right name, or did she correct you? did that trans man hold you at gunpoint, demanding you let him piss in public, or did he look like he wanted to use the disabled toilet to avoid bothering you all together. did the nonbinary trans person have you on your knees begging for forgiveness, or did they ask nicely for you to be mindful of their pronouns?

the transphobic narrative is one of victimhood, meanwhile if i even use the wrong tone cis people will act as a child does, and they will demand that the next trans person they meet apologise

every trans person you meet is aware of this too. we're all very tuned into the fact that we are ambassadors, and that we never asked to be that. i dont want to have to very carefully consider 'will a curt answer mean someome later dies', but every day of my life i do

and cis people need to know that. to be trans is to literally walk on constant eggshells of cis fragility. its why when we see a new trans celebrity we have to desperately hope they dont do stupid fucking shit like caitlyn jenner did. because now everyone thinks trans women are like her. because now negotiations for our right to exist unmolested have gone back another 20 years

and tbh, cis people are pathetically weak. a trans person asked you to use the right name? that did not happen in a vacuum. that trans person has met 50-60 cis people today who refused

and guess what? we get tired too

Can we just… normalize teens loving their parents? Like obviously you’re not obligated to if your parents are shitty, but damn, I love my mom. She’s there for me all the time and sure we have rough patches but honestly she’s the greatest. Like. We need teens to know that they don’t have to hate their parents just cause.

It must be nice to come from a nonabusive family. One that doesn’t traumatized every emotional interaction to the point where you drive away any sign of love as a form of manipulation because that’s all that you were raised with. 🤷‍♀️

It is.

Reading Comprehension  

but loving ur parents is already normalized and its the kids w/ abusive parents that actually have to deal with misunderstandings and ignorance from others regarding this topic.

Hey there, I’m talking about the trope where it’s seen as super uncool to like your parents that was literally pushed on teens through the media since the culture shift in the early 60s. The post has nothing to do with abusive parents. I was abused as a kid and honestly if the trope where teens have to hate their parents to be cool died, then kids with actual abusive parents would have an easier time recognizing abuse this has been a psa

“if the trope where teens have to hate their parents to be cool died, then kids with actual abusive parents would have an easier time recognizing abuse”

Teen with abusive parents: I hate my parents

Teen influenced by society: Me too mine are the worst

The takeaway for teen 1: This is normal and it’s supposed to be this way

The takeaway for teen 2: My friend’s parents are like mine

The takeaway for any adult listening: All kids who complain about their parents are just being rebellious

this is important

i learned that Binghamton University researchers have been working on a self-healing concrete that uses a specific type of fungi as a healing agent. When the fungus is mixed with concrete, it lies dormant until cracks appear, when spores germinate, grow and precipitate calcium carbonate to heal the cracks (x)

What could possibly be more cursed than mushrooms growing bones to heal the chasms in the road

What could possibly be more blessed than mushrooms growing bones to heal the chasms in the road

Sometimes good parents make mistakes.

There might come a day when you look at your parent who loves you, tries their best, never abused you, and realize that they don’t always know best. And it’s a weird thing to come to terms with. To know you were loved but there were still bad things that they did accidentally. But even if it’s small you’re allowed to struggle with it. You don’t need to have been through the worst kind of abuse to question your parents.

This isn’t a post about abusive and/or manipulative parents. It’s about things like your mom leaving you with an irrational fear of germs or your dad trying to get you on a diet when you’re a kid because he believes the studies about weight affecting health. Not intentional harm and not abuse. Just garden variety mistakes.

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No one is perfect, including good parents. They're human, they're going to make mistakes, even the best of them.

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this is SO funny

The idea that, if Eleven and Matilda ever met they would be enemies or fight is totally ludicrous. Matilda would take one look in Eleven’s lost, angry eyes, and take her in. She’d be patient and thorough, teaching her new words every day, and they would share chocolates and roller skate and have regular kid fun. Matilda would show her board games but Eleven would insist on cards. They’d both cheat and see who was better at getting away with it. Eleven would teach Matilda how to move larger objects with her powers and be utterly fucking thrilled by the story of revenge on Ms. Trunchbull.

They would be thick as thieves and no one can convince me otherwise.

Matilda and eleven both had shit ass childhoods and the concept they’d fight is surreal

shout out to boys who’ve recently discovered they’re not straight, or not cis. another shout out to boys who used to identify as one queer/LGBT+ identity, and now identify as another. identify isn’t fluid, you’re always growing and changing as a person and that’s okay! you don’t have to be married to one label your entire life, and it’s normal and okay to go through tons of labels and identities throughout the years! i’m proud of you for continuing to learn about yourself and being open to growth and change.

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You shouldn’t have to tolerate casual nonbinary erasure from cis people. Cissexism, exorsexism, general binary assumptions, etc. are painful and serious issues. You are not just “being difficult” or “sensitive” by pointing out this harm being done to you.

My worlds just collided in my mind.

I am listening to a song we listen to and love at work, in a place where I grew up, one of the places in which my trauma happened.

And some of its lyrics are glorious and mood.

I'm alive. I'm here. And I. Win.

Fuck you, mom. I am doing my own thing and am successful at it!

I. Win.

Every moment I breathe in this place, I win.

Everytime I breathe, I win.

FUCK YOU, MOM.

You don't know the woman that you're dealing with now.

😉😏🙃

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i was at the zoo and just kind of vagueing out leaning on a rail and watching the duck pond and in the background a kid started yelling “he’s coming for you! he’s coming for you!!” and i thought it was some game she was playing with her family or something up until i felt a little hand grab my elbow and looked down to see this tiny wide-eyed child staring up at me with the world’s most serious expression and she said in a solemn voice

“he’s here for you”

and something reached out and grabbed my other hand

it turns out that a resident cockatoo has figured out that if it just waddles back and forth along the rail it can get the maximum amount of attention and headskritches with the minimum amount of flying and objectively this is very cute but at the same time this was very nearly the way that a grown adult died of a heart attack at the zoo

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lmao yep that’s the one!

i love bird tumblr so much, where else could you go “hey look at this bird” and have a complete stranger not only know where it lives, but declare that it’s their nemesis

This is legit my favorite post

This is so wholesome

Update: he finally got the cat to the vet to see if she had a microchip

I was already on board with his sweet wholesome open-to-love-and-nurturing heart but I was fully unprepared for getting to that last tweet and seeing how off the hook HOT dude is

https://twitter.com/pariszarcilla?lang=en heres his twitter is here there is also additonal cat photos of his children. 

CAT DAD IS BACK

aww, the kids grow up so fast. ;-;

HHHHHHHH I LOVE CAT DAD!

This is, by far, the single most adorable fucking thing I have ever seen. 

update:

I love that he kept …. All of them.

I’ve reblogged the earlier part of this thread before, and the new stuff makes it even better.

This is the Tumblr equivalent of a warm hug on a cold day.

You’re welcome.

I remember this thread, but I never saw the grown-up pics ❤

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Awwww!